Sentimental Scam, How To Recognize A Love Scammer?

Last updated by Katie M.

Recently, I devoured “Inventing Anna” and “The Tinder Swindler” on Netflix! What do these two programs have in common? They both tell the true story of con artists who scam people out of huge sums of money. The way they work is pretty much the same, the victims are taken in because of friendship or love. This type of sentimental scam has exploded with dating sites and apps, so how can you recognize an online scammer? We’ll explain.


The love scammer has a goal

I’ve already been the victim of a narcissistic pervert, and it’s horrible rebuilding yourself after such a relationship. However, I’m glad that I didn’t have a worse experience with a scam to steal hundreds and thousands of dollars from me. This is what a sentimental scam is all about, the aim is to steal from the victim 😥!

👉 The way it works is always the same:

The scammer will love bomb us by sending all possible and unimaginable evidence of their love to make us trust them. Once they’ve done everything to reassure us, the trap will close. He or she will start asking us for money to fix this or that problem… Our empathy will kick in, and we’ll want to help them by putting our hands in our pockets and pow 😫! The money will be sent, and the scammer will disappear…

Manipulators at their best

The people who set up these scams are only motivated by money and power. They’re unparalleled narcissistic manipulators who have no boundaries and no empathy. They can be characterized as asocial in the sense that they’re true sociopaths who are ready to do anything to reach their goal.

You might think that people who get scammed have a lack of self-confidence and are lacking in love. Unfortunately, that’s not the case, we can all be victims of this type of scam if we trust someone. What’s not easy is that the manipulators do everything they can to prove they’re worthy of this trust, so how can you recognize them?

>>> Discover the advantages and disadvantages of dating sites

The trailer of “The Tinder Swindler”.

How to recognize a sentimental scammer? 🚩

You need to be aware that it’s an emotional scam, the aim is to swindle us by pulling at our feelings. We therefore need to have a mental list of all the red flags to identify problem behaviors. But even with all that in mind, you can still fall for it and be taken in by someone you meet online. So here are some tips to recognize a love scammer 💔:

1. He has a perfect profile

To begin with, you have to go through the profile of the person with whom you want to “match” with a fine tooth comb. A profile that’s a little too perfect is strange, especially when there are very beautiful photos. They may have been stolen from professional models in other countries or bought from image banks. It’s also worrying when there are few photos of him. The scammer will make sure to have a profile that can appeal to a lot of people to reach as many people as possible and have several victims 😱.

2. He wants to talk to you outside the dating app

Yes, some people prefer a real date to an exchange of messages on a dating app. Of course, there’s no substitute for a real, face-to-face relationship, we’re not in the metaverse after all! However, when the person insists on talking to you through social media even though we’ve only just made contact, it’s not healthy.

⚠️ It’s better to exchange the first messages on the app and have a written conversation (in case you need proof) in the early stages. When you decide to meet the person, it needs to be in a public place, and you need to warn your close ones, so you take maximum precaution.

3. He’s never available to meet you

In contrast to the dating scam, there’s also the scammer who says they can never meet you. This is the most common type of scam: you talk to someone online, you connect with them, but they’re abroad or never available and make no effort to meet you for a first date. Some even have the nerve to ask for money, arguing that this is the only way to see each other for the first time 😰!

4. He wants to move very fast

It’s better to take things slowly with someone you’ve met online and know nothing about. It’s best to be wary and take a step back, so you don’t rush into a dangerous relationship. If someone says “I love you” very quickly and talks about marriage/children after a relationship of just a few weeks, it’s a bad sign!

👉 Early or inappropriate declarations of love never bode well! Even if you feel a lack of love, you need to slow things down, a truly loving person will know how to be patient and wait for you.

5. He’s very demonstrative

Scammers behave in an overly erratic, dramatic or strange way. Extravagant promises are made, such as: “I’ll take you to every country in the world; I’d take the stars out of the sky for you; if you want a new car, I’ll buy you one; etc.”. Those carrying out a scam with great fanfare can be very demonstrative, both with messages of love and small gestures. They bombard you with love and glitter to make us believe their lies.

🎬 In the Netflix documentary:

One of the young women scammed, Cecile Fjellhoy, went abroad with the scammer a few hours after meeting him. This is by no means to blame the victim because the scammer had done everything he could to make her believe that he was very rich. However, you should always question the behavior of others and not accept every offer, no matter how tempting.

6. He wants to have private information

Not all information about your private life should be communicated online: your surname, phone number, social media profiles, the places you frequent regularly (gym, work, bars, etc.). Even after meeting, you should take your time before giving this kind of information, no matter how much the other person tells you they love you 🙄. Trust is earned and built up over time!

7. He asks us for money

It’s good to remember that it’s not normal to be asked for money, especially in a romantic context. If it’s a very close family member or someone we trust and have known for many years, then it’s not shocking. In a romantic relationship, it’s more delicate, especially if you’ve just met them. You have the right to refuse to lend money to anyone. It’s important to assert yourself and dare to say no.

Run away at the slightest doubt

On the Internet, everything can be faked: a profile on a dating site, an official document, supporting documents, a phone number, sites, etc. Even passports can be fake 😰! So it’s not easy to spot a scam, and it’s even worse when you’re faced with a Simon Leviev or an Anna Delvey…

If you have the slightest doubt, you should cut off all contact with the person so as not to put yourself in danger. It’s crucial to talk about the relationship to those around you to get an outside perspective and support in case of any problems. If the scam has gone too far, don’t hesitate to file a complaint and seek psychological support to recover from such a betrayal. If you see that someone close to you is a victim, don’t blame them, but accompany them through the trauma. Let’s not forget who the victims of a sentimental scam are.

Editor’s note: A traumatic betrayal

Being a victim of this kind of scam is traumatic, you wonder how you could have been so blind and been taken in. Your ego takes a hit, as does your ability to trust again or enter into a new relationship. It’s a real trauma that needs psychological support. If you’re in this situation, make an appointment with a psychologist immediately.

🤗 Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... It’s here and now!

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Article presented by Katie M.

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