Tips On How To Say No, When You Don't Want To Do Things

Last updated by Katie M.

So that’s it then, you find yourself trapped for the weekend, forced to take on more work, to look after your nephew or to go away with your in-laws. Well, what do you expect? You always say yes to everything! Being agreeable may seem like a good trait on paper, but in reality, it can make you unhappy and draw you into uncomfortable situations. Struggling to refuse requests can often be put down to an innate fear of offending or disappointing people. The time has come for you to put yourself first as well as listen to your own desires.

Contents:

5 Ways to say 'no' without feeling bad about it

It’s often the need to be liked and appreciated that drives us to say yes, straight away, without even thinking about it, to everything anyone ever asks us. This stems from feeling frustrated and having low self-esteem. Now, no more feeling trapped, here’s how to assert your opinion more easily:

1. Use the phrase “yes but…”

To do this, you have to rank your priorities. For instance, if you need to rest, but someone invites you to a party, say “yes, but I’m only going to stay until 2am”. Likewise, if your boss gives you more work to do, on top of all the work you already have, say to them, “yes, but at the moment I have more urgent work to do, I will take a look at it after”. So, you get the picture now!

>>> Discover the 8 things you shouldn't care about.

2. Take the time to think to things through before deciding

When someone suggests something to you, you don’t have to agree straight away, take time to think about it. Mindfulness mediation might help you. This will allow you to work on acting less impulsively.

3. Put forward your arguments but don’t justify yourself

If you argue “no”, the person you are talking to can hear your reasoning straight away. This allows you to explain yourself, but without getting aggressive and especially without justifying yourself by making up far-fetched excuses. Be honest and explain yourself.

4. Defend your private life

You have a right to want to have some alone time, to have your own plans, to be with your own family or partner. Basically, there are times when you’re not available, and that’s normal. Once you have accepted this fact, you will feel more comfortable turning people down and will be able to make the most of YOUR life.

5. Hang on in there

If those around you have always heard you say yes, it’s going to be hard for them to accept you deciding the opposite. That doesn’t matter, it’s your choice, so stand firm and simply repeat what you said before without giving in.

>>> Learn how to be assertive at work

And what about at work? How can you assert yourself professionally?

By wanting to do everything all the time, more or less willingly, burnouts claim more and more victims. That’s why it’s essential to know how to resist strong reluctance from time to time. Refusing to do things means taking back control of your planning at work, but also means becoming more productive. Basically, you’ve got every reason to disagree with your boss.

The reasons why should you say no:

  • To show that you are truly in tune with your values
  • To respect your boundaries and yourself
  • To increase your self-confidence
  • To get enjoyment out of everything you do
  • To regain your freedom to choose
  • To not suffer
  • To look after yourself and your health

Why is it difficult to say no?

Struggling to say no and to put yourself first are symptoms of being too nice. In fact, the reluctance to say no stems from the urge to avoid conflictual arguments and dramas. Indeed, being agreeable is the best weapon to defuse tension. Not wanting to let people down may seem totally normal, but it shouldn't mean that we often find ourselves pulling off mission impossible in order to avoid losing friends. Refusing to always be so agreeable doesn't make you a mean person, instead it means you are concerned for your own welfare. Asserting yourself by appearing firm is, above all, loving yourself, respecting yourself, and it’s essential for your mental health and self-confidence. What if we finally learned to say yes to ourselves for the sake of our own happiness? We’ll show you how to go about it.

Editor's opinion - Give it a go!

Saying “no” is a real learning process, you should practice it a bit every day. It’s hard at first, but when you see how good it is for you, you won’t be able to stop. Wave goodbye to frustration and anger, you’re now free! Learning to say “no” might take you a while, but as long as you don’t lose sight of your objective, you will finally be able to take the reins of your life and be proud of yourself. Good luck!
If your inability to say “no” lands you in impossible situations or puts the brakes on your life, it might be time to contact a therapist. Together, you will get to the crux of the problem and will find solutions.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe


Discover the following articles:

Article presented by
Katie M.

🌻 Discover the world through my eyes.

Read our latest articles here:

What Are The 6 Types Of Narcissism?

There are a whole range of narcissistic personalities out there, and they scale from highly toxic to rather positive (surprising, right?!). That being said, most mental health experts agree that there are 6 types of narcissistic profiles, which whilst they may all be based on an inflated sense of self-esteem, they are in reality all drastically different, and more or less severe. When it comes to dealing with this type of personality disorder, it’s best to know what you are up against, in order to react appropriately, as well as to avoid falling into their traps and becoming their latest victim. After all, knowledge is power, and that’s never be truer than in this particular context.

10 Weird Things Narcissists Do Sexually - Romance Is Dead

As with many things in life, narcissists also have unhealthy relationships with sex and treat it as nothing more than a self-gratifying activity. After all, manipulation, control, and emotional abuse are their so-called trusty weapons that they hide behind in most circumstances, so why wouldn’t they call on them in the bedroom too? The bottom line is people with this personality disorder are used to getting what they want and will only ever put themselves and their pleasure first, which doesn’t bode well for a healthy sex life. 🙈 Discover the weird things narcissists do in the bedroom and what you should do if you are involved with one.

Are Narcissists Born Or Made? - Let's Settle The Debate

There you have it, the nature vs nurture debate is back, only this time I want to focus it on those deviously manipulative personalities we refer to as narcissists. Now, evidently these folks get bad press and rightly so because they are often at the root of plenty of harm, but is it really their fault? Can they really be blamed for their terrifying and perhaps inherent traits, or are they simply just products and in this case victims of their environments? Let’s settle this debate once and for all and figure out how and when this disorder becomes apparent. So, are you born a narcissist or is it developed?

Why Your Boyfriend Gets Defensive When You Talk About My Feelings

Relationships are never exactly straightforward, and at points, a crystal ball wouldn’t go amiss when it comes to understanding what your partner’s reactions are hiding. Now, sadly not all of us own a trusty crystal ball, but our experience when it comes to love is just as precious in analyzing potential pitfalls related to emotions. This may sound a little cliché, but us girls love talking about our feelings, whether that be about when we are falling in love, or when we are feeling sad. Yet some guys get really defensive whenever these serious topics come round, here’s why.

How Long Will A Narcissist Rebound Relationship Last?

Narcissist rebound relationships generally last anywhere from 6-months to a year. Now, whilst the timeframe depends on each individual, these twisted personalities usually head into these relationships with a plan in mind, meaning they know exactly when and where they'll break things off. Plus, when they are in the final stages of a relationship with you, they are no doubt in the process of grooming their next victim. That's right, the need for a constant narcissistic supply means that they aren't likely to date any one person for an extensive period of time. For them, they require fresh blood every 6-months or so because they simply get bored. Let's take a look at the reasons why they keep their rebounds short, but not so sweet.

Is Sleeping With A Colleague Or Your Boss A Dangerous Game?

I’ve had a crush on someone at work before. Honestly, if I hadn’t found out later that he was in a relationship, I’d have gone all out to seduce him. Except that we all know the “No sex at work” rule, which means that it’s a bad idea to sleep with a colleague, or worse, your boss! Is it really that dangerous a game? What do you risk if you’re caught in the act? I’ll explain it all to you (yes, I did my homework before going for it)!

I’m Having Doubts About My Relationship

This happens often. Since life in a relationship, and even love, are never a smooth ride, of course, I have my doubts 😵‍💫. Not on the same wavelength, the impression that the grass is greener on the other side, different plans… Under the weight of doubts, love loses its splendor. Can it be fixed? I don’t think so, but the important thing is to know how to react.

What Is Candaulism?

Now, many of you are no doubt scratching your head wondering what candaulism means, but some of you must already know by now, and that would explain the recent spike in Google searches for the term. Candaulism is in fact a sexual practice in which a man exposes his female partner or photos of her, to other consenting people. This particular fantasy is therefore associated with exhibitionism. Although that’s not all, the term can also apply to a male partner watching his girlfriend or wife making love to someone else. So, let’s take a peep (get it?) at this practice.

Create a Peaceful Living Space

For years, I didn’t really take care of my home. Not that it was dirty, but there was no particular decoration, and most of all, a lot of clutter. Then one day, I decided to do a major decluttering! I thought it would be a dreadful task, but in the end, I realized that organizing my apartment also helped clear my mind. We often overlook this, but having a peaceful living space truly makes a difference!

Mature Love: How Do Relationships Evolve Over Time?

They say that love is like fine wine: it evolves, matures, and becomes even more delightful with time. I say "they say," but in reality, I’m certain of it. Even though I’m single as I write this article, I’ve experienced long-lasting love stories, and there’s nothing quite like reaching mature love—the kind that provides security and support. That’s why today, I want to talk to you about how romantic relationships evolve!



Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist

wengood

  1. Only LoveBen Howard
    4:08
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
    4:55
  4. Beautiful DayU2
    4:08
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
    4:41
  6. White FlagDido
    4:00
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
    4:13
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
    3:17
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
    3:35
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
    4:24
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
    3:07
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
    4:37
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
    3:46
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
    2:17
  15. With Or Without YouU2
    4:56
  16. HelloAdele
    4:55
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
    3:29
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
    3:21
  19. WingsBirdy
    4:12
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar
    3:41

How to detect a narcissist

How to detect a narcissist

How to soothe an anxiety attack

How to soothe an anxiety attack