3 Reasons why you ought to give dating apps a go
1. They are great platforms for shy people
Approaching strangers – even very good-looking ones is a very complicated task for some of us. If this is the case for you, you'll no doubt feel more comfortable sitting on your sofa and behind a screen. Thanks to the first few exchanges, you establish some basic information about the person and lay the groundwork before the fateful first encounter.
2. You save a considerable amount of time
Dating apps suit those who don’t have time to look for love, or not very much time. You might send a few messages whilst waiting for your coffee to cool down, or when you’re on your way to the gym… you date based around your own schedule.
3. You don’t worry about people judging you
On a dating app, chatting to multiple people is tolerated. So, during an evening, if you’re keen on several people, at the same time or one after the other, you won’t quickly get labelled as unflattering.
> Read; am I too demanding of my partner? <
And 10 good reasons to avoid dating sites all together
1. The problem with photos
In real life, you can’t hide your baldness or being 10 years older. On the Internet, photos are often misleading and so lead to disappointment during the date. What’s more, knowing what photo to post to best show yourself off, without revealing too much, is a real headache.
2. The reality is often different to what's presented
What if you’re not keen on their voice, smell or the vibes they give off? It’s difficult, even impossible, to know such information just from talking through texts. Also, if you start getting attached to someone over a few virtual exchanges, the absence of real feelings will be especially disappointing.
3. Inappropriate pick-up lines are everywhere
The old “hey, how’s it going?” when you don’t know each other and the softer pick-up lines (like the naff “hello”) will soon start to annoy you. Whether they’re too abrupt or just lack class, they rarely make you want to explore things further with someone.
4. It's not the perfect romantic setting
Whether it’s a barrier to happiness or not, social media is becomingly increasingly part of our lives. No matter how much we have lived and grown up with it, it just doesn’t provide the same magic that real life does. I don’t want to tell my children that I clicked on their dad to meet him.
5. Rapid consumption patterns
Are you not replying fast enough to your messages? You’ll be dropped like a dirty dishcloth. Are you the fifth blond with blue eyes to appear on that guy’s screen? You’ll be forgotten about. But oh well, it’s not enough to make you angry because you do exactly the same thing.
6. You get lost amid the wide selection
Have you heard about Helen Fisher, anthropologist and scientific advisor, and her experience on Meetic? Excuse the comparison, but she demonstrates how it is easier to make a choice between 5 or 6 products, than between 30, or even more. All those slices of bread and jam visualize this point.
7. Not everyone takes it seriously
You might say that, in life, you come across annoying people lacking in manners. But on a dating app, you have to sift through everyone. Among those who simply want sex and those who are genuinely looking to start a relationship… it’s often hard to find someone who has the same expectations as you.
8. You don’t have many real dates
Out of your 200 matches, how many people have engaged in conversation? And you, have you often started conversations? Out of these exchanges, how many have resulted in an actual date?
9. Your self-esteem is really put to the test
When walking in the street, you don’t wonder why no one has approached you. But on an app, the fact that no one wants to match with you can hurt. That’s a lot of confidence you’ll have to rebuild!
10. Getting ghosted also harms your self-confidence
Ghosting is a technique used by cowardly people when they are no longer interested in you. It’s really easy to not show any sign of life from one day to the next when we are shielded by a screen… But the human being on the other end of that screen might wonder what they have done wrong to deserve it, and that’s bad.
Editor's opinion – When going through real life poses problems
On dating apps, everyone puts on a persona to avoid revealing their personality, and this makes what happens next more complicated. The shift from reality is disappointing as it rarely lives up to our expectations. Behind our screen, we are like children flicking through a brochure for toys. Accept we’re searching for the perfect human being…
For Fabienne Kraemer, a psychoanalyst, “We tend to judge very quickly on the first date. The person isn’t this or isn’t that…”. Reason enough to leave and move on to the next date. Yet, the whole aim of the date is to try and cross that barrier successfully. Often, we don’t give time for the relationship to develop.
So, you’re free to want to try the experience, but remember to take a step back, choose your app well and be a little bit patient. Let’s no forget that we are all human!
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