"My Ex Was Crazy" If A Guy Says This… Run!

Last updated by Katie M.

I am probably the crazy ex. At least, I'm pretty sure some of my exes present me that way to their new girlfriends. Except that description shouldn’t be overlooked because it reveals a lot about a man’s behavior and could be seen as a red flag. What's behind it when a man talks about his ex, who was an alleged total nut job? Here’s why you ought to run as fast as you can if you’re currently dating a guy who deems his ex as crazy.


What does it mean when a man claims his ex-girlfriend was crazy?

Well, when a guy says this, it can mean a lot of things that I didn't know how to decipher before. When men would say that to me, I initially used to feel like he had been in a toxic relationship with a manipulative woman and I would think "oh poor guy 😳". But now I’ve come to realize that it was more the other way around. I think Natalie Portman hit the nail on the head here, during her speech at Power of Women, she said, "If a man tells you a woman is crazy or a pain in the ass, ask him: what did you do to her to make her that way?".

The translation of "my ex is nuts."

When I hear a man say this, I now translate it this way: "I led her on, played with her emotions and destroyed her sanity. Now I'm making her out to be crazy when she was rightfully hurt, but I’ll go ahead demonizing her anyway."

⚠️ In short, this is narcissistic behaviorso it is best to avoid this type of man. By the way, this phrase is on my list of red flags. Basically, these are the danger signals that you need to run away from someone who is completely unhealthy.

A sexist language tic

To label a woman "crazy" or hysterical is a common tactic to discredit her emotions and experiences 😠. Men often use this term to absolve themselves and put the blame on women. Using this term to describe women in a romantic relationship speaks volumes about male behavior 🙄...

Why should we run away from a man who says this to us?

Besides reflecting sexist behavior, which is already an excuse to run away, I now have a list of reasons written in my mind that keep me from getting involved.

👉 Because he doesn't question himself.

If he's telling us this when the relationship isn't even committed, it gives us a big clue for what's next: there will be no second-guessing on his part. He's not going to question why he was hurtful or why he hurt our emotions. In short, for him, everything has to go his way 🤦♀️.

👉 Because he is immature

It's very childish behavior to blame the failure of the relationship on the person who can't speak from their perspective. This goes hand in hand with a lack of questioning! This lack of maturity is recurrent in manipulators, they feel that it is others who have to adapt to them.

👉 Because he doesn't own up to his mistakes

Sometimes we do things that we are not proud of. Some may even lead to a breakup, but you have to step back and take ownership. It's really a difficult exercise since you have to introspect and have a neutral eye. But it shows how much we decide to take into account all aspects of our personality, unlike a man who blatantly refuses to 👀.

👉 Because he can be violent.

I'm not necessarily talking about physical abuse, but more psychological abuse. It's legitimate to wonder what the person did to cause the "ex" for her to behave so extremely. In my past relationships, I have had exes who manipulated me and made me feel so miserable... Yes, people can indeed be violent with words too.

The phrase you want to hear: "we had differences ..."

Like, I said, it took me a while to realize that "my ex was crazy" was a problematic phrase. It wasn't until I talked to one of these famous ex-girlfriends that my partner dated that I realized the gravity of the problem. All the behaviors he was blaming her for were actually his responsibility. So, now I can confidently say that I prefer a man who tells me "We have had our differences, but I respect her and wish her the best". It's much more mature and much sexier. Most of all, it shows that he's a healthy person, which is why it's part of my green flags 💚!

The opinion of the editors: We’re all someone’s crazy ex

You’ve no doubt already got the message, but it is necessary to be attentive to this kind of speech, which says a lot about the individual you have in front of you. Let's not forget that we are all the crazy ex. of someone, right? Although, the individuals that make such claims are likely to drag you into a toxic relationship that will destroy you psychologically. If you have any doubts about your relationship or the person you are dating, don't hesitate to talk to a psychologist.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... It's here and now!

Be sure to check out these articles too;

Article presented by Katie M.

Discover the world through my eyes.

Read our latest articles here:

10 Secrets To Successful Relationships

Stories of couples who spend their whole lives together seem like distant fairy tales nowadays. With the rise of dating apps and a shift in the idea of what constitutes a traditional relationship; the word long-term almost sounds foreign to many of us. Being in love isn't always simple, but when it works out, it's worth all the hard work. Being the romantic souls that we are, we wanted to share with you the recipe for a long-lasting and harmonious relationship. After all, who doesn't want to experience what their grandparents did? Discover the best tips for a happy and healthy love story.

Are You Scared Of Success?

Amid the fear of failing hides another fear that is less often spoken about, and that's the fear of succeeding. Doing well isn’t necessarily the key to happiness, that’s why there may be times when we fear it. Although it might seem strange, when we start to achieve our personal goals, we open ourselves up to a wave of new emotions that aren't exactly always easy to deal with. When we are caught off guard by our results, we often go into panic mode and struggle with this concept, however that's not to say we should let this hold us back.

Self-Love Checklist

Life can be a bit of a rollercoaster, and whilst I'm sure we'd all agree that at times we are lucky enough to experience dizzying highs, at other points, we all go through gut-wrenching lows that really do bring us crashing down. Feeling good about ourselves 365 days a year is certainly a big ask, but it's definitely not impossible, and I'm proof of that! Psst, lean in, I want to let you into a secret! Whenever I'm feeling down or when my anxiety spins out of control, I take a look at my self-love checklist for inspiration and decide that it's time to make myself feel better about things.

Teaching Men To Be More Emotionally Honest

As a self-confessed emotional sponge and anxiety sufferer, I've always found men's unwillingness to deal with their emotions surprising. I've always had a turbulent relationship with my emotions, however, over the years, I've learned that introspection and honesty have helped me to deal with them effectively. Men, on the other hand, typically have a tougher time opening up and taking the time to understand what they feel, but although it may seem difficult, acknowledging their fears, anxieties, and dreams will catapult them to the ultimate stage of happiness.

Can We Fall In Love Without Seeing The Person?

If you had asked me this question a few years ago, I would have said hell no, but recently and thanks to recent discoveries, my opinion has done a whole 180°. Nowadays, there are a variety of ways for us to find our soulmate without actually even seeing them; we can fall in love online, we can meet someone on dating sites, or, alternatively, we can sign up to Netflix's hottest dating show; 'Love Is Blind'. Now, if you haven't yet binge-watched this rollercoaster series, and are in need of a little romance in your life, you know exactly what to do.

Fear Of Rain Or Ombrophobia

When it rains, I’m instantly filled with a sentiment of melancholy. When the clouds build up and turn a sullen shade of gray, I panic. For me, there’s nothing worse than getting drenched by a cold thunderstorm. Although the slicked-back wet hair look works wonders for some, it’s definitely not a winner for me. Plus, I recently watched the Netflix series; The Woman in the House Across the Street from the Girl in the Window, and this has increased my fear of rain tenfold! If you’ve seen it, too, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.

10 Examples Of Text Messages A Narcissist Sends

Narcissists definitely move with the times, which is why many of them constantly troll dating sites for new victims. Chatting with a manipulator of this magnitude can be a rollercoaster experience, with dizzying heights that might lead you to believe you are in love, to gut-wrenching lows which will make you question your worth. For any raving narcissist, text message exchanges are a great way to reel in victims and follow through with their master plans for ultimate control over them. Are you texting someone you suspect to be a narcissist? The examples below could confirm your suspicions.

How Do You Know A Narcissist Is Cheating?

Narcissism is wholly incompatible with healthy relationships, which goes some way in explaining why people with this personality disorder always believe the grass is greener elsewhere. Indeed, fidelity isn’t something they excel in and adds to their exhaustive list of weaknesses alongside their love of manipulation and dishonesty. However, they are so cunning and crafty that catching them out and confirming your intuitions is no easy feat. To make things easier for you, here are the 10 signs you need to look out for if you believe your narcissistic man is cheating on you.

Is A Covert Narcissist Dangerous?

The concept of covert narcissism, or as it’s also known, ‘vulnerable narcissism’ is a fairly recent one. Now, these adjectives may seem pretty harmless, but the reality of these significations couldn’t be any more serious. Indeed, covert and vulnerable provide cloaks of invisibility for textbook narcissists. The truth is covert narcissists present themselves to the world as anxious, socially uncertain, sullen, and withdrawn, yet, in actual fact, they share the same grandiose and unemphatic traits as their exhibitionist counterparts. That’s right, these folks are just as equally skilled in the dark arts of manipulation as overt narcissists, although, they tend to hide their true intentions with more finesse, making them even more dangerous.

Green Flags, Or How To Know If This New Relationship Is Healthy

The beginning of a relationship is often a beautiful time. Discovering the other person, feeling desired, having stars in your eyes and butterflies in your stomach. But all that often masks an inner turmoil: doubts and the multitude of questions we ask ourselves. Have I found the right person? Can I fall in love without fear? What if it’s another toxic relationship? Making a commitment isn’t an easy thing, but now that we’ve learned to spot the red flags, so we don’t get made a fool of again, let’s take a look at the green flags. The good signs that give the green light to a beautiful story!

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

How to detect a narcissist

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde

How to soothe an anxiety attack