How To Successfully Return To Work After Having A Baby

Last updated by Katie M.

Amongst all the things in life that can make us upset and feel down, going back to work after maternity leave is definitely one of them. Farewell mollycoddling, hours of cuddles, and tickles, and instead hello boss and annoying coworkers! Will the feeling of guilt get the better of us? Is your new life compatible with your previous professional one? With so many questions swirling around about the ordeal and challenge of missing your baby, we've decided to offer you some of our best advice to help you get through this tough period.

Contents:

Reconnecting with the world of work and with other adults can be tempting, but leaving your bubble, this little cocoon, can be very nerve-wracking

Do you really have to go back to work afterwards?

Do we really envy those women who manage to detach themselves from their newborn in a matter of weeks after giving birth? Those women who return to work in fighter mode, well-dressed as always, and almost invincible? Yes, maybe a bit… but not really… In fact, every woman does what she is able to and wants to do.

Generally, women go back to work 10 weeks after giving birth. This means leaving a two-and-a-half-month-old baby, and for some people this is just simply unthinkable. The baby is still so small, so fragile… and by that point, you know you are no doubt struggling with separation anxiety! If you have the option to, going on maternity allows you to play for a bit of time. The unfortunate downside to this is that, often, you will no longer be paid your salary. It’s therefore something you have to seriously think about.

>>> Read; So what if I hate working?!

What is the ideal age to send your baby to the crèche or a childminder?

Obviously, babies are human beings, so they are unique and don’t all react in the same way. There are no rules, therefore, but you should still bear a few recommendations in mind. Up until they are 4 months old, the baby is very dependent; they are in a period of fusion. The mother is the baby’s only reference. At about 9 months old, your baby might suffer from separation anxiety. During this period, they are scared of people they don’t recognize and cry as soon as you move away from them.

The ideal time to let your baby be looked after by someone else is therefore when they are between 4 and 9 months old, or older than 9 months.

The 4 best tips to handle being apart from your baby after maternity leave

You don’t just leave one day, like diving into a swimming pool. Separating from your child after maternity leave requires a bit of preparation.

1. Communicating with your baby

However old they are, you must explain to your child what happens and what is going to happen. Tell them what they are going to do during the day and with whom, and always remind them that mummy or daddy will come and pick them up after work.

Don’t skip past the adaptation period, often offered by nurseries or childminders. Ask for one if you aren’t offered it.

2. Look for balance

Reconnecting with the outside world and especially returning to work requires you to re-adapt. When becoming a mother, a woman must reinvent herself and find balance between being a woman, a wife and a mother. Achieving that balance requires energy and causes lots of stress and guilt. So, don’t be afraid to trust your partner, colleagues, boss or a psychiatrist or anyone who knows how to advise you and support you.

Obviously, you can also consider getting your partner to help. They must also learn to balance their life as a man and their new life as a dad. Never forget to work as a team and act like one.

>>> This article might interest you; How to deal with your partner's couvade

3. Take care of yourself

The secret to tackling a scary situation is not only anticipating it, but also physically preparing for it. Before going back to work, take some time out for you, especially since your body has been strained these last few months, and you have to regain self-confidence.

Throw away that dried-up mascara you used twice in three months and go to the hairdressers or do a bit of shopping. You will feel much stronger if you arrive at the office with a new haircut and clothes you feel good in.

4. Focus on your objects

You can’t keep your child with you, but nothing is stopping you, if you feel the need, from taking objects with you that make you feel good. Be careful, we can see you coming; don’t show up at the office with the 30 cm-long cuddly elephant toy, the duvet or the latest photo album! Instead, bring a pair of the baby’s socks, a photo, a little blanket… Whatever it is, take a small item that you enjoy looking at, or crying at (discretely) when you feel a bit down.

>>> Learn how you can keep your teenager busy this summer

Editor's opinion – Don’t feel guilty

Leaving your child with a stranger so that you can get on with your life makes you feel guilty, maybe even extremely guilty. This guilt makes you dread being separated from your child. It might be sad to say and even sadder to hear it, but the life of a mother and her child is based on separation. And that’s fine! It’s good for our child, for us and for our relationships. Our child will grow up, learn and discover on their own, and we will both come back together and share all of these experiences.


🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

You might also be interested in: 

Article presented by
Katie M.

🌻 Discover the world through my eyes.

Read our latest articles here:

What Are The 6 Types Of Narcissism?

There are a whole range of narcissistic personalities out there, and they scale from highly toxic to rather positive (surprising, right?!). That being said, most mental health experts agree that there are 6 types of narcissistic profiles, which whilst they may all be based on an inflated sense of self-esteem, they are in reality all drastically different, and more or less severe. When it comes to dealing with this type of personality disorder, it’s best to know what you are up against, in order to react appropriately, as well as to avoid falling into their traps and becoming their latest victim. After all, knowledge is power, and that’s never be truer than in this particular context.

10 Weird Things Narcissists Do Sexually - Romance Is Dead

As with many things in life, narcissists also have unhealthy relationships with sex and treat it as nothing more than a self-gratifying activity. After all, manipulation, control, and emotional abuse are their so-called trusty weapons that they hide behind in most circumstances, so why wouldn’t they call on them in the bedroom too? The bottom line is people with this personality disorder are used to getting what they want and will only ever put themselves and their pleasure first, which doesn’t bode well for a healthy sex life. 🙈 Discover the weird things narcissists do in the bedroom and what you should do if you are involved with one.

Are Narcissists Born Or Made? - Let's Settle The Debate

There you have it, the nature vs nurture debate is back, only this time I want to focus it on those deviously manipulative personalities we refer to as narcissists. Now, evidently these folks get bad press and rightly so because they are often at the root of plenty of harm, but is it really their fault? Can they really be blamed for their terrifying and perhaps inherent traits, or are they simply just products and in this case victims of their environments? Let’s settle this debate once and for all and figure out how and when this disorder becomes apparent. So, are you born a narcissist or is it developed?

Why Your Boyfriend Gets Defensive When You Talk About My Feelings

Relationships are never exactly straightforward, and at points, a crystal ball wouldn’t go amiss when it comes to understanding what your partner’s reactions are hiding. Now, sadly not all of us own a trusty crystal ball, but our experience when it comes to love is just as precious in analyzing potential pitfalls related to emotions. This may sound a little cliché, but us girls love talking about our feelings, whether that be about when we are falling in love, or when we are feeling sad. Yet some guys get really defensive whenever these serious topics come round, here’s why.

How Long Will A Narcissist Rebound Relationship Last?

Narcissist rebound relationships generally last anywhere from 6-months to a year. Now, whilst the timeframe depends on each individual, these twisted personalities usually head into these relationships with a plan in mind, meaning they know exactly when and where they'll break things off. Plus, when they are in the final stages of a relationship with you, they are no doubt in the process of grooming their next victim. That's right, the need for a constant narcissistic supply means that they aren't likely to date any one person for an extensive period of time. For them, they require fresh blood every 6-months or so because they simply get bored. Let's take a look at the reasons why they keep their rebounds short, but not so sweet.

Is Sleeping With A Colleague Or Your Boss A Dangerous Game?

I’ve had a crush on someone at work before. Honestly, if I hadn’t found out later that he was in a relationship, I’d have gone all out to seduce him. Except that we all know the “No sex at work” rule, which means that it’s a bad idea to sleep with a colleague, or worse, your boss! Is it really that dangerous a game? What do you risk if you’re caught in the act? I’ll explain it all to you (yes, I did my homework before going for it)!

I’m Having Doubts About My Relationship

This happens often. Since life in a relationship, and even love, are never a smooth ride, of course, I have my doubts 😵‍💫. Not on the same wavelength, the impression that the grass is greener on the other side, different plans… Under the weight of doubts, love loses its splendor. Can it be fixed? I don’t think so, but the important thing is to know how to react.

What Is Candaulism?

Now, many of you are no doubt scratching your head wondering what candaulism means, but some of you must already know by now, and that would explain the recent spike in Google searches for the term. Candaulism is in fact a sexual practice in which a man exposes his female partner or photos of her, to other consenting people. This particular fantasy is therefore associated with exhibitionism. Although that’s not all, the term can also apply to a male partner watching his girlfriend or wife making love to someone else. So, let’s take a peep (get it?) at this practice.

Create a Peaceful Living Space

For years, I didn’t really take care of my home. Not that it was dirty, but there was no particular decoration, and most of all, a lot of clutter. Then one day, I decided to do a major decluttering! I thought it would be a dreadful task, but in the end, I realized that organizing my apartment also helped clear my mind. We often overlook this, but having a peaceful living space truly makes a difference!

Mature Love: How Do Relationships Evolve Over Time?

They say that love is like fine wine: it evolves, matures, and becomes even more delightful with time. I say "they say," but in reality, I’m certain of it. Even though I’m single as I write this article, I’ve experienced long-lasting love stories, and there’s nothing quite like reaching mature love—the kind that provides security and support. That’s why today, I want to talk to you about how romantic relationships evolve!



Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist

wengood

  1. Only LoveBen Howard
    4:08
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
    4:55
  4. Beautiful DayU2
    4:08
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
    4:41
  6. White FlagDido
    4:00
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
    4:13
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
    3:17
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
    3:35
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
    4:24
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
    3:07
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
    4:37
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
    3:46
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
    2:17
  15. With Or Without YouU2
    4:56
  16. HelloAdele
    4:55
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
    3:29
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
    3:21
  19. WingsBirdy
    4:12
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar
    3:41

How to detect a narcissist

How to detect a narcissist

How to soothe an anxiety attack

How to soothe an anxiety attack