Does a narcissist feel remorse? - No, narcissists never feel guilty about their actions
If you or anyone you know has ever had the misfortune of being involved with a narcissist, you’ll be able to attest to their lack of guilt and unwillingness to admit their mistakes. Indeed, these folks premeditate their actions and meticulously plot other people’s demise, which means that they initially disregard feelings of guilt and sympathy. After all, for such coldblooded and ruthless personalities to be able to spread their venom, they need to be loosely attached to the concept of regret. The bottom line is, their brains seem to be wired differently, which means they find it impossible to sympathize with others and to understand their emotions and why they could potentially be hurt or offended. In fact, when they are called upon to face the consequences of their actions, they brush off the gravity of the situation and simply continue to go about their business.
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💡 FAQ - Do narcissists apologize? No, they are too proud to say sorry ▼
As someone who has previously been in a relationship with a fully-fledged narcissist, I can definitely confirm that one of the factors which holds them back from apologizing is their pride. Of course, those that suffer from this personality disorder place such importance on putting on the perfect facade, that they associate regret with weakness. Even if they did feel a smudge of guilt towards their victims, they’d never admit it because they constantly believe they are right and would be truly horrified at the thought of their so-called admirers seeing them as feeble.
In my own experience, I am unable to recall my ex ever showing an ounce of compassion or repentance for anything he put me through during our 2-year-long relationship. He never once took it upon himself to utter the word sorry for insulting me, yelling at me, or even spying on me. At the time, and even now as I'm looking back, this, therefore, led me to believe that there are little to no circumstances in which sufferers of NPD would be ashamed of their harmful actions.
Be careful, because they may pretend to feel bad about things
A narcissist's worst nightmare is losing control over their victims because this would ultimately threaten their whole persona and existence. Their desperation to preserve their power means that they will happily say anything in order to keep their victims on their side, including pretending to be sorry and promising they can change in the future. Although it can be hard to look past their charismatic personality and charming promises, it is important to keep in mind that they’ll never change and don’t have the willpower to improve on their innate traits.
Will a narcissist ever realize they were wrong?
No narcissist likes to be wrong. In a conflict, they will always manage to turn the situation around in order to be right, but also and especially to make you out to be wrong. No matter what they have done or what they might be blamed for, others are always guilty of forcing them to behave that way. In short, nothing is ever their fault, and this is how they get ahead, by systematically projecting their faults onto others, without ever taking responsibility.
As a result, everything will always be your fault. This is particularly noticeable in the professional environment, where the narcissistic personality at work will tend to take no responsibility for the mistakes made by their employee. Even if the latter tries to explain that they did not have all the necessary information or that they simply carried out the orders given, nothing will be done, the error will inevitably turn against him.
The narcissist also tends to victimize himself in order to manipulate, especially if he is blamed for something. These personalities will not hesitate to talk about their difficult past and the suffering they have endured in order to make people feel sorry for them. They regularly pose as a victim to avoid being seen as the victimizer they really are.
As a result, their victims will be denigrated and/or accused of having hurt them deeply. They may also frequently accuse you of hurting them, of not understanding them. For them, only their own suffering is legitimate. Victimizing themselves in order to manipulate is also a way for them to control the image they project and to make themselves appreciated by those around them, because the narcissist has a compelling need to show that he is special. Thus, their suffering spread out in front of everyone's eyes allows them to say "look, despite all the injustice I suffer, I'm getting by". This technique not only allows them to be in the spotlight, but also to question your status as a real victim.
💡 FAQ - Do narcissists feel bad for hurting you? ▼
Narcissists typically do not feel genuine remorse for hurting others. Due to their lack of empathy and heightened sense of self-importance, narcissists often have difficulty understanding or caring about the impact of their actions on others. Their primary focus tends to be on their own needs and desires, which can lead them to dismiss or minimize the feelings of those they hurt. While a narcissist might express regret or apologize if it serves their interests or helps them maintain control, these actions are often insincere and motivated by self-preservation rather than true remorse. Understanding this can help you navigate interactions with narcissists and protect your own emotional well-being.
Editor’s opinion — Narcissistic regret is a concept that doesn’t existNow, I don’t want to demonize people with this personality disorder, but it’s crucial to know what they are capable of in order to avoid falling into their trap. If you believe that someone in your entourage is suffering from this personality disorder, the best and safest solution is to cut ties with them, whilst encouraging them to seek professional help.
🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!
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