Do Narcissists Regret Hurting People? - They Don't Acknowledge Guilt

Last updated by Katie M.

From their lack of empathy to their scarily manipulative and controlling streak, narcissists arguably display despicable behavior that simply can’t be condoned. Once these people get their claws into a victim, they become ruthless and have absolutely no regard for the effects their behavior may have on their mental health. Now, as with many syndromes, nothing is black and white with these types of personality disorders. In fact, there are certainly many inaccurate theories regarding their relationship with remorse regarding their actions, and that’s why I’m here to set the record straight.

Do Narcissists Regret Hurting People? - They Don't Acknowledge Guilt
Contents:

No, narcissists never feel guilty about their actions

If you or anyone you know has ever had the misfortune of being involved with a narcissist, you’ll be able to attest to their lack of guilt and unwillingness to admit their mistakes. Indeed, these folks premeditate their actions and meticulously plot other people’s demise, which means that they initially disregard feelings of guilt and sympathy. After all, for such coldblooded and ruthless personalities to be able to spread their venom, they need to be loosely attached to the concept of regret. The bottom line is, their brains seem to be wired differently, which means they find it impossible to sympathize with others and to understand their emotions and why they could potentially be hurt or offended. In fact, when they are called upon to face the consequences of their actions, they brush off the gravity of the situation and simply continue to go about their business.

>>> Discover what narcissists want in a relationship

Do narcissists apologize? No, they are too proud to say sorry

As someone who has previously been in a relationship with a fully-fledged narcissist, I can definitely confirm that one of the factors which holds them back from apologizing is their pride. Of course, those that suffer from this personality disorder place such importance on putting on the perfect facade, that they associate regret with weakness. Even if they did feel a smudge of guilt towards their victims, they’d never admit it because they constantly believe they are right and would be truly horrified at the thought of their so-called admirers seeing them as feeble.

In my own experience, I am unable to recall my ex ever showing an ounce of compassion or repentance for anything he put me through during our 2-year-long relationship. He never once took it upon himself to utter the word sorry for insulting me, yelling at me, or even spying on me. At the time, and even now as I'm looking back, this, therefore, led me to believe that there are little to no circumstances in which sufferers of NPD would be ashamed of their harmful actions.

Be careful, because they may pretend to feel bad about things

A narcissist's worst nightmare is losing control over their victims because this would ultimately threaten their whole persona and existence. Their desperation to preserve their power means that they will happily say anything in order to keep their victims on their side, including pretending to be sorry and promising they can change in the future. Although it can be hard to look past their charismatic personality and charming promises, it is important to keep in mind that they’ll never change and don’t have the willpower to improve on their innate traits.

Will a narcissist ever realize they were wrong?

No narcissist likes to be wrong. In a conflict, they will always manage to turn the situation around in order to be right, but also and especially to make you out to be wrong. No matter what they have done or what they might be blamed for, others are always guilty of forcing them to behave that way. In short, nothing is ever their fault, and this is how they get ahead, by systematically projecting their faults onto others, without ever taking responsibility.

As a result, everything will always be your fault. This is particularly noticeable in the professional environment, where the narcissistic personality at work will tend to take no responsibility for the mistakes made by their employee. Even if the latter tries to explain that they did not have all the necessary information or that they simply carried out the orders given, nothing will be done, the error will inevitably turn against him.

The narcissist also tends to victimize himself in order to manipulate, especially if he is blamed for something. These personalities will not hesitate to talk about their difficult past and the suffering they have endured in order to make people feel sorry for them. They regularly pose as a victim to avoid being seen as the victimizer they really are.

As a result, their victims will be denigrated and/or accused of having hurt them deeply. They may also frequently accuse you of hurting them, of not understanding them. For them, only their own suffering is legitimate. Victimizing themselves in order to manipulate is also a way for them to control the image they project and to make themselves appreciated by those around them, because the narcissist has a compelling need to show that he is special. Thus, their suffering spread out in front of everyone's eyes allows them to say "look, despite all the injustice I suffer, I'm getting by". This technique not only allows them to be in the spotlight, but also to question your status as a real victim.

Editor’s opinion — Narcissistic regret is a concept that doesn’t exist

Now, I don’t want to demonize people with this personality disorder, but it’s crucial to know what they are capable of in order to avoid falling into their trap. If you believe that someone in your entourage is suffering from this personality disorder, the best and safest solution is to cut ties with them, whilst encouraging them to seek professional help.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

Be sure to check out these articles too:

Article presented by Katie M.

🌻 Discover the world through my eyes.

Read our latest articles here:

The Unbearable Habit Of Cutting People Off, Let’s Put A Stop To It!

If there’s one thing I don’t like, it’s getting cut off when I’m talking. I get the impression that what I’m saying is of no importance to the person in front of me. So yes, maybe the person we’re talking to is afraid of forgetting their train of thought and rushes the words out of their mouth, but still. The icing on the cake? It’s when there’s no excuse and it happens all the time. What an unbearable habit cutting people off is!

Friendship Test: How Well Do You Know Your Friends?

One day I learned that one in two friendships wasn’t reciprocal. This figure is quite disturbing, but in the end, it’s not that surprising. When you become an adult, your priorities change, and sometimes you drift apart or make new friends... and forget others! To find out where you stand with your friendships or to get to know each other better, there’s a very effective method: 50 questions to get to know each other by heart and (re)connect.

How Can We Identify Repetitive Patterns And Get Out Of Them?

For a long time, I had the feeling that I was repeating the same mistakes. For example, on more than one occasion, I missed out on a career opportunity. All because I was convinced I was useless… Unfortunately, I bet I’m not the only one to have observed this kind of repetitive pattern. This kind of cycle is vicious, so how do you identify it and get out of it? Now that I’ve learned how to work on it, I’ll explain.

Is Not Giving A Damn The Secret To Happiness? Really?

I often get told to take things less to heart. I admit that as a hypersensitive person, I put my heart and soul into everything. Perhaps a little too much because that tends to generate anxiety. So in the end, is not giving a damn about anything the secret to happiness? Well, I’ve tried to delve into the subject with my research, and it’s not quite as simple as that. Here are some explanations.

Forbidden Love Story

“Deny thy father and refuse thy name; or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I’ll no longer be a Montague.” I think everyone’s guessed where this quote comes from! It is, of course, Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. I’ve always loved this story of forbidden love, and I’m not the only one because this play has stood the test of time. On the other hand, I find it much less enjoyable to experience forbidden love. You don’t know whether it’s better to give up on it or get burnt... I’ll tell you all about it.

I Hate Having My Photo Taken, But Why?

One of my hobbies is photography. You’d think then that I’d be very comfortable in front of the camera, but no! The reason I do photography is to get behind the camera and take photos of other people. Ok, I sometimes take self-portraits, but as soon as someone else takes my photo, I hate it. I know I’m not the only one who feels this way, which is why I’ve decided to talk to you about it today.

Get to know me! 🌻

Our February Challenge: The Month Of Self-Love And Pampering

When we think of February, do we think... icy feet 😬? Okay, it's not particularly known for that (even though it's true). No, when we think of February, Valentine's Day comes to mind. However, this celebration feels too commercial, putting pressure on couples and making singles feel guilty about being solo. So, instead, we thought we could create a little self-care challenge for you.

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist

wengood

  1. Only LoveBen Howard
    4:08
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
    4:55
  4. Beautiful DayU2
    4:08
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
    4:41
  6. White FlagDido
    4:00
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
    4:13
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
    3:15
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
    3:35
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
    4:24
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
    3:07
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
    4:37
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
    3:46
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
    2:19
  15. With Or Without YouU2
    4:56
  16. HelloAdele
    4:55
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
    3:29
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
    3:21
  19. WingsBirdy
    4:12
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar
    3:41

How to detect a narcissist

How to detect a narcissist

How to soothe an anxiety attack

How to soothe an anxiety attack