Do Narcissists Regret Hurting People? - They Don't Acknowledge Guilt

Last updated by Katie M.

From their lack of empathy to their scarily manipulative and controlling streak, narcissists arguably display despicable behavior that simply can’t be condoned. Once these people get their claws into a victim, they become ruthless and have absolutely no regard for the effects their behavior may have on their mental health. Now, as with many syndromes, nothing is black and white with these types of personality disorders. In fact, there are certainly many inaccurate theories regarding their relationship with remorse regarding their actions, and that’s why I’m here to set the record straight.

Do Narcissists Regret Hurting People? - They Don't Acknowledge Guilt
Contents:

No, narcissists never feel guilty about their actions

If you or anyone you know has ever had the misfortune of being involved with a narcissist, you’ll be able to attest to their lack of guilt and unwillingness to admit their mistakes. Indeed, these folks premeditate their actions and meticulously plot other people’s demise, which means that they initially disregard feelings of guilt and sympathy. After all, for such coldblooded and ruthless personalities to be able to spread their venom, they need to be loosely attached to the concept of regret. The bottom line is, their brains seem to be wired differently, which means they find it impossible to sympathize with others and to understand their emotions and why they could potentially be hurt or offended. In fact, when they are called upon to face the consequences of their actions, they brush off the gravity of the situation and simply continue to go about their business.

>>> Discover what narcissists want in a relationship

Do narcissists apologize? No, they are too proud to say sorry

As someone who has previously been in a relationship with a fully-fledged narcissist, I can definitely confirm that one of the factors which holds them back from apologizing is their pride. Of course, those that suffer from this personality disorder place such importance on putting on the perfect facade, that they associate regret with weakness. Even if they did feel a smudge of guilt towards their victims, they’d never admit it because they constantly believe they are right and would be truly horrified at the thought of their so-called admirers seeing them as feeble.

In my own experience, I am unable to recall my ex ever showing an ounce of compassion or repentance for anything he put me through during our 2-year-long relationship. He never once took it upon himself to utter the word sorry for insulting me, yelling at me, or even spying on me. At the time, and even now as I'm looking back, this, therefore, led me to believe that there are little to no circumstances in which sufferers of NPD would be ashamed of their harmful actions.

Be careful, because they may pretend to feel bad about things

A narcissist's worst nightmare is losing control over their victims because this would ultimately threaten their whole persona and existence. Their desperation to preserve their power means that they will happily say anything in order to keep their victims on their side, including pretending to be sorry and promising they can change in the future. Although it can be hard to look past their charismatic personality and charming promises, it is important to keep in mind that they’ll never change and don’t have the willpower to improve on their innate traits.

Editor’s opinion — Narcissistic regret is a concept that doesn’t exist

Now, I don’t want to demonize people with this personality disorder, but it’s crucial to know what they are capable of in order to avoid falling into their trap. If you believe that someone in your entourage is suffering from this personality disorder, the best and safest solution is to cut ties with them, whilst encouraging them to seek professional help.

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