Spotting manipulators, their 10 favorite phrases
Manipulators are toxic people, that’s a fact. Whether they manipulate others, consciously or not, you need to be wary of them because there will be no self-questioning on their part.
Their aim? To get us to do what they want and to control everything. So very often they say things that may seem harmless but are actually manipulative techniques. Clearly, if you hear one of them, it’s a big red flag, and you need to run 🏃♀️!
👋 This article may also help you to spot a manipulator: 10 Signs you are dating a narcissist
1. “You’re the most important person in my life.”
On the face of it, this sentence is really beautiful. It’s usually said at the beginning of a relationship, during the seduction phase. It will never be uttered again afterward, once you’ve been caught in his net. The aim? To create a very strong emotional bond and make us emotionally dependent, all the better to exercise his mental manipulation afterward 😣.
2. “It’s all in your head! You’re making it up, I never said that.”
It will never be the manipulator’s fault, NE-VER. He’ll always make us believe that we’ve misunderstood his own words. Maybe it’s because he’s no longer honoring a promise he made? Or maybe he just doesn’t want to look bad in front of other people? In short, for him, we tell lies, we make things up and he never questions himself.
3. “You drive me crazy.”
When the manipulator is upset, doesn’t get his own way, or whatever, he explodes. They shout threats or insults that are clearly intimidation and psychological violence. As it’s impossible for him to choose his words carefully and calmly express his emotions, he’s violent.
4. “Oh come on, have a laugh, I was only messing.”
Well, yes, why shouldn’t we laugh when we’ve just been belittled or humiliated? What a killjoy we are... Under the guise of a joke or humor, we’ll get it right in the neck. Of course, it’s our fault if we take it the wrong way and are sensitive. As the saying goes, “you laugh WITH the person, but not AT the person”, but that’s something the manipulator has no doubt forgotten 😒...
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5. “Stop crying, that’s enough, you’re too sensitive.”
This sentence can follow on from the previous one, because after being humiliated, we may end up crying and that’s normal. Except that the manipulator is annoyed by our negative emotions or our pain. Since he doesn’t take a step back, for him, we’re just “a crybaby”. This is probably a man who thinks he’s an alpha male and is completely disconnected from his emotions 😅...
6. “Stop looking for trouble.”
When you confront him and tell him what you don’t like, you’re immediately a pain in the ass. For him, you’re looking for trouble and an argument, whereas you’re asking for explanations and a form of compensation. He’s probably forgotten that non-violent communication helps couples to work well and even to be happy. His over-inflated ego doesn’t care about that, it’s all about him.
7. “It’s not bad what you did, but you should have done it like this, it would have been much better.”
The manipulator is incapable of paying a compliment. At least, he starts out nice and positive, but immediately afterwards, there’s the criticism. He often takes advantage of this to big himself up by saying, “I would have done it like that.” As such, he reminds us of his position of superiority while letting us know that we’re just rubbish 😞.
8. “It’s your fault if I feel like that.”
No matter what happens or how he feels, the manipulator blames us for everything that happens to him. He’s angry? It’s our fault! He did his job badly? It’s our fault! Basically, he holds us responsible for even the slightest thing. Except that it’s not up to us to take responsibility for his emotions; everyone’s responsible for their own feelings.
9. “If you really loved me, you’d do this for me.”
Emotional blackmail holds no secrets for the manipulator. He knows exactly how to make us feel guilty and push us to do something we don’t want to do. It’s a manipulative technique that allows him to get everything he wants from us. We’re under his control and to avoid disappointing him, we want to please him...
>>> Read; The signs you are texting a narcissist
10. “The only person you can count on is me.”
Divide and conquer is the manipulator’s strategy. He does this to isolate us from those around us and make us believe that others are toxic for us. We’ll then think that we owe him everything and that he’s there for us, when that’s absolutely not the case. He just makes us believe that he’s the only one who can make us happy, in order to make us even more dependent...
Editor’s note - Above all, protect yourself
Now you know the 10 favorite phrases of manipulators, it’ll be easier for you to respond and destabilize the manipulator by showing him that he doesn’t have the power. But this can be a dangerous game, and you need to be wary. More often than not, getting away is the best option to protect your mental well-being. If you’ve been with a manipulator, or if worse still, you still are, it’s important to get psychological help. A relationship like this leaves scars that shouldn’t be left as they are.
🤗 Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... It’s here and now!
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