What Phrases Do Narcissists Say? - 20 Crushing Statements

Last updated by Katie M.

Narcissists are known for having a certain way with words, these folks certainly use this talent to their advantage, that's to say, to sink their teeth into their victims. Now, these calculating crooks don't use their gift of the gab to build people up, no, of course, they don't! Instead, the opposite is true, they use their smoothness to tear down their victims, destroy their confidence, and isolate them from their loved ones, all whilst brainwashing them and pretending to be the real victim. Wow, I don't know about you, but to me, that seems like a lot of work! Now, as skillful narcissists are, they can't completely dissimulate their true intentions and at points, their tongue betrays them, as you'll soon see in the following quotes. Here's what they typically say to bring people down...

What Phrases Do Narcissists Say? - 20 Crushing Statements

We all know just how convincing smooth talkers can be once they get going, however, when their personalities are utterly toxic, things begin to get dangerous. Narcissists aren't always easy to spot and because of their complex characters, they become real chameleons and often manage to blend into the mass. If, however, you suspect someone of being a narcissist, pay careful attention to what they say, because certain quotes don't lie.

20 Things narcissists frequently say to their victims

If someone you know says the following things, then bingo, you've found yourself a narcissist.

1) 'You are so jealous and insecure'

Along with admiring themselves and their alleged greatness, one of the narcissists' favorite past times is putting down their victims and making them feel bad about themselves. Here, they'll instantly display their lack of empathy and their cruel words will expose them as the toxic person they are deep down. Although people with this serious personality disorder will throw around claims of jealous insecurity, in reality, they are the jealous ones. How ironic!

2) 'You have issues'

Making someone believe they are the problem in the relationship is an important step in the emotional abuse process. By planting the seed that their victims have problems and by regularly repeating this, the person will eventually start to believe what they hear and may even doubt their behavior.

>>> Discover the 10 signs you grew up in a toxic family

3) 'You are crazy'

When a man accuses a woman of being crazy, this should be an instant red flag. Abusers take pleasure in putting this claim on the table as a way of discrediting their victims and fracturing their confidence they'd need to confide in a friend about the abuse they are suffering.

4) 'This is all your fault'

Any self-respecting narcissist loves manipulating reality, to the point where they paint themselves out as being the victim in the situation. That's right, these people have no shame whatsoever and are prepared to change the facts in order to suit them, and therefore drum up sympathy for their cause.

5) 'Listen to me, I'm smarter than you'

Ah, here is the perfect example of narcissistic behavior in full swing. Now, because these folks have such imposing egos, they'll always assume that they are the most intelligent and qualified in the room, no matter who they are up against...

6) 'I love you so much'

Toxic relationships are never totally bad, after all, abusers need to give their victims some false hope to grab on to whilst they are metaphorically destroying them. Yes, you've guessed it, love bombing is one of their go-to techniques.

7) 'I'd never hurt you'

If you've ever been in a relationship with a narcissist, you'll know thanks to hindsight, that the lies never stop, and as time goes on, they become more and more unbelievable. In short, these vindictive snakes will say anything to keep their victims onside.

8) 'Don't be overly sensitive'

For an emotional abuser, downplaying their devious actions is essential, therefore they'll constantly ramrod their prey into believing that they tend to make mountains out of molehills. That's right, it's definitely an example of class gaslighting.

9) 'Your friends are toxic'

In order to successfully manipulate someone to the point where they are willing to listen to your every demand, you need to cut them off from exterior distractions who are likely to see through the facade.

10) 'You look fat/ugly in that'

Aren't these toxic folks just full of lovely compliments? In order to remain in control, they certainly won't hesitate to make cutting remarks, destined to burn our self-confidence to the ground.

11) 'You need to calm down'

Narcissistic abuse often involves making victims believe that they are completely overacting whenever they are faced with a typically enormous problem, meaning in reality, they aren't overacting whatsoever...

>>> Discover the things a narcissist will say to get you back

12) 'If you do that, I'll leave you'

When a narcissist has completely isolated their victim from their entourage, they'll start threatening to leave them, as a way of strengthening their hold over them. Here, victims will feel utterly terrified about having to face life totally alone.

13) 'You're nothing without me'

The criticism will continue and become even more troubling and menacing. Here, the goal is to convince their victim that they need to stick around because they'll never find anything or anyone better...

14) 'I can see why no one likes you'

Having a narcissist in your life constantly exposes you to vile remarks that are carefully crafted to break your soul and make you feel bad about yourself. The worse these perpetrators make you feel, the less likely you'll be to leave them.

15) 'Oh, poor you...'

<Activate sarcastic mode> Well, of course, because these guys have no sympathy for anyone other than themselves.

16) 'You need to learn to communicate better'

Skillful manipulators will have their victims believe that they are in fact the architects of all their relationship problems. That's right, folks with this personality disorder will blame shift and pinpoint your communication skills as being the reason why you don't get along.

17) 'My ex hurt me, please don't do the same'

The scary truth is that these manipulators will often present themselves as wolves in sheepskin. They'll claim to have been hurt in previous relationships, in the hope that their terrible experiences are enough to excuse their disgusting behavior.

18) 'You are a bad person'

Now, this is the ultimate blow to any shred of self-esteem and is unsurprisingly very effective in convincing people that they are utterly worthless.

>>> Read about the mind games narcissists use

19) 'I didn't mean it like that'

Whenever a narcissist's victim becomes too hysterical or rebellious for their liking, they'll instantly attempt to manipulate the situation by insisting that the events have been misinterpreted.

20) 'I want to change'

Oh, here's another lie for you. Now, we all know deep down that a narcissist is incapable of changinghowever, this doesn't prevent them from promising to do so...

💡Extra insights💡 Narcissist playing victim quotes

Narcissists often use manipulative strategies to elicit sympathy and draw attention to themselves. Here are some examples of phrases that narcissists frequently use to present themselves as victims, in order to manipulate those around them and gain sympathy or support.

  • "I always do my best to help others, but no one seems to recognize my efforts."
  • "People are so jealous of me that they constantly try to put me down."
  • "I feel so alone and misunderstood, no one really knows what I'm going through."
  • "I'm constantly criticized and mistreated by others, even when I do nothing to deserve it."
  • "Everyone takes me for granted and takes advantage of my kindness without ever giving anything in return."

What is the #1 word a narcissist cannot stand?

The word a narcissist despises the most is undeniably ‘no’. Although the word ‘no’ is very short and only composed of two letters, it has the power to drive these personalities absolutely crazy. Whilst ‘no’ may seem pretty harmless, for narcissistic people, it is in fact a method of opposition and contributes to their victims standing up for themselves. That’s right, these folks absolutely despise hearing this word because they hate being contradicted and like to get their own way 100% of the time. In fact, ‘no’ can be so triggering for them that some of them, (depending on their degree of narcissism), can spiral out of control upon hearing it and become even more devious.

Editor's opinion - Don't fool for their apologies

The truth is, narcissists will say and do anything to remain in their position of power, including making false apologies and excuses. They don't want their world to come crashing down, which makes them extremely dangerous when they feel threatened. They use their words as weapons, but that's not to say you need to be afraid of them. With the right support and guidance, you'll be able to free yourself from the grips of these torturers and move towards true happiness.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!


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How to detect a narcissist?

How to detect a narcissist?

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde