Can You Have A Healthy Relationship With A Narcissist?

Last updated by Katie M.

I’ve always been very open with my dating history, so if you’ve read some of my other articles, you’ll probably already know that, none of my relationships have ever fulfilled me, or even made me feel good about myself. In fact, since dating my most recent partner, who was by the way a raging narcissist, I’ve decided that I need to take a break from love, and instead, spend more time on finding myself. How did I get to this point? Well, when I was with my ex, no matter how hard I tried, our love disintegrated, well at least for me, it did. I can now firmly say that all the tears, arguments, and pain have taught me that loving someone with narcissistic tendencies will only ever end in disaster, and I’m about to share why.

Can You Have A Healthy Relationship With A Narcissist?
Contents:

Walking away from my psychologically abusive ex was probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do in my adult life. It took all the courage and strength that I had, but despite how terrifying I found the prospect of moving on, I knew that if I wanted to preserve my mental health, it was necessary. That leads me to where I am today, yep, that’s right, I’m the self-titled Bridget Jones of my friendship group, and surprisingly I couldn’t be happier! So, I bet you’re wondering why I’ve decided to pick at old wounds, right? Well, now that I feel stronger than ever, I want to warn other empaths, like myself, about the dangers of narcissistic abuse.

5 Reasons why a relationship with a narcissist will only ever be toxic

A healthy relationship is a foreign concept to them because…

1) Your intentions are different

I don’t want to sound brutal, or even too pessimistic, but dating a narcissist will never work out because their intentions are impure. These folks are unfortunately incapable of loving anyone but themselves, and will only ever feign interest in people they believe could be useful to them, or fun to manipulate. Their feelings are never genuine, which means they’ll have plenty of leeway to play with you as they so please. Whilst their partners are looking for love and a true connection, these abusive parasites are looking for someone whom they can emotionally abuse.

2) You’ll never be important for a narcissist

The harsh truth is that these personalities only care about one thing, and that’s themselves. No matter what you do, or how many efforts you make, this will never change and because they lack empathy, they’ll never even take you into consideration for a second. Now, that’s not to say that from time to time they won’t turn on the charm in an effort to convince you that you are special to them. They may resort to this tactic, but, in reality, it’s just another example of their gaslighting and love bombing behavior, which helps them go undetected, and to get their own way.

3) The control becomes unbearable

You might believe that you have strong boundaries in place, but remember that no challenge is too intimidating for your narcissistic partner. In fact, the more challenging something seems, the more determined they become to prove their victims wrong, and that includes your parameters to protect yourself. They will eventually decide who you can see, who you can talk to, and in the most extreme cases, what you can wear. Even people with good self-esteem will find themselves falling victim to their manipulation.

4) The concessions will be unequal

For any relationship to work, sacrifices need to be made on both sides, or should I say any healthy relationship? When it comes to these toxic personalities, their strong sense of self and grandiose egos mean they are totally unwilling, and perhaps even incapable, of compromising. In short, they believe they are always right, and that they have the best ideas; so why would they ever change their minds on anything?

5) Communication is impossible

Good news, bad news, and everything in between will leave these toxic personalities indifferent. In fact, discussing feelings and emotions with these folks is a real trigger for them, and often brings out the worst in them. Knowing what’s going on in their head is mission impossible, which is why they are so unpredictable and dangerous.

Is it possible to live with a narcissist and be happy?

Living with someone who has a narcissistic personality is a big ask and can be very challenging on a daily basis. If your living arrangements mean you are in close proximity to a narcissist, it’s likely that you have already fallen victim to their abusive ways, which evidently makes being happy a complicated task. When these vicious creatures feel safe, this is when they are at their worst. When they feel comfortable in their environment, they really believe they can lay down the law and do as they please. Plus, in the privacy of their own homes, they can inflict even more pain and emotional trauma on their victims. Behind closed doors, they'll insult, abuse, criticize, and make the lives of their victims miserable and unbearable...

Is it lonely to be married to a narcissist?

Being married to a narcissist can be an incredibly lonely experience. Narcissists are often self-centered and lack empathy for others, which can leave their spouse feeling unimportant and unappreciated. They also tend to manipulate and control those around them, leaving their spouse feeling trapped and isolated. In addition, the constant need for validation and admiration from the narcissistic partner can leave their spouse feeling drained and emotionally depleted. Despite being in a relationship, the spouse of a narcissist may feel incredibly alone and unsupported, as the narcissist's focus is always on themselves. Overall, being married to a narcissist can be a lonely and emotionally exhausting experience.

Editor’s opinion — It will only ever end in tears

No matter how much we like to convince ourselves of it being false, narcissists will never change, and are unable to give us the love and care many of us are looking for. They are self-serving, opportunity grabbers who are interested in founding healthy relationships. Now, we have to give them credit for their acting talents. But, regardless of how convincing they are with regard to their feelings, we need to keep in mind that they are master manipulators, and will say anything to get their own way…

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

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I finally have to accept at my 8th year anniversary that I'm married to a narcissist and he said on our anniversary 7/10/2023: "I'm done with you"! And call me crazy! Other than the hurling and silent treatment he will try to distort truth and even abuse my mom who don't even speak English to apologize to him and he said even my mom agrees with him that she doesn't know how to teach me! His mother only said good things about her son! I told her how he treated me instead of consoling me or talk to her son, she said you should be more loving and patient and considerate to her son because he work 60-80 hours. I should just tolerate and swallow in silence of the emotional abuse and financial abuse! This is 8th year marriage with 3 little kids I gave up my everything law firm my career as a lawyer and no job no money no access to his money only a credit card that he can control and turn it off if he's pissed with me! I'm living in constant fear when he decides to chase me out of the house! Or he knows I won't leave because I have nothing now! I went to church the pastor preached that I should not have pride and should forgive! I still tried to forgive and forget but he won't barge and held on to grudges that happened when we married that I pulled the blanket away from him! I complained about him spending too nchb money to buy me flowers he said he will Never buy me any flowers! He called me liar and I told him he and his mom are liars! He said I cursed his mom! He will twist all the things he said about me. I craved a happy marriage and connection with him all these years! It's all facade and now only I knew it'll never happened no matter hkw hard I try! I just started to do my online shopping mall biz I don't know when can I make enough money to leave and to bring my kids along with me and end this relationship! We've not talk in the same home with 3 little kids and he's sleeping in a different room like stranger to each other! He yelled at me in front of his parents and his sister when they visited us a month ago! He told me that day you think I'll forget about it. He is very good in holding grudges. I wish I can just leave. I wish I have money to go! I wish I can be bold enough to bring my kids and go! I just can't right now! He won't go to any therapy he said is embarrassing because I will be complaining about him the whole time.

Meng Meng a year ago

Read our latest articles here:

Are Narcissists Born Or Made? - Let's Settle The Debate

There you have it, the nature vs nurture debate is back, only this time I want to focus it on those deviously manipulative personalities we refer to as narcissists. Now, evidently these folks get bad press and rightly so because they are often at the root of plenty of harm, but is it really their fault? Can they really be blamed for their terrifying and perhaps inherent traits, or are they simply just products and in this case victims of their environments? Let’s settle this debate once and for all and figure out how and when this disorder becomes apparent. So, are you born a narcissist or is it developed?

Standing Up To A Narcissist Is Possible If You Follow These 9 Steps

If you’re anything like me, you’re no doubt sick of being manipulated and humiliated by the narcissistic vampires that surround you. Enough is enough! The time has come for you to stand up for yourself! No matter who is making you feel bad about yourself; you need to flip the tables and take back the power. Psychological abuse has deep and lasting impacts, but turning the page and moving on is the healthiest thing any victim can do. Here are 9 essential tips on how you can defend yourself against a narcissistic pervert.

Am I Too Demanding Of My Partner And Too Tough On Him?

Excessive expectations, intense routines and warped images of relationships often make our love stories difficult to manage and maintain. A relationship is one of life’s greatest balancing acts and requires compromises to be made regularly. In short, one cannot be too demanding or severe with their partner if they want a smooth sailing union. Being so tough is a way of testing our partner's feelings for us, yet this can lead to extremely toxic behavior. Although, thanks to our tips, you'll know how to turn things around.

Female Masturbation

That’s right, masturbation isn’t exclusively reserved for men, and us girls can enjoy the benefits of this practice too. It may seem like a very taboo subject, although over time it is becoming more and more talked about online, but that’s not to say that women feel comfortable with the idea… Many women run away from this pleasure and refuse to take care of themselves because they feel a cocktail of shame, fear, and embarrassment. Masturbation is all about self-care and making love to your body, and it’s one that no one should feel too guilty to practice.

Who Do Narcissists Target?

If reading up on narcissists terrifies you, you probably already realize how dangerous their toxic personalities can be. Although, that being said, I’m probably going to add to the list of reasons as to why you should be ultra wary of these abusers, by revealing who they prey on. One thing that can be said about narcissists is that they certainly aren’t predictable people! 😱 Plus, spoiler alert, they don’t necessarily always choose to emotionally abuse seemingly weak people, no, in fact, they often choose bigger fish to fry because they love a challenge. Discover the types of personalities they hone in on and why.

Overinflated Ego

“No, but in any case, I’m better than you.” Honestly, who likes hearing this kind of sentence? Sometimes, it’s not put so bluntly, but clearly, if we read between the lines, that’s what is meant. An overinflated ego is what defines a megalomaniac, along with a need to put yourself before others… Dealing with a megalomaniac isn’t easy, especially when it’s a daily occurrence! So, if you want a peaceful life, discover the true meaning of this disorder, and follow our tips to making this relationship just that little more bearable.

Should You Really Confess Your Feelings?

Who hasn’t had a crush in their life? You know, it’s when you fall for someone and have feelings for them even though you don’t really know them. I’m one of those people who have had lots of crushes, and sometimes I’ve even admitted my feelings. In fact, a recent example was just before I started my relationship with my current partner. I offloaded what I was feeling all of a sudden… I’ll tell you why I did it and how to go about it.

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You probably know by now that narcissists only ever look for one thing and one thing only; and that’s control! Whether in their personal or professional life, folks with this personality disorder need to be in the driving seat and the one calling the shots, otherwise all hell breaks loose. 😨 Although their cunning and manipulative nature means they are often hard to escape, it is still possible to turn the tables on them and take the upper hand. Yet, you’ll need a thick skin to do so because when they feel their power slipping away, they become even more dangerous and abusive; here’s how they react when that happens.

I Still Suck My Thumb As An Adult

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Are Narcissists Lonely?

Loneliness is one of society’s biggest enemies, and none of us are exempt from it, not even the most devilish of narcissists out there. In fact, throughout the Coronavirus pandemic, 36% of Americans claimed that they have never felt lonelier, which sets a scary benchmark for the wider population 😔. Now, lots of us would no doubt immediately assume that narcissists are too independent and strong-willed to feel alone, however, the truth is they are often the biggest victims of loneliness, yet simply have trouble expressing their inner malaise.



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