Walking away from my psychologically abusive ex was probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do in my adult life. It took all the courage and strength that I had, but despite how terrifying I found the prospect of moving on, I knew that if I wanted to preserve my mental health, it was necessary. That leads me to where I am today, yep, that’s right, I’m the self-titled Bridget Jones of my friendship group, and surprisingly I couldn’t be happier! So, I bet you’re wondering why I’ve decided to pick at old wounds, right? Well, now that I feel stronger than ever, I want to warn other empaths, like myself, about the dangers of narcissistic abuse.
5 Reasons why a relationship with a narcissist will only ever be toxic
A healthy relationship is a foreign concept to them because…
1) Your intentions are different
I don’t want to sound brutal, or even too pessimistic, but dating a narcissist will never work out because their intentions are impure. These folks are unfortunately incapable of loving anyone but themselves, and will only ever feign interest in people they believe could be useful to them, or fun to manipulate. Their feelings are never genuine, which means they’ll have plenty of leeway to play with you as they so please. Whilst their partners are looking for love and a true connection, these abusive parasites are looking for someone whom they can emotionally abuse.
2) You’ll never be important for a narcissist
The harsh truth is that these personalities only care about one thing, and that’s themselves. No matter what you do, or how many efforts you make, this will never change and because they lack empathy, they’ll never even take you into consideration for a second. Now, that’s not to say that from time to time they won’t turn on the charm in an effort to convince you that you are special to them. They may resort to this tactic, but, in reality, it’s just another example of their gaslighting and love bombing behavior, which helps them go undetected, and to get their own way.
3) The control becomes unbearable
You might believe that you have strong boundaries in place, but remember that no challenge is too intimidating for your narcissistic partner. In fact, the more challenging something seems, the more determined they become to prove their victims wrong, and that includes your parameters to protect yourself. They will eventually decide who you can see, who you can talk to, and in the most extreme cases, what you can wear. Even people with good self-esteem will find themselves falling victim to their manipulation.
4) The concessions will be unequal
For any relationship to work, sacrifices need to be made on both sides, or should I say any healthy relationship? When it comes to these toxic personalities, their strong sense of self and grandiose egos mean they are totally unwilling, and perhaps even incapable, of compromising. In short, they believe they are always right, and that they have the best ideas; so why would they ever change their minds on anything?
5) Communication is impossible
Good news, bad news, and everything in between will leave these toxic personalities indifferent. In fact, discussing feelings and emotions with these folks is a real trigger for them, and often brings out the worst in them. Knowing what’s going on in their head is mission impossible, which is why they are so unpredictable and dangerous.
Editor’s opinion — It will only ever end in tears
No matter how much we like to convince ourselves of it being false, narcissists will never change, and are unable to give us the love and care many of us are looking for. They are self-serving, opportunity grabbers who are interested in founding healthy relationships. Now, we have to give them credit for their acting talents. But, regardless of how convincing they are with regard to their feelings, we need to keep in mind that they are master manipulators, and will say anything to get their own way…
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