I Don’t Have Any Close Friends, But Is That A Problem?

Last updated by Katie M.

Don’t get the wrong idea, it’s not that I spend my days alone, tucked away in my corner, without saying a word. I do in fact have a couple of people I can call if I want to go out for a drink, but I don't really have what I could class as close girlfriends, or a ‘second family’ as some say. Why is this? Have I been doing something wrong over the years that’s been pushing people away? Is it my bad temper that repels people? Or, is it more a case of life getting in the way and pushing us apart? That being said, can not having hundreds of pals really constitute to a serious problem or mean you are odd?

I Don’t Have Any Close Friends, But Is That A Problem?

Contents:

Over time, acquaintances have replaced real friends

In the schoolyard, I made friends in no time at all. A brief presentation was enough for us, then we make up our secret handshake and the deal was done. We’d remain there for each other until death do us part, or more realistically until the end of high school.

Then came college, with its classes of 150 students (whose names I never remembered) and its 30 hours of shared lectures, whilst all the students sat in silence, before leaving each one alone. It’s true, as we grow up, we develop a certain mistrust towards others, when it's not a matter of rivalry between girls, or a difficulty to open up with those you don't know very well, it's hard to forge ties!

Friends

Today as an adult, I don't have any friends, although for my that means that I don’t have people I consider as my sisters, like lots of people around me. But, I’m not exactly lonely either because I have a lot of people I chat with at work, at the coffee shop, or while practicing my hobbies. Plus, I never seem to spend a Saturday night alone, crying into a tub of ice cream.

>>> Discover the 10 signs your friendships aren't healthy

Whose fault is it? Are my actions to blame?

Certain folks often find themselves wind up with no friends because they are simply unfriendly. They’re always grumbling, judging others and dwelling on details. They are probably too closed-minded to even start a conversation, which all in all makes them hard to approach... Their company is neither recommended nor desired, although, the good news is that it can be worked on.

I could also have no close girlfriends out of choice, especially if I am an introverted solitary being, with selfish tendencies. Like people who have chosen to remain single, I like to do things my own way and I don't need anyone else. I prefer to go to the mall alone and at my own pace. At the theater or in a restaurant, I often feel better off without the presence of someone constantly talking to me.

If I don’t find myself in any of these cases, then it may also be that I have difficulties to reach out to others. Perhaps shyness gets the better of me and that I need to work on my self-esteem too? But for that too, there are therapies.

>>> Read up on our tips to make new friends as an adult

To grow up is to create one's own life...

It is in this sense that I've decided not to blame myself... Now that I have become an adult, I am able to realize that it is not a serious problem if I want to distance myself from others. Everyone has their own life and their own occupations!

The secret of happiness is to rely on yourself and follow your own desires. I settled in a city that I like and chose to step out of my comfort zone. I also chose my job and my activities according to what I liked and what I was good at. For me, this is the best way to avoid disappointment.

Thanks to my partner (who, by the way, often involves me into his circle of pals) or my close family, I am never really alone. I can't predict who I will talk to later, and whether the people I've been with for a drink afterwards will be the same ones tomorrow.

>>> Find out what I do when I feel lonely

What are the effects of not having friends? - Feeling lonely is bad for your health

Moreover, whether it is intended or not, the absence of social interactions can have negative physical and moral impacts. People feel less lonely and sad when they have people to spend time with. Similarly, stressful times and difficult periods are more bearable when you have friends to rely on. It has even been proven that being socially active can lead to a longer and better life. How does this work? Well, quite simply by reducing heart problems and the risk of cancer, among other things. In addition, being able to go out with friends from time to time and have fun contributes to fulfillment and happiness. It is even thought that it can also have beneficial effects on cognitive functions.

The editor’s opinion - You really only have two close friends

Today, more and more people recognize that they don't have "real" friends beyond their social network contacts. The accumulation of false ties is at the expense of closer friendships. Dr. Will Reader, PhD in Psychology, points out that ‘when friendships are born outside the virtual world, the virtual world can help maintain relationships, but real connections are scarce and valuable. That's why it's important to take a step toward reaching out to others and return to simple, sincere relationships.’

In any case, don't feel guilty because most adults only have two close friends and this doesn't make them weird or odd. Life is made up of encounters, and we must take advantage of the present moment and enjoy time with the people who are on our paths.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

The following content might interest you:

Article presented by Katie M.

🌻 Discover the world through my eyes.

Read our latest articles here:

Female Covert Narcissists

It’s time to set the record straight, although male narcissists typically get a lot of flack, yet, female covert narcissists are just, if not even more dangerous than the guys. These women are the definition of devious and know how to wrap people around their little fingers without anyone ever really catching on to their behavior and conniving ways. 🦹‍♀️ They are a force to be reckoned with and certainly never back down from the challenge of breaking someone’s soul. Here are insights into how to identify a female covert narcissist and how to deal with one.

Do We Always Need To Have The Last Word?

Today, I’m focussing on a habit that drives me crazy: wanting to have the last word. It’s probably because I’m not very good at comebacks or self-confident enough that I’m both fascinated and annoyed by people who always want to be right. But why do they always want to have the last word? What’s behind it?

Is My Mom A Narcissist? 10 Things Narcissistic Mothers Do

Do you remember back in the day when you were a teen and constantly fought with your parents, and in particular your mom? Whether it was because you wanted to stay out past your curfew or chose to parade around in your new miniskirt, many of us have faced constant battles with our mothers. However, for those of us dealing with a narcissistic mom, the problems don’t stop when we finish puberty, no, in fact, they stick with us throughout our lives and make it impossible for us to establish a healthy relationship with the person who brought us into the world. Now, if the scenarios below seem all too familiar, then you might just have been raised by a narcissist.

Do We Have To Love Our Parents?

When we’re little, we love them unconditionally and do anything to seek their affection. Our parents are our role models, our inspiration, our protection. Then, when puberty kicks in, and we become teenagers, war sometimes breaks out. This is all very normal, but once the period of hormones and braces has passed, it’s not always a given to love your parents, and that’s okay, plus admitting it feels fantastic!

The 10 Weak Points Of A Narcissist Revealed

Each one of us has our own weaknesses that hold us back in life; be it at work or in relationships. However, on a more positive note, most of us have the will to work on them and transform them. That being said, once narcissists are brought into the picture, the idea that they want to work on their weaknesses doesn’t exactly seem feasible. For a deeper understanding of these narcissists and more insights into the workings of their minds, discover their weak spots and which pointers they struggle with on a daily basis, yet aren't willing to admit or work on 👎.

What Are The Traits Of A Narcissist?

Whether it’s your boss, your partner, or even a family member; we are all very likely to come into contact with what’s known as a narcissistic at one point or another. Now, we hear so much about them and especially about how dangerous they can be for us, so how can we be prepared to avoid falling into a destructive spiral with one? Well, the best solution to avoid plunging into precarious territory with one, is knowing how to recognize their narcissistic characteristics. Indeed, all types of narcissists exhibit common behavioral traits and attitudes, so without further ado, let’s explore them and learn to spot them.

10 Weird Things Narcissists Do Sexually - Romance Is Dead

As with many things in life, narcissists also have unhealthy relationships with sex and treat it as nothing more than a self-gratifying activity. After all, manipulation, control, and emotional abuse are their so-called trusty weapons that they hide behind in most circumstances, so why wouldn’t they call on them in the bedroom too? The bottom line is people with this personality disorder are used to getting what they want and will only ever put themselves and their pleasure first, which doesn’t bode well for a healthy sex life. 🙈 Discover the weird things narcissists do in the bedroom and what you should do if you are involved with one.

I Still Suck My Thumb As An Adult

In general, thumb sucking ends around the age of 6. I say “in general” and not “normally”, because as an adult I don’t feel weird or particularly bothered by it. When I get stressed, I allow myself to let go and return to my childhood self by sucking my thumb. Those who know about it or catch me by surprise make me realize I should be ashamed… But is this habit a big deal? What if it makes me feel better? It’s certainly no worse than lighting up a cigarette or biting your nails…

Signs A Narcissist Is Playing Mind Games With You And What To Do

People with narcissistic personality disorders love playing games because it reinforces their sense of control and validates their need to pull the strings. Now, the idea of playing games may seem fairly harmless and innocent, but the truth could be further away from the reality when these manipulative personalities are involved. 😱 Indeed, narcissists are always one step ahead of the rest of us, which makes it difficult to recognize when they are toying with people. So, to open your eyes to what they are truly capable of, discover the lengths they’ll go to, to remain on top.

Can A Narcissist Become Obsessed With Someone?

Now, narcissists are known for demonstrating a worrying lack of empathy along with deviously manipulative traits, oh, and before I forget to mention it, HUGE egos too 😈. Yes, that’s right, they love spending hours looking in the mirror and being told how fabulous they are. To put it in other words, people with this personality disorder are firmly in love with themselves, to the point of being totally obsessed with their so-called perfection, but the question is, can they put their self-admiration aside enough to become preoccupied with someone else? If, on the other hand, you're looking to get a narcissist hooked on you, you're in the right place with these tips.



Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist

wengood

  1. Only LoveBen Howard
    4:08
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
    4:55
  4. Beautiful DayU2
    4:08
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
    4:41
  6. White FlagDido
    4:00
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
    4:13
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
    3:17
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
    3:35
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
    4:24
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
    3:07
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
    4:37
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
    3:46
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
    2:17
  15. With Or Without YouU2
    4:56
  16. HelloAdele
    4:55
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
    3:29
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
    3:21
  19. WingsBirdy
    4:12
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar
    3:41

How to detect a narcissist

How to detect a narcissist

How to soothe an anxiety attack

How to soothe an anxiety attack