Why Do Couples No Longer Fight To Save Their Relationships?

Last updated October 18, 2022 by Katie M.

Seeing the number of couples who divorce or separate around us, a legitimate question arises and that is; do we fight less than previous generations to save our relationships? At the first sign of trouble, many of us seem willing to give up and move on to fresher pastures in the love department, that's right, we tend to believe that the grass is greener elsewhere. Is it because we were never truly head over heels for our partner? And, is it naïve to think that love can be everlasting?

1 couple = 2 people and a multitude of challenges

Now we know, more or less, that the perfect parent does not exist, yes, but what about the perfect spouse? It seems impossible to take on a life as a couple, without having to face some challenges together. Today, couples must continue to seduce each other, to make each other smile, to share passion, to communicate, to be partners in crime and to have regular and satisfying sex, that is to say, enjoyment for all, several times a week. All this, without forgetting both partner’s respective careers, the education of the children, managing the budget of the house and the sharing of household chores. Uh... did I really sign up for all this?

Can a relationship survive without fighting?

Yes, I really signed up for all that, but it goes without saying that it was written in the small print of the contract, because at the base, a relationship signifies love and the will to create and accomplish things together, as well as the will to blossom on a personal level. Individualism is a notion that has become very important in our society today. It is necessary to blossom, to take care of one's well-being, to follow one's dreams and to seek one's own happiness. In short, self-satisfaction takes a great place, and it sometimes confronts the classic image of the couple and the family. All the difficulties that can be encountered within a relationship jeopardize this search for happiness and self-satisfaction. The result is that one partner eventually wants to move on, to give up, to make no effort rather than trying to save one's relationship. It is in fact very similar to the way we consume. We are constantly looking for a simple and quick pleasure to satisfy us. It is therefore impossible to be satisfied with a partner who does not correspond to the image we have of the ideal spouse.

Are we really still committed for life?

As the evolution of morals obliges, today marriage is no longer an obligation, or a mandatory passage. Also, the access to divorce is more and more facilitated, so this begs the question as to why should we be stubborn and stay in a relationship that makes us unhappy? Especially since sometimes, after the honeymoon period when the passion and devotion are at a high, we no longer really imagine ourselves committing ourselves for life, supporting our partner and making concessions in order to move forward together. Indeed, we prefer to think of our own fleeting feelings and at times to take the easy way out.

How do you know when to stop trying to save a relationship?

Love is worth fighting for, however, when you feel that it is in vain, and you oscillate between hope and discouragement, you get exhausted, and sometimes you wonder if your tenacity isn't just stubbornness. Is it time to go on your way alone?

Your feelings have faded - If you feel like you're fading away when you're with your man, while other areas of your life are vibrant, it's because the feelings may have dissipated for good.

You no longer understand each other - Despite your best efforts to understand each other, you've obviously gone your separate ways. You've both changed, but not together. Furthermore, you have evolved on your own, and you have become strangers to each other: don't be disappointed, because this means that you were not yet sufficiently yourselves when you met.

You're the only one fighting - If you can't stop fighting each other, or worse, if you are the only one fighting for your relationship, in front of a spouse who is content with the situation as it is, you won't manage to get out of your problems. Maybe you need to think about getting out of the situation in order to preserve yourself. You deserve someone who will fight for you, just as you fight for them.

Editor's note - How can you save your love when everything seems lost?

Paradoxically, it is incredible to see the number of Google searches on the theme "saving your relationship". Obviously, not everyone is ready to give up, and many are still looking to build and rebuild on the foundations of their couple. Why? Because it is truly the only path that leads to happiness in love. It is an illusion to think that a life as a couple is a simple life. No life is simple, and in love there are no exceptions. Love is not everything, and it requires effort, pain and sacrifices.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

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