I No Longer Want To Be Intimate, How Do I Get My Sex Drive Back?

Are you in the situation where you no longer want to make love, or no longer feel attracted to your partner? Yet, despite it being out of your control, you constantly feel guilty? Relationships go through a variety of ups and downs and at times, these seem to coincide with our desire towards our partner. Sex is undeniably one of the most important parts of a relationship and helps us to express our love for each other, which is why it's important to act fast when our libidos drop off the scale.

10 Ways to boost your libido

1. Discuss the problem with your partner.

As with any relationship problem, it’s best to start with a discussion that will help identify the problem. If the disorder has a medical origin, the best solution is to consult a doctor.

2. Relax and stop putting too much pressure on yourself.

Sources of stress can have a negative impact on your appetite for love making. Working out to let off steam or even sophrology are good ways to release stress.

>>> Discover our selection of the 15 most romantic quotes.

3. Rest up and recover.

Fatigue is one of the most common factors in a low sex drive. When we are tired, sleep is our only goal.

4. Don't force yourself into doing things you don't want to.

You may feel guilty or even panicked that your partner might eventually go elsewhere. This worry may make you do certain things just so you don't disappoint them or lose them. By forcing yourself to please them, you may become more lost and create more discomfort for yourself. So, avoid forcing yourself and learn to say no!

5. Gain self-confidence and learn to like yourself.

If you are not comfortable in your body, or, if you lack self-confidence, it’s difficult to feel sexy. Focusing on your complexes or even suffering from dysmorphia could lead you to think that your partner doesn't want you anymore. Your partner must play a role in reassuring you in order to help you to feel good about yourself!

6. Talk about it around your friends.

Sexuality remains a taboo subject, and the loss of libido even more so! And yet, the best way to solve it is by talking about it and listening to the advice of those who have also experienced it. You'll be surprised how common this issue really is.

7. Spice up your sex life.

Suggest new sexual experiences to your significant other and share your ideas! Desire is also in the atmosphere, so, learn how to kiss in different ways, dare to try new ways to make the passion rise!

8. Create a craving.

It's important to keep a certain distance to better regain the desire to be with the other person. It's well known that desire increases with distance. 

9. Break the boring routine.

After months or even years with your partner, a certain routine will have certainly set in. Don't hesitate to surprise your partner by changing up your look, for example, or by taking time together away from work and daily life. Dare to take your partner to new places, or even treat yourself to a candlelit meal… Finding time for each other is a secret for lasting relationships.

10. Don't hesitate to consult a sex therapist.

If the lack of sex is putting a strain on your relationship, don't hesitate to call a sex therapist. This is a moment that offers a break and allows you to ask yourself the real questions to free yourself from your emotions.

What causes a sudden decrease in sex drive? - 4 Questions to ask yourself

Loss of interest in sex is often related to stress, fatigue, or concerns in your relationship. But sometimes it can be a sign of an underlying medical problem. Here are some of the common causes of low libido and what you can do about it.

1. Are there problems in your relationship?

Relationship problems are one of the most common causes of low libido. Lack of communication or routine often cause a loss of libido too. If you've been with your partner for a long time, the passion of the early days may have faded, which can sometimes have a negative impact on your sex drive.

2. Do you have mental health problems?

If you do, you're not alone: 25% of the European population suffers from depression or anxiety each year, which can affect your sex drive. One study found that more than 33% of men and nearly 42% of women with depression reported a lack of desire, even when not taking antidepressants. Your mental health status can influence all aspects of life, and additional pressure to perform sexually will not help you get better. 

3. Is this a symptom of menopause?

During and after menopause, hormonal changes affecting the levels of the hormones estrogen and testosterone can affect your libido. Testosterone levels naturally decline throughout a woman's life, and estrogen levels tend to drop sharply at menopause. This drop in estrogen not only affects your libido but also reduces natural vaginal secretions, resulting in dry vaginal tissue that can be uncomfortable, even painful, during sex.

4. Have you just had a baby?

Although studies show that most women are likely to resume regular sexual activity within six months of giving birth, many women experience lower levels of sexual pleasure and emotional satisfaction for up to 18 months after having a baby. This is because it is natural for libido to decrease after childbirth due to lower estrogen levels.

>>> If the issues evoked ring true for you, discover whether or not you are going through a love burnout and read up on our top tips for a great sex life.