I No Longer Want To Be Intimate, How Do I Get My Sex Drive Back?

Last updated by Katie M.

Fatigue, stress, and the hustle and bustle of everyday life are all factors that can negatively impact your libido. Are you currently going through a sex drought and feel like it’s causing issues in your relationship? If you want to rediscover the burning sensation of hot passion, you're in the right place. While all couples may experience a decrease in sexual desire, it is important to be 100% present in the relationship so that your bedroom activities remain a priority for you both. Do you want to rekindle desire in your couple? Discover our 10 tips to get your libido back!

I No Longer Want To Be Intimate, How Do I Get My Sex Drive Back?
Contents:

Are you in the situation where you no longer want to make love, or no longer feel attracted to your partner? Yet, despite it being out of your control, you constantly feel guilty? Relationships go through a variety of ups and downs and at times, these seem to coincide with our desire towards our partner. Sex is undeniably one of the most important parts of a relationship and helps us to express our love for each other, which is why it's important to act fast when our libidos drop off the scale.

10 Ways to boost your libido

1. Discuss the problem with your partner.

As with any relationship problem, it’s best to start with a discussion that will help identify the problem. If the disorder has a medical origin, the best solution is to consult a doctor.

2. Relax and stop putting too much pressure on yourself.

Sources of stress can have a negative impact on your appetite for love making. Working out to let off steam or even sophrology are good ways to release stress.

>>> Discover our selection of the 15 most romantic quotes.

3. Rest up and recover.

Fatigue is one of the most common factors in a low sex drive. When we are tired, sleep is our only goal.

4. Don't force yourself into doing things you don't want to.

You may feel guilty or even panicked that your partner might eventually go elsewhere. This worry may make you do certain things just so you don't disappoint them or lose them. By forcing yourself to please them, you may become more lost and create more discomfort for yourself. So, avoid forcing yourself and learn to say no!

5. Gain self-confidence and learn to like yourself.

If you are not comfortable in your body, or, if you lack self-confidence, it’s difficult to feel sexy. Focusing on your complexes or even suffering from dysmorphia could lead you to think that your partner doesn't want you anymore. Your partner must play a role in reassuring you in order to help you to feel good about yourself!

6. Talk about it around your friends.

Sexuality remains a taboo subject, and the loss of libido even more so! And yet, the best way to solve it is by talking about it and listening to the advice of those who have also experienced it. You'll be surprised how common this issue really is.

7. Spice up your sex life.

Suggest new sexual experiences to your significant other and share your ideas! Desire is also in the atmosphere, so, learn how to kiss in different ways, dare to try new ways to make the passion rise!

8. Create a craving.

It's important to keep a certain distance to better regain the desire to be with the other person. It's well known that desire increases with distance. 

9. Break the boring routine.

After months or even years with your partner, a certain routine will have certainly set in. Don't hesitate to surprise your partner by changing up your look, for example, or by taking time together away from work and daily life. Dare to take your partner to new places, or even treat yourself to a candlelit meal… Finding time for each other is a secret for lasting relationships.

10. Don't hesitate to consult a sex therapist.

If the lack of sex is putting a strain on your relationship, don't hesitate to call a sex therapist. This is a moment that offers a break and allows you to ask yourself the real questions to free yourself from your emotions.

What causes a sudden decrease in sex drive? - 4 Questions to ask yourself

Loss of interest in sex is often related to stress, fatigue, or concerns in your relationship. But sometimes it can be a sign of an underlying medical problem. Here are some of the common causes of low libido and what you can do about it.

1. Are there problems in your relationship?

Relationship problems are one of the most common causes of low libido. Lack of communication or routine often cause a loss of libido too. If you've been with your partner for a long time, the passion of the early days may have faded, which can sometimes have a negative impact on your sex drive.

2. Do you have mental health problems?

If you do, you're not alone: 25% of the European population suffers from depression or anxiety each year, which can affect your sex drive. One study found that more than 33% of men and nearly 42% of women with depression reported a lack of desire, even when not taking antidepressants. Your mental health status can influence all aspects of life, and additional pressure to perform sexually will not help you get better. 

3. Is this a symptom of menopause?

During and after menopause, hormonal changes affecting the levels of the hormones estrogen and testosterone can affect your libido. Testosterone levels naturally decline throughout a woman's life, and estrogen levels tend to drop sharply at menopause. This drop in estrogen not only affects your libido but also reduces natural vaginal secretions, resulting in dry vaginal tissue that can be uncomfortable, even painful, during sex.

4. Have you just had a baby?

Although studies show that most women are likely to resume regular sexual activity within six months of giving birth, many women experience lower levels of sexual pleasure and emotional satisfaction for up to 18 months after having a baby. This is because it is natural for libido to decrease after childbirth due to lower estrogen levels.

Editor's opinion: Don't blame yourself

Our libidos are based on highs and lows that sometimes can't be explained. If you have recently been going through a dry patch when it comes to sex, don't beat yourself up about it. Every couple goes through these difficulties, but that doesn't mean the spark has been lost forever. Rather than worrying about your sexual performance, why not prioritize skin contact with lots of sensual cuddles? Who knows, one thing may even lead to another…

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

>>> If the issues evoked ring true for you, discover whether or not you are going through a love burnout and read up on our top tips for a great sex life.

Article presented by Katie M.

Discover the world through my eyes.

Amazing!

Read our latest articles here:

Mindfulness Meditation

Ah meditation! Who still hasn’t heard of it? For several years now, this practice has been gaining in popularity. Is it a need to slow down or a desire to find a haven of peace in an ever-changing and stressful world? Maybe. What exactly is mindfulness meditation? What are the benefits? And is it good for everyone? 1, 2, 3, breathe and dive into a more zen world!

What Causes Our Nightmares?

It's still dark when I open my eyes, and my heart is pounding out of my chest. In any case, phew, because I'm still alive and kicking. That man who was chasing me through that abandoned house wasn’t real, and I haven’t been chopped up into hundreds of little pieces. It was all just a bad dream... Like many people, I often have nightmares and have decided that I want to get to the bottom as to why. Let’s take a look together at what causes these disturbing dreams and traumatic events. 😱

8 Reasons Why Malignant Narcissists Are So Dangerous

If the title of this article hasn’t totally scared you away, then you are no doubt wondering what this beast of a person is really like. Well, a malignant narcissist is a step up from a typical narcissist and adds an antisocial personality disorder to the already intimidating mixture. Combined, these two personality disorders represent the relentless need for control, admiration, and power for selfish reasons, making folks with this diagnosis that bit scarier than classic manipulators. Here’s why these people are so terrifying, and how you can get your own back on them.

What Are The Weaknesses Of A Narcissist?

Each one of us has our own weaknesses that hold us back in life; be it at work or in relationships. However, on a more positive note, most of us have the will to work on them and transform them. That being said, once narcissists are brought into the picture, the idea that they want to work on their weaknesses doesn’t exactly seem feasible. For a deeper understanding of these narcissists and more insights into the workings of their minds, discover their weak spots and which pointers they struggle with on a daily basis, yet aren't willing to admit or work on.

Why Do Couples No Longer Fight To Save Their Relationships?

Seeing the number of couples who divorce or separate around us, a legitimate question arises and that is; do we fight less than previous generations to save our relationships? At the first sign of trouble, many of us seem willing to give up and move on to fresher pastures in the love department, that's right, we tend to believe that the grass is greener elsewhere. Is it because we were never truly head over heels for our partner? And, is it naïve to think that love can be everlasting?

I’m Nostalgic; But How Can I Stop Looking Back?

Whenever I have trouble sleeping, whenever I’m bored or whenever my thoughts wander, it’s not uncommon for me to find myself reliving my childhood vacations, or a delightful weekend in bed or even my wedding day. Sometimes I even shed a tear thinking about these moments in my past… Yes, I’m nostalgic, and I love revisiting memories, but that has to stop! Discover the steps to put in place if you want to live in the present!

I Still Suck My Thumb As An Adult

In general, thumb sucking ends around the age of 6. I say “in general” and not “normally”, because as an adult I don’t feel weird or particularly bothered by it. When I get stressed, I allow myself to let go and return to my childhood self by sucking my thumb. Those who know about it or catch me by surprise make me realize I should be ashamed… But is this habit a big deal? What if it makes me feel better? It’s certainly no worse than lighting up a cigarette or biting your nails…

Why Do Hugs And Physical Contact Make Me Feel Uncomfortable?

There are people who don’t like to be touched at all, and who are almost disgusted by physical contact. There are people who like to caress and be caressed for anything and everything, and there are people like me who always recoil when someone tries to touch them. Why do I shy away from physical contact? What if it’s all linked to the past?

10 Examples Of Text Messages A Narcissist Sends

Narcissists definitely move with the times, which is why many of them constantly troll dating sites for new victims. Chatting with a manipulator of this magnitude can be a rollercoaster experience, with dizzying heights that might lead you to believe you are in love, to gut-wrenching lows which will make you question your worth. For any raving narcissist, text message exchanges are a great way to reel in victims and follow through with their master plans for ultimate control over them. Are you texting someone you suspect to be a narcissist? The examples below could confirm your suspicions.

Are Narcissists Lonely?

Loneliness is one of society’s biggest enemies, and none of us are exempt from it, not even the most devilish of narcissists out there. In fact, throughout the Coronavirus pandemic, 36% of Americans claimed that they have never felt lonelier, which sets a scary benchmark for the wider population. Now, lots of us would no doubt immediately assume that narcissists are too independent and strong-willed to feel lonely, however, the truth is they are often the biggest victims of this phenomenon, yet simply have trouble expressing their inner malaise.

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist

wengood

  1. Only LoveBen Howard
    4:08
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
    4:55
  4. Beautiful DayU2
    4:08
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
    4:41
  6. White FlagDido
    4:00
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
    4:13
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
    3:17
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
    3:35
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
    4:24
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
    3:07
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
    4:37
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
    3:46
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
    2:19
  15. With Or Without YouU2
    4:56
  16. HelloAdele
    4:55
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
    3:29
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
    3:21
  19. WingsBirdy
    4:12
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar
    3:41


"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde


How to detect a narcissist

How to detect a narcissist

How to soothe an anxiety attack

How to soothe an anxiety attack