I No Longer Want To Be Intimate, How Do I Get My Sex Drive Back?

Last updated by Katie M.

Fatigue, stress, and the hustle and bustle of everyday life are all factors that can negatively impact your libido. Are you currently going through a sex drought and feel like it’s causing issues in your relationship? If you want to rediscover the burning sensation of hot passion, you're in the right place. While all couples may experience a decrease in sexual desire, it is important to be 100% present in the relationship so that your bedroom activities remain a priority for you both. Do you want to rekindle desire in your couple? Discover our 10 tips to get your libido back!

I No Longer Want To Be Intimate, How Do I Get My Sex Drive Back?
Contents:

Are you in the situation where you no longer want to make love, or no longer feel attracted to your partner? Yet, despite it being out of your control, you constantly feel guilty? Relationships go through a variety of ups and downs and at times, these seem to coincide with our desire towards our partner. Sex is undeniably one of the most important parts of a relationship and helps us to express our love for each other, which is why it's important to act fast when our libidos drop off the scale.

10 Ways to boost your libido

1. Discuss the problem with your partner.

As with any relationship problem, it’s best to start with a discussion that will help identify the problem. If the disorder has a medical origin, the best solution is to consult a doctor.

2. Relax and stop putting too much pressure on yourself.

Sources of stress can have a negative impact on your appetite for love making. Working out to let off steam or even sophrology are good ways to release stress.

>>> Discover our selection of the 15 most romantic quotes.

3. Rest up and recover.

Fatigue is one of the most common factors in a low sex drive. When we are tired, sleep is our only goal.

4. Don't force yourself into doing things you don't want to.

You may feel guilty or even panicked that your partner might eventually go elsewhere. This worry may make you do certain things just so you don't disappoint them or lose them. By forcing yourself to please them, you may become more lost and create more discomfort for yourself. So, avoid forcing yourself and learn to say no!

5. Gain self-confidence and learn to like yourself.

If you are not comfortable in your body, or, if you lack self-confidence, it’s difficult to feel sexy. Focusing on your complexes or even suffering from dysmorphia could lead you to think that your partner doesn't want you anymore. Your partner must play a role in reassuring you in order to help you to feel good about yourself!

6. Talk about it around your friends.

Sexuality remains a taboo subject, and the loss of libido even more so! And yet, the best way to solve it is by talking about it and listening to the advice of those who have also experienced it. You'll be surprised how common this issue really is.

7. Spice up your sex life.

Suggest new sexual experiences to your significant other and share your ideas! Desire is also in the atmosphere, so, learn how to kiss in different ways, dare to try new ways to make the passion rise!

8. Create a craving.

It's important to keep a certain distance to better regain the desire to be with the other person. It's well known that desire increases with distance. 

9. Break the boring routine.

After months or even years with your partner, a certain routine will have certainly set in. Don't hesitate to surprise your partner by changing up your look, for example, or by taking time together away from work and daily life. Dare to take your partner to new places, or even treat yourself to a candlelit meal… Finding time for each other is a secret for lasting relationships.

10. Don't hesitate to consult a sex therapist.

If the lack of sex is putting a strain on your relationship, don't hesitate to call a sex therapist. This is a moment that offers a break and allows you to ask yourself the real questions to free yourself from your emotions.

What causes a sudden decrease in sex drive? - 4 Questions to ask yourself

Loss of interest in sex is often related to stress, fatigue, or concerns in your relationship. But sometimes it can be a sign of an underlying medical problem. Here are some of the common causes of low libido and what you can do about it.

1. Are there problems in your relationship?

Relationship problems are one of the most common causes of low libido. Lack of communication or routine often cause a loss of libido too. If you've been with your partner for a long time, the passion of the early days may have faded, which can sometimes have a negative impact on your sex drive.

2. Do you have mental health problems?

If you do, you're not alone: 25% of the European population suffers from depression or anxiety each year, which can affect your sex drive. One study found that more than 33% of men and nearly 42% of women with depression reported a lack of desire, even when not taking antidepressants. Your mental health status can influence all aspects of life, and additional pressure to perform sexually will not help you get better. 

3. Is this a symptom of menopause?

During and after menopause, hormonal changes affecting the levels of the hormones estrogen and testosterone can affect your libido. Testosterone levels naturally decline throughout a woman's life, and estrogen levels tend to drop sharply at menopause. This drop in estrogen not only affects your libido but also reduces natural vaginal secretions, resulting in dry vaginal tissue that can be uncomfortable, even painful, during sex.

4. Have you just had a baby?

Although studies show that most women are likely to resume regular sexual activity within six months of giving birth, many women experience lower levels of sexual pleasure and emotional satisfaction for up to 18 months after having a baby. This is because it is natural for libido to decrease after childbirth due to lower estrogen levels.

Editor's opinion: Don't blame yourself

Our libidos are based on highs and lows that sometimes can't be explained. If you have recently been going through a dry patch when it comes to sex, don't beat yourself up about it. Every couple goes through these difficulties, but that doesn't mean the spark has been lost forever. Rather than worrying about your sexual performance, why not prioritize skin contact with lots of sensual cuddles? Who knows, one thing may even lead to another…

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

>>> If the issues evoked ring true for you, discover whether or not you are going through a love burnout and read up on our top tips for a great sex life.

Article presented by
Katie M.

🌻 Discover the world through my eyes.

Read our latest articles here:

What Are The 6 Types Of Narcissism?

There are a whole range of narcissistic personalities out there, and they scale from highly toxic to rather positive (surprising, right?!). That being said, most mental health experts agree that there are 6 types of narcissistic profiles, which whilst they may all be based on an inflated sense of self-esteem, they are in reality all drastically different, and more or less severe. When it comes to dealing with this type of personality disorder, it’s best to know what you are up against, in order to react appropriately, as well as to avoid falling into their traps and becoming their latest victim. After all, knowledge is power, and that’s never be truer than in this particular context.

10 Weird Things Narcissists Do Sexually - Romance Is Dead

As with many things in life, narcissists also have unhealthy relationships with sex and treat it as nothing more than a self-gratifying activity. After all, manipulation, control, and emotional abuse are their so-called trusty weapons that they hide behind in most circumstances, so why wouldn’t they call on them in the bedroom too? The bottom line is people with this personality disorder are used to getting what they want and will only ever put themselves and their pleasure first, which doesn’t bode well for a healthy sex life. 🙈 Discover the weird things narcissists do in the bedroom and what you should do if you are involved with one.

Are Narcissists Born Or Made? - Let's Settle The Debate

There you have it, the nature vs nurture debate is back, only this time I want to focus it on those deviously manipulative personalities we refer to as narcissists. Now, evidently these folks get bad press and rightly so because they are often at the root of plenty of harm, but is it really their fault? Can they really be blamed for their terrifying and perhaps inherent traits, or are they simply just products and in this case victims of their environments? Let’s settle this debate once and for all and figure out how and when this disorder becomes apparent. So, are you born a narcissist or is it developed?

Why Your Boyfriend Gets Defensive When You Talk About My Feelings

Relationships are never exactly straightforward, and at points, a crystal ball wouldn’t go amiss when it comes to understanding what your partner’s reactions are hiding. Now, sadly not all of us own a trusty crystal ball, but our experience when it comes to love is just as precious in analyzing potential pitfalls related to emotions. This may sound a little cliché, but us girls love talking about our feelings, whether that be about when we are falling in love, or when we are feeling sad. Yet some guys get really defensive whenever these serious topics come round, here’s why.

How Long Will A Narcissist Rebound Relationship Last?

Narcissist rebound relationships generally last anywhere from 6-months to a year. Now, whilst the timeframe depends on each individual, these twisted personalities usually head into these relationships with a plan in mind, meaning they know exactly when and where they'll break things off. Plus, when they are in the final stages of a relationship with you, they are no doubt in the process of grooming their next victim. That's right, the need for a constant narcissistic supply means that they aren't likely to date any one person for an extensive period of time. For them, they require fresh blood every 6-months or so because they simply get bored. Let's take a look at the reasons why they keep their rebounds short, but not so sweet.

Is Sleeping With A Colleague Or Your Boss A Dangerous Game?

I’ve had a crush on someone at work before. Honestly, if I hadn’t found out later that he was in a relationship, I’d have gone all out to seduce him. Except that we all know the “No sex at work” rule, which means that it’s a bad idea to sleep with a colleague, or worse, your boss! Is it really that dangerous a game? What do you risk if you’re caught in the act? I’ll explain it all to you (yes, I did my homework before going for it)!

I’m Having Doubts About My Relationship

This happens often. Since life in a relationship, and even love, are never a smooth ride, of course, I have my doubts 😵‍💫. Not on the same wavelength, the impression that the grass is greener on the other side, different plans… Under the weight of doubts, love loses its splendor. Can it be fixed? I don’t think so, but the important thing is to know how to react.

What Is Candaulism?

Now, many of you are no doubt scratching your head wondering what candaulism means, but some of you must already know by now, and that would explain the recent spike in Google searches for the term. Candaulism is in fact a sexual practice in which a man exposes his female partner or photos of her, to other consenting people. This particular fantasy is therefore associated with exhibitionism. Although that’s not all, the term can also apply to a male partner watching his girlfriend or wife making love to someone else. So, let’s take a peep (get it?) at this practice.

Create a Peaceful Living Space

For years, I didn’t really take care of my home. Not that it was dirty, but there was no particular decoration, and most of all, a lot of clutter. Then one day, I decided to do a major decluttering! I thought it would be a dreadful task, but in the end, I realized that organizing my apartment also helped clear my mind. We often overlook this, but having a peaceful living space truly makes a difference!

Mature Love: How Do Relationships Evolve Over Time?

They say that love is like fine wine: it evolves, matures, and becomes even more delightful with time. I say "they say," but in reality, I’m certain of it. Even though I’m single as I write this article, I’ve experienced long-lasting love stories, and there’s nothing quite like reaching mature love—the kind that provides security and support. That’s why today, I want to talk to you about how romantic relationships evolve!



Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist

wengood

  1. Only LoveBen Howard
    4:08
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
    4:55
  4. Beautiful DayU2
    4:08
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
    4:41
  6. White FlagDido
    4:00
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
    4:13
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
    3:17
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
    3:35
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
    4:24
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
    3:07
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
    4:37
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
    3:46
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
    2:17
  15. With Or Without YouU2
    4:56
  16. HelloAdele
    4:55
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
    3:29
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
    3:21
  19. WingsBirdy
    4:12
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar
    3:41

How to detect a narcissist

How to detect a narcissist

How to soothe an anxiety attack

How to soothe an anxiety attack