Here's What To Do When Unhappy In A Relationship - 3 Essential Things

Last updated by Katie M.

Do you no longer feel chemistry with your partner? Have you virtually fallen out of love? Being in a relationship means having a life partner, and that means someone who motivates you to be and do better, all whilst sweeping you off your feet. That's all well and good, but maybe a little too idealistic. When things turn sour in a relationship, and you are left feeling unhappy and misunderstood, it's time to take action. When your man makes you cry more than you laugh, you should start questioning your relationship. But before leaving everything behind, think about possible solutions!

Here's What To Do When Unhappy In A Relationship - 3 Essential Things
Contents: 

My relationship no longer makes me happy; what should I do?

1. I need to admit there’s a problem

Before I pack my bags and put an end to our love story, I need to be sure of my choice. Every couple goes through ups and downs, and you have to know the difference between a bad patch and a relationship that's running out of steam. I shouldn't slam the door out of anger because it's never good to react without thinking. Even the most terrible crisis can make a couple stronger, while a sudden break-up can turn out to be a terrible mistake.

There are certain signals that are not wrong when a couple is on the verge of a breakdown. If I compare the present with the past and regret the times when my boyfriend made me laugh more than cry, then there’s a problem. The total lack of physical and emotional connection is also troubling. We have to admit that we spend all our time annoying each other and therefore avoiding each other... I can't ignore it anymore.

- Are You Going Through A Love Burnout? Here Are The Signs -

Clear your mind:


  • If need be, I take a piece of paper and make a list of pros and cons about my relationship. The fullest column will tell me if I'm really fulfilled.  
  • I can also discuss my issues with those around me because I'm not the first or the last to experience this. Being understood and advised will reassure me.

2. Engage in a frank discussion

It’s well known that communication is the root of finding a solution. Expressing my feelings is not always easy, but we are both adults who can talk. A couple is made up of two people who deserve to be respected and two points of view that deserve to be heard.

This is the time to get everything off my chest. To prevent the exchange from turning into a boxing match, I use non-violent communication. As long as I speak frankly and openly, without minimizing my feeling, then I’ll feel much better afterwards. My partner needs to understand my desires and what's bothering me. My honesty will help him realize that for the future of our relationship, profound change is necessary.

In return, I am ready to listen to him so that we can find solutions to rekindle the flame. A fresh start is possible if we are both on the same wavelength. If we have to fight, it's together!

- Read our 7 Tips For A Fulfilled Sex Life and why we get jealous in relationships -

3. I need to give myself some time alone

Temporarily or permanently, only time will tell. If nothing changes after our many attempts to repair the broken parts of our relationship, then moving away will be the ultimate solution. Because far from the heavy atmosphere that reigned in our home, I could take a step back and realize what I really want. There is a charitable soul in my entourage who will open their couch to me for a while...

Who knows, maybe I'll realize that I miss my partner and his annoying habits, that I'll throw myself into his arms with fresh eyes. I might even discover a more detached attitude and a desire to focus on the positive.

Why am I unhappy in a relationship? 5 Most common reasons why

Happiness isn’t always an easy state of mind to achieve, and we all have our moments when we instinctively see the glass as being half empty rather than half full. Although that being said, if you feel like your relationship is having a negative impact on how you feel, it is time to try and get to the root of the problem by understanding what is provoking this feeling inside you. 

Here are the most common reasons people feel uncomfortable in their love stories.

  • 1) Lack of trust
  • 2) Not feeling acknowledged or listened to
  • 3) Not spending enough quality time with your partner
  • 4) Not feeling respected
  • 5) Not feeling loved

What are the signs a guy is unhappy in a relationship?

The first sign of an unhappy man in a relationship is a lack of communication. If your partner doesn't want to talk to you, or if he avoids your questions, and if he keeps to himself, this should be a warning sign. Try to help him deal with this situation. This is important to get back to proper communication between you.

For some time, you have noticed a certain irritability in your man? This is probably a sign that he is not doing well. Even if it's not easy, give him your support and take it in stride, even if he gets angry every time you make a remark. You have noticed a certain lack of care in your partner? Does your man no longer want to take care of himself? Has his diet deteriorated? These different signs probably prove that he is not happy at the moment. To help him, you should try to encourage him to resume his good habits so that he becomes attractive again.

Another sign of an unhappy man in a relationship is that he doesn't want to do anything anymore. Going out together, evenings with friends, family meals... if all this doesn't appeal to him anymore, it's surely a sign of unhappiness. To help him get through this bad patch, try to discuss it with him or contact a psychologist. As a professional, the latter may be able to help him overcome this ordeal and regain a taste for the simple pleasures of life.

The editor's opinion - Get better with this exercise

If you feel unhappy in your relationship, but can’t identify why, put things on paper first. Take a piece of paper and identify your needs, all those little things you miss in your relationship: a need for affection, for, for laughter, going out...

Once that's done, think about which ones you can fulfill by yourself or with the help of those around you, because your partner is not a drug, and you have to forget about the idea that a couple is enough to meet all your needs.
If the problem is clearly related to your relationship, do this exercise as a couple.

"What kills a couple is the lack of communication," continues the expert. So, every week, take a moment to share and describe all the little things you didn't like about the week. Involuntary assaults, unpleasant words, lack of attention... Your partner will not intervene, and the roles are reversed after 15 minutes. See how avoiding the unsaid is good for the couple!

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

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