Financing my very expensive wedding gave me the electric shock I needed to realize that I wanted my marriage to be a forever thing. Eternal love is hard to find, but remembering that relationships are a two-way street is essential in getting us through the hard times. No one enters into a marriage thinking it’ll eventually boost the divorce rates, but sometime fate seems to decide otherwise! Readers, check out the 10 most common reasons people divorce and get ready to fight against them, pitchforks and all!
The 10 main reasons for divorce
1) Infidelity bug
Going down the infidelity route is a surefire way to put an end to your marriage. Whether it was simply a one-night stand or a long-running passionate affair, cheating is one of, if not THE biggest marriage killer. Nowadays, infidelity is the most common reason cited for divorce and separation. Forgiveness is a beautiful thing, but it doesn’t reimburse the money spent on therapy!
Did you know?
Adultery is the cause of 33% of divorces. That means we can expect to see chastity belts on sale pretty soon! Not many of us are able to move on from physical or emotional affairs.
2) Emotional abuse
The second most common reason for divorce is abusive behavior, which includes excessive jealousy, possessiveness and both verbal and physical violence. Being in a toxic relationship with an abusive partner is completely unhealthy and will only ever end badly. (Sorry for those of you out there praying your toxic partner will change, because spoiler alert, they never will!)
3) Lack of attention
Years of marriage often push partners away, especially as routine takes root. Now, I’m not saying that us girls need a flowers and chocolates every night, but we need a minimum of affection in our life! When the excitement and butterflies disappear, relationships can become stale and hard going. When you feel like you and your man are more like roommates than lovers, red lights should start going off in your head! Yes, a lack of intimacy is definitely crushing for any relationship.
Every woman wants to be made to feel like a queen, not an inanimate object. If you want your relationship to last, you need to work on keeping the passion alive!
4) Boredom Zzz
Living with the same person 24/7 can be challenging, and in some cases can even lead you to tearing your hair out with boredom. In order to avoid falling into a black hole of complete tediousness, both partners need to make an effort to spice things up a little! Evidently, having a partner who doesn’t make you feel special is just another excuse to go looking for attention elsewhere.
⚠️ Warning! ⚠️
Having a routine can be a positive thing for a couple. I’m definitely not against a weekly date night, for example, but there needs to be some element of spontaneity in a relationship.
5) A paused sex life
Sex is one of the fundamental bases for any successful relationship, yet as the years fly by and the flame dwindles, what’s the solution to spicing things up?! Let’s be honest, we’ve all used the excuse of having a headache at least once, but if you use it on a regular basis, there’s a problem. Sex coupled with good communication is the best remedy for any long-lasting relationship and is essential in avoiding divorce. Lack of bedroom activity is often the final straw for many couples going through issues…
The numbers speak for themselves
30% of people in couples admit that they aren't satisfied between the sheets!
6) Different plans for the future
‘Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ time?’
‘Travelling the world. You?’
‘At home looking after the kids.’
From kids, pets, and even your professional ambitions, it’s hard being on the same page as your partner when it comes to planning for the future. The sad truth is, when we don’t have common goals, the relationship probably won't survive. 15% of couples divorce for this exact reason!
Opposites attract, but can this theory really be applied to a real relationship; I have my doubts, and I’m surely not alone. The harsh truth is we need some things in common to be able to move forward. If you have different routines, for example, not seeing each other regularly could eventually push you apart.
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7) Age or maturity difference
At the start of a relationship, an age difference may seem exciting and thrilling, but things could change very quickly! As relationships develop, especially those with an age difference, a huge variance in maturity can appear. Whether you are with an older or younger guy, having to accept that aren’t at the same stage in life could be a possibility.
8) Money issues
You've guessed it; financial problems often create tension in the long-term. Money can’t buy you happiness or a healthy marriage, however it can facilitate things if you are on the same wavelength as your partner. Having totally opposite attitudes in regard to managing your finances is a recipe for disaster in my book! Everyone likes to splash out every once in a while, however when one partner wants to save up and the other doesn’t, you can expect drama!
9) Simply falling out of love...
Love doesn't last forever like in the movies, meaning many couples aren't exactly in it for the long haul. Taking that into account plus the lack of spark is a total recipe for disaster and would encourage many of us to think about signing divorce papers whilst moving on to the next best things. For whatever reason, when the feelings go, they are almost impossible to bring back.
10) Annoying in-laws
Let’s set the record straight, we probably all have seriously annoying in-laws who love to become overly involved in our lives. From the in-laws that turn up out-of-the-blue expecting you to entertain them to those that love giving out advice. Having to force yourself to be polite and friendly with your in-laws is a task, especially when your partner can’t seem to understand your pain. Do I even need to bring up the partners who constantly defend their moms and never take your side?!
Now you’re up-to-date with the 10 most common reasons for divorce, I’m crossing my fingers for you and hope you manage to address your issues.
What year of marriage is the hardest?
According to the legend, love only lasts 3 years. Indeed, after 3 years, we often begin to see our partner in a different light and the daily routine often pushes us apart from each other. That’s right, after 3 years of a relationship, the expression "love makes you blind" seems to disappear. The magic of the beginning crumbles to make way for reality, meaning the early years of marriage are officially the most testing. Here, we become aware that our spouse is not so perfect and that perhaps we are in need of something, or in this case someone else.
Editor's opinion — Fight for this love
Marriage is certainly is no walk in the park and is a commitment that needs to be nourished and cared for with great attention. It's only natural for couples to go through ups and downs, but that's not an excuse for throwing the towel in as soon as you hit rocky roads. When your love is real, you just can't afford to let it go. Both partners need to communicate openly in an attempt to sort their differences. Turning to a professional for help is also a constructive idea and will give you insights into what needs to be changed.
🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!
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