Relationships: How To Break Up MaturelyHave you recently decided that breaking up with your partner is your only option? As you know, breakups are brutal and you obviously don't want to inflict pain and suffering on your partner, right? Are you wondering how to let him down gently? It's important to ask the right questions to make the separation as painless as possible. Some couples manage to separate without tearing each other apart, what’s their secret?
Whether or not the breakup is a mutual decision, separation is a difficult time. The question is; how can we separate smoothly and remain on good grounds?
How can we walk away on good terms?
1. Be as humane as possible
When the decision to break things off isn’t mutual, it is never sweet to experience. Make sure that you are as gentle as possible, sparing details and criticisms. It is better to talk about yourself than to try to make the other person bear the brunt of the failure. Avoid explosive arguments that could shatter your desire to separate under good conditions.
2. Respect your partner
When feelings come to an end, it's easy to forget that you once loved, but it's important not to deny what you shared together. Stay tuned to each other's arguments. Using non-violent communication can turn conflicts into simple dialogues.
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3. Explain your reasons
Don't pack your suitcase without a word or ghost. Tell your partner the truth, even if it is sometimes hard, not understanding causes great pain and will prevent them from moving forward.
4. Be clear
Don't get hopes up about you changing your mind. By letting doubt hang over you, you will prevent the other person from entering into a grieving process and turning the page. Establishing the right distance is important, but be careful not to cut off everything instantly.
You can offer to make time for your soon to be ex, for example, by allowing them to call you to ask questions. If you want to stay friends with your ex, leave no doors open, no room for doubt, there's no turning back.
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5. If you are a parent, act in the best interests of the children.
Separation is also a very difficult time for children, make sure you break the news to them in a reassuring way. Do not reveal the intimate reasons for the separation, clarify the situation fairly quickly about the changes to come, communicate... Try your hardest to agree on the upbringing of your kids and make decisions together.
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When should you break up with someone?
After the holidays, after Christmas, after Valentine's Day, after her birthday, after her big case at work... Choosing the right time can be a real hassle. Waiting for the right time can lead to a dysfunctional relationship. It's up to you to decide the right time, when you feel like it.
Editor's opinion: Get helpBreaking up is never an easy task, you feel guilty, and you want to avoid a destructive break up for both of you. Did you know that a psychologist can help you take the plunge and show you how to achieve a smooth break-up?
Do not hesitate to confide your doubts in our qualified psychologists to finally open a new chapter in your life.