Whether the breakup is a mutual decision, separation is a difficult time, but it can be made easier if it's done thoughtfully. The question is; how can we separate smoothly and remain on good grounds? Plus, because you live together, you automatically see each other every day, meaning it's even more crucial to let them down gently.
How to break up when you live with your partner - 5 Tips to follow
1. Be as humane as possible
When the decision to break things off isn’t mutual, it is never sweet to experience and is likely to make one partner feel sad. To avoid crushing their feelings, make sure that you are as gentle as possible, sparing details and criticism. It is better to talk about yourself than to try to make the other person bear the brunt of the failure. Avoid explosive arguments that could shatter your desire to separate peacefully and respectfully.
2. Respect your partner
When feelings come to an end, it's easy to forget that you once loved, but it's important not to deny what you shared. Stay tuned in to each other's arguments. Using non-violent communication can turn conflicts into simple dialogues. Although dropping this bombshell may seem intimidating, you have to confront it and should never give in to the idea of doing it via text or social media, for example. Your partner needs to understand what has pushed you to make this choice in a face-to-face situation.
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3. Explain your reasons
Don't pack your suitcase without a word or ghost them. Tell your partner the truth, even if it is sometimes hard, not understanding causes great pain and will prevent them from moving forward. Indeed, we need to be able to understand where things went wrong in order to be able to rectify things in the future.
4. Be clear
Don't get their hopes up about you changing your mind. By letting doubt hang over you, you will prevent the other person from entering into a grieving process and turning the page on what you once had. Establishing the right distance is important, but be careful not to cut off everything instantly.
You can offer to make time for your soon-to-be ex, for example, by allowing them to call you to ask questions. If you want to stay friends with them, leave no doors for a future reconciliation open, there can be no room for doubt.
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5. If you are a parent, act in the best interests of the children.
Separation is also a very difficult time for children, make sure you break the news to them in a reassuring way. Do not reveal the intimate reasons for the separation, clarify the situation fairly quickly about the changes to come, communicate… Try your hardest to agree on the upbringing of your kids and make decisions together. Both parent's point of view always need to be heard and taken into account when little ones are involved.
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How to know when it’s time to break up?
After the holidays, after Christmas, after Valentine's Day, after their birthday or big interview… Choosing the right time can be a real hassle because there will never exactly be a 'right time', plus no one really takes pleasure in hurting the feelings of someone they once loved and cared for. 3 Signs simply don’t lie when it comes to the end of your relationship.
1) You feel lonely in your relationship
For him, everything seemed to be going smoothly. Let's face it, I'm pretty fun to date and ultra-devout when I'm in a relationship. Since I met this guy on an app, and we started dating right away, the relationship started without us really having time to get to know each other. Between us, I thought that things were going slowly, I was happy at first not to get carried away. So I waited and wondered: where are the words of love, the butterflies, the honeymoon that I would like to be experiencing in the early days of a relationship? Three months later, I feel alone in this relationship, sometimes more alone than if I was single.
2) The communication is terrible
Of course, it is normal that the sun does not shine all year round under the sky of love. But... in the first few months? Well, let's admit it. I learned that when a difficulty arises in a relationship, it should be possible to talk about it and find solutions together. So I shared my romantic frustrations with him. He listened, he understood, and I waited. People have told me that it's better to have a guy who is there than a fantasy that exists only in my head. I've even been reminded that you have to make do with what you have.
3) You have a crush on someone else
Here's something that kept me from admitting to myself that it was time to break up: I love being around his buddies, and I didn't want to leave them. Lately, one of them was even occupying my mind a little too much. Playful, demonstrative, balanced... I thought that if I had met him before my boyfriend, I would have been attracted to him.
Where to break up with someone
Deciding you want to put an end to your relationship is only half of this mammoth task, the other half consists of knowing where you’ll do it in order to ensure the calmest reaction. The best option when going about breaking the news to your soon-to-be ex partner, is doing so in a private place because the realization of what’s to come is likely to provoke unpredictable emotions. Doing so in a private and calm setting is a respectful choice and proves that you have thought things through and not just made a hasty decision.
Editor's opinion: Get help and speak out
Breaking up is never an easy task, you feel guilty, and you want to avoid a destructive break-up for both of you. Did you know that a psychologist can help you take the plunge and show you how to achieve a smooth break-up?
Do not hesitate to confide your doubts in our qualified psychologists to finally open a new chapter in your life.
🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy… Let’s do it here and now!
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