Narcissists NEED to look good
Yes, they lack empathy, and yes they take advantage of other people to benefit themselves, but, above all, their main preoccupation is making themselves look good. Their overinflated egos and evident sense of self-entitlement mean they constantly need to feel admired, and the only way they can ensure they feel venerated is by painting themselves out to be something they simply aren't. In essence, they need to become the victim in their psychodrama to remain in control.
Despite their underhand tactics, they want people to see them as decent and upstanding human beings. They want people to look up to them and see them as inspirational. That's right, for them, it's simply out of the question for people to see how dangerous and toxic they are, hence why they hide behind the mask of a victim. People with narcissistic tendencies live in constant fear of being exposed, and consequently losing everything, everything that they've spent years putting in place for their own sick entertainment.
>>> Find out here what a narcissist hates
They know all the manipulation tactics in the book
If you've read any of my other articles, you'll know that I always seem to attract narcissists when I date. It's not a talent that I particularly like to brag about, although I guess I can be grateful to my toxic exes for opening my eyes to how dangerous this personality disorder can truly be. My most recent ex was (despite his reluctance to admit it) a huge narcissist and completely damaging for my mental health. Yet, regardless of how humiliating, mean, vicious and awful he was to me, it took me years to find the courage to leave him, and free myself from this metaphorical prison. Although, when I finally walked out on him, all hell broke loose.
Leaving my ex awakened, even more, hate within him
As an empath, leaving my narcissistic ex was undoubtedly the hardest thing I have ever done and not a decision I took lightly either. Yet, to make matters even harder, my ex ended up turning the situation around on me, to the point where mutual friends reported back to me that he had been painting me out as the abuser. My best friend even had several late-night rambling voicemails from him, warning her to stay away from me because I was supposedly out to get her too.
According to him, I'd spent years cutting him off from his friends and family, and had been mentally abusive for the entirety of our relationship. I was allegedly controlling, violent, and explosive. Yep, he had stolen my story, and after everything he had put me through, still had the audacity to lie and portray me as the villain. He tried anything and everything to save face and hide from the consequences of the pain and suffering he had inflicted on me. After all, for him, attempting to make me look like a bad person was also a way for him to get back at me, and to punish me for walking away. Although I was finally free of his grasp, he wanted to show me that he could get to me one last time.
Why do narcissists want to destroy you?
A narcissist wants to hurt you because they are riddled with childhood pain, insecurity, uncertainty, abandonment, anger, frustrations, feelings of being unloved, abused and unprotected. These feelings are most likely to come from the result of their parents' parenting styles. The psychological damage happens when a child is very young, between the ages of 2 and 7, when they are developing their personality. A child that does not receive the love, attention and care that are so essential for a young child to become a mature and healthy adult. Thus, a child's mind and emotions develop in a mentally disordered way, resulting in the development of a narcissistic personality disorder in early adulthood. Sad to say, this is a learned behavior from the way they were treated as a child. Thus, a child learns to manipulate, lie and cheat to satisfy their needs. They strive for perfection because they are learning what they need to get along in this world and be accepted in life.
Editor's opinion - I don't regret walking away
Although leaving my ex exposed me to another world of pain and forced me to confront bogus rumors, I'm still grateful I got out when I did. Regardless of all the malicious lies floating around, I was lucky enough to have a solid entourage around me, who knew I was simply incapable of all the atrocities that my ex claimed I was responsible for, but I am aware that not everyone is so lucky. If you find yourself in a situation where you have left an abusive partner, be sure to reach out for support because walking away isn't always the end of your ordeal.
🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!
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