Narcissists NEED to look good so yes, they play the victim
Yes, they lack empathy, and yes they take advantage of other people to benefit themselves, but, above all, their main preoccupation is making themselves look good. Their overinflated egos and evident sense of self-entitlement mean they constantly need to feel admired, and the only way they can ensure they feel venerated is by painting themselves out to be something they simply aren't. In essence, they need to become the victim in their psychodrama to remain in control.
Despite their underhand tactics, they want people to see them as decent and upstanding human beings. They want people to look up to them and see them as inspirational. That's right, for them, it's simply out of the question for people to see how dangerous and toxic they are, hence why they hide behind the mask of a victim. People with narcissistic tendencies live in constant fear of being exposed, and consequently losing everything, everything that they've spent years putting in place for their own sick entertainment.
>>> Find out here what a narcissist hates
They know all the manipulation tactics in the book
If you've read any of my other articles, you'll know that I always seem to attract narcissists when I date. It's not a talent that I particularly like to brag about, although I guess I can be grateful to my toxic exes for opening my eyes to how dangerous this personality disorder can truly be. My most recent ex was (despite his reluctance to admit it) a huge narcissist and completely damaging for my mental health. Yet, regardless of how humiliating, mean, vicious and awful he was to me, it took me years to find the courage to leave him, and free myself from this metaphorical prison. Although, when I finally walked out on him, all hell broke loose.
Leaving my ex awakened, even more, hate within him
As an empath, leaving my narcissistic ex was undoubtedly the hardest thing I have ever done and not a decision I took lightly either. Yet, to make matters even harder, my ex ended up turning the situation around on me, to the point where mutual friends reported back to me that he had been painting me out as the abuser. My best friend even had several late-night rambling voicemails from him, warning her to stay away from me because I was supposedly out to get her too.
According to him, I'd spent years cutting him off from his friends and family, and had been mentally abusive for the entirety of our relationship. I was allegedly controlling, violent, and explosive. Yep, he had stolen my story, and after everything he had put me through, still had the audacity to lie and portray me as the villain. He tried anything and everything to save face and hide from the consequences of the pain and suffering he had inflicted on me. After all, for him, attempting to make me look like a bad person was also a way for him to get back at me, and to punish me for walking away. Although I was finally free of his grasp, he wanted to show me that he could get to me one last time.
⬇️ FAQ: What type of narcissist always plays the victim?
There are different types of narcissistic personalities, and some of them may indeed adopt the role of victim to manipulate others and gain attention or sympathy. Here are a few examples of narcissistic personality types who can play the victim:
- The victim narcissist: This type of narcissist presents themselves as constantly unhappy, oppressed or unfairly treated by others. They may exaggerate their own suffering or difficulties to elicit pity and attention.
- The passive-aggressive narcissist: This type of narcissist often uses passive-aggressive behaviors to express their sense of victimhood. They may complain, play the indignation card or use guilt-tripping to manipulate others and get what they want.
- The histrionic narcissist: This type of narcissist constantly seeks attention and validation from others. They may dramatize their own problems or create situations to draw attention to themselves, portraying themselves as victims in need of constant support.
- The manipulative narcissist: This type of narcissist uses emotional manipulation to control others. They may play the victim to elicit sympathy and get what they want, while avoiding responsibility for their own actions.
Why do narcissists want to destroy you?
A narcissist wants to hurt you because they are riddled with childhood pain, insecurity, uncertainty, abandonment, anger, frustrations, feelings of being unloved, abused and unprotected. These feelings are most likely to come from the result of their parents' parenting styles. The psychological damage happens when a child is very young, between the ages of 2 and 7, when they are developing their personality. A child that does not receive the love, attention and care that are so essential for a young child to become a mature and healthy adult. Thus, a child's mind and emotions develop in a mentally disordered way, resulting in the development of a narcissistic personality disorder in early adulthood. Sad to say, this is a learned behavior from the way they were treated as a child. Thus, a child learns to manipulate, lie and cheat to satisfy their needs. They strive for perfection because they are learning what they need to get along in this world and be accepted in life.
Editor's opinion - I don't regret walking awayAlthough leaving my ex exposed me to another world of pain and forced me to confront bogus rumors, I'm still grateful I got out when I did. Regardless of all the malicious lies floating around, I was lucky enough to have a solid entourage around me, who knew I was simply incapable of all the atrocities that my ex claimed I was responsible for, but I am aware that not everyone is so lucky. If you find yourself in a situation where you have left an abusive partner, be sure to reach out for support because walking away isn't always the end of your ordeal.
🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!
#BornToBeMe
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