Do Narcissists Play The Victim? - Yes, And Like Oscar-Winning Actors

Last updated by Katie M.

If you have ever had the displeasure of encountering someone with a narcissistic personality disorder, then you’ll no doubt already know how manipulative they are. Indeed, these folks despise taking responsibility for their actions and will do whatever it takes to avoid taking the rap for them, including play the victim. That’s right, these master puppeteers won’t hold back on pulling the strings and changing the narrative so that it suits them. Plus, they know exactly how to turn the waterworks when they want to get people on side.

Do Narcissists Play The Victim? - Yes, And Like Oscar-Winning Actors

Narcissists NEED to look good so yes, they play the victim

Yes, they lack empathy, and yes they take advantage of other people to benefit themselves, but, above all, their main preoccupation is making themselves look good. Their overinflated egos and evident sense of self-entitlement mean they constantly need to feel admired, and the only way they can ensure they feel venerated is by painting themselves out to be something they simply aren't. In essence, they need to become the victim in their psychodrama to remain in control.

Despite their underhand tactics, they want people to see them as decent and upstanding human beings. They want people to look up to them and see them as inspirational. That's right, for them, it's simply out of the question for people to see how dangerous and toxic they are, hence why they hide behind the mask of a victim. People with narcissistic tendencies live in constant fear of being exposed, and consequently losing everything, everything that they've spent years putting in place for their own sick entertainment.

>>> Find out here what a narcissist hates

They know all the manipulation tactics in the book

If you've read any of my other articles, you'll know that I always seem to attract narcissists when I date. It's not a talent that I particularly like to brag about, although I guess I can be grateful to my toxic exes for opening my eyes to how dangerous this personality disorder can truly be. My most recent ex was (despite his reluctance to admit it) a huge narcissist and completely damaging for my mental health. Yet, regardless of how humiliating, mean, vicious and awful he was to me, it took me years to find the courage to leave him, and free myself from this metaphorical prison. Although, when I finally walked out on him, all hell broke loose.

Leaving my ex awakened, even more, hate within him

As an empath, leaving my narcissistic ex was undoubtedly the hardest thing I have ever done and not a decision I took lightly either. Yet, to make matters even harder, my ex ended up turning the situation around on me, to the point where mutual friends reported back to me that he had been painting me out as the abuser. My best friend even had several late-night rambling voicemails from him, warning her to stay away from me because I was supposedly out to get her too.

According to him, I'd spent years cutting him off from his friends and family, and had been mentally abusive for the entirety of our relationship. I was allegedly controlling, violent, and explosive. Yep, he had stolen my story, and after everything he had put me through, still had the audacity to lie and portray me as the villain. He tried anything and everything to save face and hide from the consequences of the pain and suffering he had inflicted on me. After all, for him, attempting to make me look like a bad person was also a way for him to get back at me, and to punish me for walking away. Although I was finally free of his grasp, he wanted to show me that he could get to me one last time.

⬇️ FAQ: What type of narcissist always plays the victim?

There are different types of narcissistic personalities, and some of them may indeed adopt the role of victim to manipulate others and gain attention or sympathy. Here are a few examples of narcissistic personality types who can play the victim:

  • The victim narcissist: This type of narcissist presents themselves as constantly unhappy, oppressed or unfairly treated by others. They may exaggerate their own suffering or difficulties to elicit pity and attention.
  • The passive-aggressive narcissist: This type of narcissist often uses passive-aggressive behaviors to express their sense of victimhood. They may complain, play the indignation card or use guilt-tripping to manipulate others and get what they want.
  • The histrionic narcissist: This type of narcissist constantly seeks attention and validation from others. They may dramatize their own problems or create situations to draw attention to themselves, portraying themselves as victims in need of constant support.
  • The manipulative narcissist: This type of narcissist uses emotional manipulation to control others. They may play the victim to elicit sympathy and get what they want, while avoiding responsibility for their own actions.

Why do narcissists want to destroy you?

A narcissist wants to hurt you because they are riddled with childhood pain, insecurity, uncertainty, abandonment, anger, frustrations, feelings of being unloved, abused and unprotected. These feelings are most likely to come from the result of their parents' parenting styles. The psychological damage happens when a child is very young, between the ages of 2 and 7, when they are developing their personality. A child that does not receive the love, attention and care that are so essential for a young child to become a mature and healthy adult. Thus, a child's mind and emotions develop in a mentally disordered way, resulting in the development of a narcissistic personality disorder in early adulthood. Sad to say, this is a learned behavior from the way they were treated as a child. Thus, a child learns to manipulate, lie and cheat to satisfy their needs. They strive for perfection because they are learning what they need to get along in this world and be accepted in life.

Editor's opinion - I don't regret walking away

Although leaving my ex exposed me to another world of pain and forced me to confront bogus rumors, I'm still grateful I got out when I did. Regardless of all the malicious lies floating around, I was lucky enough to have a solid entourage around me, who knew I was simply incapable of all the atrocities that my ex claimed I was responsible for, but I am aware that not everyone is so lucky. If you find yourself in a situation where you have left an abusive partner, be sure to reach out for support because walking away isn't always the end of your ordeal.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

Be sure to check out these articles too;

Article presented by Katie M.

🌻 Discover the world through my eyes.

Read our latest articles here:

8 Reasons Why All Narcissists Are Hypocrites

If you know anything about narcissists, you'll surely be aware that they are extremely overly judgmental and critical, especially towards other people. Their faultfinding stems from their perception of ultimate superiority, and therefore legitimizes them in holding people to intimidatingly high standards 👑. However, although they may believe they are pretty much perfect, the reality couldn't be any more different, yet they are slightly more forgiving with themselves. That's right, they are huge hypocrites and go from one extreme to another in a split second. Here we discuss the reasons behind their hypocritical behavior.

Do Narcissists Fear Intimacy?

This will probably come as no surprise to most of us, but in case any of you have a few remaining doubts, know that a relationship with a narcissist is nigh on impossible for a number of reasons. Now, we know that people with this personality disorder lack empathy, and aren’t exactly faithful in relationships, but what if all of their romantic shortfalls were down to them being afraid of intimacy and looking weak? 😨 Let’s explore this theory together and jump into the psyche of these dangerously toxic personas. Plus, we'll delve into how to approach intimacy after narcissistic abuse.

What Is The Tinkerbell Effect In Psychology?

Brilliant, ambitious, perfectionist... These words correspond to some people, especially women, who suffer from “Tinkerbell” syndrome. But as in all fairy tales, there’s a dark side... Just like Peter Pan’s fairy, they try to impress and are perpetually unfulfilled, compulsively seductive, and even manipulative 🧚. Psychotherapist Sylvie Tenenbaum coined this term after noticing that some people were obsessed with appearances and success. Let’s explain.

Who Do Narcissists Target?

If reading up on narcissists terrifies you, you probably already realize how dangerous their toxic personalities can be. Although, that being said, I’m probably going to add to the list of reasons as to why you should be ultra wary of these abusers, by revealing who they prey on. One thing that can be said about narcissists is that they certainly aren’t predictable people! 😱 Plus, spoiler alert, they don’t necessarily always choose to emotionally abuse seemingly weak people, no, in fact, they often choose bigger fish to fry because they love a challenge. Discover the types of personalities they hone in on and why.

What Is The Narcissistic Stare? - 5 Reasons Why They Glare 👀

Narcissists have a reputation for being amongst the most manipulative people out there, and rightly so! The truth is, these people are so good at the evil things they do because they operate under the radar and use covert methods to exercise their depraved missions. Now, one of the biggest and seemingly most unsuspecting techniques they use to manipulate and control their victims is staring. You're no doubt a little dubious about a stare being an effective tool in the art of manipulation, but it's true, a void and menacing look is one of the most intimidating and unnerving gestures that these folks turn to.

Are Covert Narcissists Dangerous?

The concept of covert narcissism, or as it’s also known, ‘vulnerable narcissism’ is a fairly recent one. Now, these terms may seem pretty harmless, but the reality couldn’t be any more serious. The truth is covert narcissists present themselves to the world as anxious, socially uncertain, sullen, and withdrawn, yet, in actual fact, they share the same grandiose and unemphatic traits as their exhibitionist counterparts 😱. That’s right, these folks are just as equally skilled in the dark arts of manipulation as overt narcissists, although, they tend to hide their true intentions with more finesse, making them even more dangerous. Learn here why they are so dangerous, what they do, and what they say.

5 Scary Things A Narcissist Smear Campaign Involves

We hear so much about these emotional abusers in every walk of life that we are sometimes so overloaded with information regarding them, meaning we often miss the red flags that, in hindsight, seem blatantly obvious. These vindictive manipulators often use smear campaigns as a way of getting back at their victims and villainizing them publicly. That's right, these evil campaigns are an effective method for them to change the narrative of the abuse, and to present themselves as victims, when in reality they are the perpetrators of the terror.

Are Narcissists Lonely?

Loneliness is one of society’s biggest enemies, and none of us are exempt from it, not even the most devilish of narcissists out there. In fact, throughout the Coronavirus pandemic, 36% of Americans claimed that they have never felt lonelier, which sets a scary benchmark for the wider population 😔. Now, lots of us would no doubt immediately assume that narcissists are too independent and strong-willed to feel alone, however, the truth is they are often the biggest victims of loneliness, yet simply have trouble expressing their inner malaise.

Why Do I Feel Bad When People Don’t Message Me Back?

Friday night rolls around and after a hard week you were expecting to have a drink with a girlfriend, but she seems to have left you hanging on read... To make matters worse (and the humiliation?) you even saw the little typing sign appear, yet you never received a reply. Well, if that’s the case, obviously you or your "how about a drink tonight?" didn’t deserve an answer. Let’s take a look at why some people don't reply to messages, and why when someone doesn't reply to your text, this makes us feel so bad.

Are Narcissists Insecure?

There is no denying that narcissistic personalities display some deeply worrying and disturbing traits, but what if these devious traits were just a means of protection? What if they were in fact a complete facade, fabricated to keep people away, in the hope of hiding their deepest darkest insecurities? 😱 After all, everyone has weak spots, even the most confident and put together of people, so why wouldn’t a narcissist deal with the same niggling doubts as everyone else? It's time we got to the bottom of this and discovered why these folks are so insecure.



Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist

wengood

  1. Only LoveBen Howard
    4:08
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
    4:55
  4. Beautiful DayU2
    4:08
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
    4:41
  6. White FlagDido
    4:00
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
    4:13
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
    3:17
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
    3:35
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
    4:24
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
    3:07
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
    4:37
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
    3:46
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
    2:17
  15. With Or Without YouU2
    4:56
  16. HelloAdele
    4:55
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
    3:29
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
    3:21
  19. WingsBirdy
    4:12
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar
    3:41

How to detect a narcissist

How to detect a narcissist

How to soothe an anxiety attack

How to soothe an anxiety attack