5 steps to overcome your fear of love
One or more relationships that end badly and bingo, you end up developing a fear of love. At the same time, it’s understandable that some experiences leave scars, especially if you’ve experienced toxic behavior such as ghosting someone.
Nonetheless, it’s important to work hard to overcome these emotional wounds so as not to sabotage a beautiful love story. It would be silly to get bogged down in your fears, but what can you do to move forward?
1. Identify your fear
Not everyone has the same style of love attachment, depending on their past. It’s therefore important to know what’s had a negative impact on your experiences so that you can move forward. Identifying what hurt you is essential if you’re to enjoy a calmer relationship. Ask yourself the right questions:
What type of partner am I looking for or avoiding? What are the reasons for this? What’s my history? My relationship with others? What scares me? Commitment? Fear of suffering? etc.
From there, it will be easier to work on your fears so that they don’t take over when a new relationship starts.
2. Think about your past relationships
Even if this step isn’t the most pleasant, it’s essential for building your plan of attack against your fear. Think back to the past trials and difficulties you had to face with your exes. For example, what was the reason for the break-up in each relationship? What problems did you encounter? But the most important question to ask yourself is whether you’re repeating the same pattern. Yes, when we have fears that eat away at us, we often repeat the same mistakes!
👋 You might be interested in this article: What are Gary Chapman's 5 love languages?
3. Don’t look for the perfect relationship
There’s no such thing as a Prince Charming or Disney Princess. Being unable to wait to meet the perfect person, that’s putting too much pressure on a potential relationship. Everyone has to deal with their emotions, otherwise, it’s all just fantasy. Yes, even the happiest couples that have spent 40 years together have arguments and even crises. Just as you shouldn’t expect yourself to be perfect all the time. Being afraid of not looking your best will cause you to miss out on unforgettable moments.
🚩 On the other hand, you should be careful that you meet someone who doesn’t have red flags, so you can be sure of starting off on a healthy footing!
4. Take your time
As they say, there’s no point in rushing into things. Even if you’re under pressure from other people, even if people tell you that no one will want you at your age... Already that’s not true, but also you need to listen to YOURSELF. Go at your own pace and enjoy being single. Spend time with the people around you, take the time to meet new people. Most importantly, get to know yourself first, and then the other person before embarking on a new relationship. This will avoid getting into a relationship with someone who’s not worth it.
5. Remain open
Avoid comparing this new relationship with the previous one, as this could make your partner feel awkward or embarrassed and put pressure on them. Don’t put obstacles in your way right from the start, and don’t close yourself off. You might be surprised to discuss your fears with your partner, who might amaze you and help you overcome them.
Whether you’re in a relationship or looking for love, it’s this positive philosophy of life that you need to keep in mind to combat fear and move forward more serenely 🤗.
Editor’s note: A fear that shouldn’t cripple you…Being afraid of love means being afraid of suffering, and that’s normal. There’s nothing more difficult to overcome than a break-up. However, this fear mustn’t go beyond a certain stage. Especially if this fear is preventing you from living or causing you to miss out on a relationship, then it’s urgent that you contact a psychologist to understand where this anxiety is coming from and how you can overcome it. Together, you’ll find solutions to get past this fear. Don’t wait to make an appointment. 🤗 Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... It’s here and now! #BornToBeMe |
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