What is penny dating?
Basically, it’s as though the woman’s a piggy bank, hence the name penny dating. When they first meet, the men put a large sum of money in the piggy bank, which means that they’re investing a lot. As time goes by, they decrease the “amount”, until they put just one penny in the piggy bank.
Translation: the more time goes by, the less they invest in the relationship and give less and less attention, that’s what penny dating is all about 😓...
A very toxic method
What we have here then is a technique used by toxic men who think they’re alpha males. Indeed, penny dating is cruel because it lowers women’s self-esteem. It’s a form of manipulation that destroys our standards, because we accept, without realizing it, to no longer receive the attention and affection we deserve.
It’s vicious because the men who do this are now just giving “a few pennies” and we, the victims, will be excited to receive a one-pound coin. It’s not healthy, because it belittles us 🤕. We’ll settle for the bare minimum and be on the lookout for the slightest crumb of attention, hoping to find the person we knew at the beginning of the relationship. Clearly, this is a way of locking ourselves into emotional co-dependency.
The reflection of a patriarchal society
It’s a narcissistic pervert’s technique that reflects a systemic problem that consists of putting women down more and more. It’s toxic masculinity and as Simone de Beauvoir said, we live in a society that values the power of men in relationships, rather than equality.
It’s important to remember the value you have as a woman, whether on a day-to-day basis or when embarking on a new relationship. It’s out of the question that we should accept behavior that harms us, and we need to set our limits as quickly as possible to protect ourselves as much as possible from these toxic men.
“Women are educated to become giving machines, and men to become receiving machines.” Mona Chollet
👋 You might be interested in this article: How do narcissists behave sexually?
How to spot penny dating?
I’m going to give you a few tips on how to spot penny dating a bit more clearly, based on my own experience because unfortunately, I’ve known some toxic men! In my opinion, you should be wary if:
- 👉 He declares his love quickly with an “I love you” that practically comes after meeting,
- 👉 He demands a lot of attention,
- 👉 He wants to see us all the time,
- 👉 The relationship moves very fast (moving in, baby, etc.).
Be careful, I’m not saying that these are necessarily red flags in all relationships, but I’d say that it’s better to favor gradual attachment, to avoid being trapped in an unbalanced relationship afterward ⚖️.
It may be flattering to see a man chasing after you, but you need to take a step back to see if it’s not hiding penny dating. It’s best to let the attachment develop naturally and gradually. A healthy relationship is based on mutual respect, balance, and personal growth.
Editor’s note: Danger!Now you know what penny dating is, if you have the slightest doubt, run! If your relationships are similar, if the same patterns and the same failures keep repeating themselves, then it’s important to work on yourself to understand these unconscious patterns, to be able to identify them and destroy them. Don’t hesitate to consult one of our psychologists.
🤗 Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... It’s here and now!
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