Where does candaulism come from?
The word candaulism originated in 8 BC, thanks to Candaule, the king of Lydia. Now, legend has it that King Candaule found his wife Nyssia so beautiful that he offered her to other men during sex, and the fantasy has lived on ever since. That being said, the practice has evolved, today, the internet plays a big role in this sexual practice or fantasy and gives men a platform to post personal images that expose their obviously consenting partner as a way of revealing her physical attractiveness.
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How is candaulism practiced?
There are different ways to make this fantasy a reality, including;
As a couple;
Here, one partner has sexual relations with a third person in front of their spouse, with the objective of arousing them.
In this instance, one partner has extramarital relations and goes home to tell their excited spouse all about it. They can also show them images of their lover undressing or otherwise exposing themselves. The idea is to get the temperature rising!
This is the sadomasochistic version of candaulism. Here, one partner and their lover dominate the remaining partner. Together, they insult and humiliate the third person in order to satisfy their pleasure.
Nowadays, may websites cater to people’s voyeuristic tastes and give them the possibility to post their partner on the internet, typically wearing very brief clothing, or even undressing. The images are usually of females, and when they are looked at by others and commented, they give the female’s partner huge gratification.
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Who practices candaulism?
Candaulism remains mainly a male fantasy, behind which raises the question of ownership of a woman’s body. In short, having a desirable, sexy woman that other men want excites these guys. When other people fantasize over their partners, it enhances their pride and satisfies him by knowing that she belongs to him. Now, when it comes to the sexual act between his partner and another person, it is primarily for her pleasure.
Are all sexual fantasies normal?
When it comes to sexuality, everything is normal. In the same way that we say that everyone dreams even if they are not aware of their dreams, we can think that most people have fantasies, even if they are not aware of their fantasies. The question is most often asked in consultation by women because they are much less aware than men of their fantasies, often by education. Some even think that it is sinful to have fantasies… However, a fantasy is a caress of the mind. If you caress the mind, it feels good. From that caress of the mind, you can sustain that. But most women don't know what to think. They don't know how to know if they are having fantasies. One of the relatively easy ways to find out is to see if scenes in a movie, not necessarily pornographic, make her react. She will then realize that it is always the same scenes that make her react. It means that these scenes are part of her fantasies. There is going to be an echo of her fantasies.
Editor’s opinion: Beware of the pitfalls!
These kinds of fantasies shouldn’t be taken lightly and can quickly turn into a disaster. The most obvious risk involves not acquiring the consent of the person in the photos where images are involved, and therefore becomes revenge porn. On the other hand, if sex with a third person is your thing, you’ll need to consider the jealousy factor too. The key to keeping things healthy in this instance is therefore good communication.
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