Gary Chapman’s 5 Languages Of Love

Last updated by Katie M.

Gary Chapman, now aged 82, is a marriage counselor to whom couples owe a great deal. His life project is all about saving relationships and getting couples through the difficult times. Seeing as love can come in many forms, and each one is different, we have all, at some point, struggled to understand our partner. A kiss on the forehead in the morning, some alone time at the end of the day… we can give and receive love in 5 different ways, but there's a lot of it out there! Discover the 5 main ways to express your feelings for your partner.

Contents:

« It's rare for husband and wife to have learned the same romantic language. » 

Gary Chapman

There are 5 love languages, which one is yours?

The trick to finding yours is by focusing on how you express your feeling. Might this be the secret to long-lasting relationships?

1. Physical contact

This type of language avoids words and so is perfect for those who struggle expressing their feelings out loud. From a very young age, we are receptive to being close to others; a child likes to sit on their parent’s lap. This desire for contact has never left me; we also like the feeling of being held in the arms of someone we love… Did you know hugging has powerful effects on us? A fulfilling sex life also allows us to express to our partner all the passion we feel towards them. Often, I fiddle with my partner’s hair when they are near me. Whatever you do, physical actions immediately create intimacy.

2. Comforting words

This is a more direct way of making your loved one know that you love them. Comforting words can take the form of praise or an unexpected compliment, because everyone expresses themselves differently. This is why saying “be careful” before they leave the house could be seen as a sign that you really care about them. So, think out loud and come up with words of encouragement or compliments you can say to your other half. Ever since I have been keeping track of the words that come out of my partner Jules’s mouth, I’ve realized love can come in many forms. Words are incredibly powerful and leave a mark on our behavior. They are always able to comfort us and make us feel better.

3. Steal some special moments

It’s all very well sharing the same house or apartment, but what really matters is the time spent together, just the two of you (or as a family). What’s important is the absence of external problems. So, I leave my worries on the doorstep, I turn off my smartphone and I dedicate time to the person I love. I create time in my timetable so that I can give my partner my full attention. No need to complicate things and go to a restaurant (even if you haven’t ruled that idea out yet…!), the simple act of hugging them, speaking to them about things, listening to them, going for a walk together, is enough to show them how important they are to you.

4. Being helpful

If my partner notices what I do to make them happy or help them out, they will most definitely feel supported and valued. Making their favorite meal because they’re going to be home late, doing the housework, looking after them when they’re ill… these are just a few simple acts that will demonstrate how much you care. They are often most noticeable at the start of a relationship, but we should never stop being aware of them.

5. Spoil him with presents

When you’re in love, you lose track of time… lots of hours are spent thinking about what to buy your partner and the romantic ways you can give them their present. Giving them a gift without expecting anything in return is proof to my partner that I have thought about them, and that I simply just want to make them happy. I don’t need to go overboard, nor do I need to wait for a particular moment to convey my love to them. Although, I did have to proactively do some spy work in order to find out what my partner is interested in, enough to get to know them a bit better, enough to show them that I care about what they like and dislike…

Expert’s opinion – we are more sensitive to certain acts than others

Although we can all appreciate these 5 languages of love, a hierarchy operates inside us. Some people prefer to spend time alone together as a couple in order to feel loved, whilst for others, meaningful conversations and comments and more important. That explains why it’s useful to know your partner’s expectations in order to avoid arguments and misunderstandings.

This will also prevent you from falling into the classic trap of giving someone else what you would in fact like to receive.
To avoid wasting time and energy, believing you can change your other half when you are quite simply missing the point, it’s time you calmly broached the subject.

Good luck with these languages of love!


These articles might also interest you:

Article presented by Katie M.

🌻 Discover the world through my eyes.

Read our latest articles here:

10 Weird Things Narcissists Do Sexually - Romance Is Dead

As with many things in life, narcissists also have unhealthy relationships with sex and treat it as nothing more than a self-gratifying activity. After all, manipulation, control, and emotional abuse are their so-called trusty weapons that they hide behind in most circumstances, so why wouldn’t they call on them in the bedroom too? The bottom line is people with this personality disorder are used to getting what they want and will only ever put themselves and their pleasure first, which doesn’t bode well for a healthy sex life. 🙈 Discover the weird things narcissists do in the bedroom and what you should do if you are involved with one.

What Are The Traits Of A Narcissist?

Whether it’s your boss, your partner, or even a family member; we are all very likely to come into contact with what’s known as a narcissistic at one point or another. Now, we hear so much about them and especially about how dangerous they can be for us, so how can we be prepared to avoid falling into a destructive spiral with one? Well, the best solution to avoid plunging into precarious territory with one, is knowing how to recognize their narcissistic characteristics. Indeed, all types of narcissists exhibit common behavioral traits and attitudes, so without further ado, let’s explore them and learn to spot them.

5 Scary Things A Narcissist Smear Campaign Involves

We hear so much about these emotional abusers in every walk of life that we are sometimes so overloaded with information regarding them, meaning we often miss the red flags that, in hindsight, seem blatantly obvious. These vindictive manipulators often use smear campaigns as a way of getting back at their victims and villainizing them publicly. That's right, these evil campaigns are an effective method for them to change the narrative of the abuse, and to present themselves as victims, when in reality they are the perpetrators of the terror.

What Do Narcissists Hate The Most? - 10 Things That Drive Them Crazy

Knowing what narcissist manipulators hates can help victims to break free from their evil psychological grip. Indeed, even these manipulators see themselves as invulnerable beings, their victims often ignore how their pathological narcissism makes them suffer in many ways. 😱 Let's take a closer look at what these cunning beings cannot stand, and what exactly drives them wild. Now, we all get angry for one reason or another, but people with this personality disorder have different triggers related to the things they despise.

Female Covert Narcissists

It’s time to set the record straight, although male narcissists typically get a lot of flack, yet, female covert narcissists are just, if not even more dangerous than the guys. These women are the definition of devious and know how to wrap people around their little fingers without anyone ever really catching on to their behavior and conniving ways. 🦹‍♀️ They are a force to be reckoned with and certainly never back down from the challenge of breaking someone’s soul. Here are insights into how to identify a female covert narcissist and how to deal with one.

What Is Candaulism?

Now, many of you are no doubt scratching your head wondering what candaulism means, but some of you must already know by now, and that would explain the recent spike in Google searches for the term. Candaulism is in fact a sexual practice in which a man exposes his female partner or photos of her, to other consenting people. This particular fantasy is therefore associated with exhibitionism. Although that’s not all, the term can also apply to a male partner watching his girlfriend or wife making love to someone else. So, let’s take a peep (get it?) at this practice.

Do Narcissists Enjoy Kissing?

Kissing is a deeply intimate act, and although in popular culture it is often classed as only being worthy of first base, it does in fact go way beyond that toxic evaluation. We have no doubt all had at least one lingering kiss that we’ll never forget; one which left all of our senses tingling and hungry for more. 💏 Well, that memorable smooch left us reminiscing because it was sincere and meant something. In short, it encapsulated love and romance, which are two things that narcissists are quite simply incapable of feeling.

What Is Narcissist Discard? - Here's Everything It Entails And How To Cope

The most important thing to understand when dealing with a narcissist is that their reign of terror won't last forever. Now, whilst their torment underway, it will no doubt be one of the most harrowing things you can mentally go through. However, when the abuser decides they've had enough of you, they'll halt their horrific abuse and look for someone else. People with narcissistic personality disorders are constantly on the lookout for new prey and when they find someone who fills their criteria, they'll move into the discarding phase of their plan. After all, they aren't very eco-friendly, their motto is out with the old, in with the new! Here's your guide to this coping through this stage; what to expect, and how to deal with it.

How Do You Know A Narcissist Is Cheating?

Narcissism is wholly incompatible with healthy relationships, which goes some way in explaining why people with this personality disorder always believe the grass is greener elsewhere. Indeed, fidelity isn’t something they excel in and adds to their exhaustive list of weaknesses alongside their love of manipulation and dishonesty. 💔 However, they are so cunning and crafty that catching them out and confirming your intuitions is no easy feat. To make things easier for you, here are the 10 signs you need to look out for if you believe your narcissistic man is cheating on you.

Can A Narcissist Become Obsessed With Someone?

Now, narcissists are known for demonstrating a worrying lack of empathy along with deviously manipulative traits, oh, and before I forget to mention it, HUGE egos too 😈. Yes, that’s right, they love spending hours looking in the mirror and being told how fabulous they are. To put it in other words, people with this personality disorder are firmly in love with themselves, to the point of being totally obsessed with their so-called perfection, but the question is, can they put their self-admiration aside enough to become preoccupied with someone else? If, on the other hand, you're looking to get a narcissist hooked on you, you're in the right place with these tips.



Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist

wengood

  1. Only LoveBen Howard
    4:08
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
    4:55
  4. Beautiful DayU2
    4:08
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
    4:41
  6. White FlagDido
    4:00
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
    4:13
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
    3:17
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
    3:35
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
    4:24
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
    3:07
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
    4:37
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
    3:46
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
    2:17
  15. With Or Without YouU2
    4:56
  16. HelloAdele
    4:55
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
    3:29
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
    3:21
  19. WingsBirdy
    4:12
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar
    3:41

How to detect a narcissist

How to detect a narcissist

How to soothe an anxiety attack

How to soothe an anxiety attack