Why Do I Get Upset When Someone Doesn't Text Back?

Is it normal if someone doesn’t reply to your text? 📱

Come on, admit it, you too have already said to yourself "I’ll answer later," leaving the message to quietly disappear into the background. While online exchanges seem to be instantaneous and almost as direct as a face-to-face conversation, you obviously spend a lot of time talking to a wall. Why is that? Well, it’s because no one responds within seconds to the message they receive, and this causes us all great anxiety!

There’s always a good reason not to reply to a text - Here are some of them

In an article for the American magazine The Atlantic, many specialists explain what can be the "good reasons" for not responding to a message.

• Problem of prioritization,
• Lack of desire,
• Lack of time
• An avalanche of messages
• At the end of the day, all reasons seem to be good for ignoring someone...

Unless, as the magazine reminds us, "Not responding to a message can also be a way to signal boredom, or dominance in a relationship, by pretending to be simply too busy to respond." Well, there you have it!

>>> This article might interest you: Why Is Sex So Difficult To Talk About?

"I’m overwhelmed"

Here’s the best one yet! No answer, still nothing, yet we patiently wait for 2 days and then get a "sorry I was busy, I’m overwhelmed" back. This is an insidious way to make people understand that if you have time to text for a drink, then your life must be meaningless. Except that, according to a study by the advertising agency Havas, 51% of workers admit to putting replying off because they are overwhelmed. Yes, today we love to say that we are too busy, even if it’s not really the case. It gives an excuse not to answer messages and also to feel superior to and even in control of the person you are talking to. Being overwhelmed avoids a feeling of emptiness and allows one to reassure oneself about one’s existence. Don’t be jealous if someone replies, "sorry I didn’t have time to answer you" to your texts. Your life is not empty or trivial, you just know where your priorities are... Unlike some of your friends…

>>> Check out; How to learn to say ‘no’ and assert yourself

Ghosting helps us avoid decisions

If you don’t know what ghosting is, it is in fact the art of leaving someone in the lurch without telling them, by simply stopping answering their calls, texts, emails, etc. In short, it involves disappearing and falling off the radar. This totally cowardly method is the demonstration of a very current problem; the difficulty of talking face-to-face. Rather than saying "no," "I can’t" or "goodbye," you forget to answer and let time pass. When we don’t answer a friend, who wants to go out for the evening for example, we feel guilty by saying that we’re busy and that it’s not as if we’ll never answer her again, but it’s also a way to avoid saying no to her. It’s also a good way to postpone any decision-making. Of course, the decision is often taken to avoid long-term upset and drama. In the worst-case scenario, it will ruin your night, but when you don’t know what to answer, you don’t need an answer and the problem is solved!

>>> Discover the reasons why ghosters always come back

It’s my phone, I make the rules

Finally, for the youngest among us, not to mention the fact that texting is a bit old-fashioned, the phone almost replaces friends. Psychiatrist Stéphane Clerger explains that "The phone takes the place of virtual friends and pets for young people. Apps unconsciously lead to an overvaluing of socialization and the continuous flow of uninteresting information. Young people are no longer able to prioritize what is important and what is not."

The recent Netflix documentary, The Social Dilemma, describes, among other things, how the giants of Silicon Valley proceed to make us addicted and spend as much time as possible on our screens with infinite scrolls and notifications. Lost in the middle of this flow, it’s difficult to capture someone’s attention with a simple text message. All the more since texting sometimes reminds us of a close reality that we don’t really want to confront, preferring that of social networks.

How to not get annoyed when someone doesn’t reply

Dealing with unreturned messages can be frustrating, but adopting a few strategies can help you manage your emotions and maintain your peace of mind.

• 1) Manage expectations: Understand that people have varying schedules, priorities, and reasons for not replying immediately. Recognizing this can help you adjust your expectations and reduce feelings of frustration.
• 2) Stay busy: Engage in other activities to distract yourself and reduce the focus on waiting for a reply. Staying busy with hobbies, work, or social interactions can help keep your mind off the delayed response.
• 3) Avoid assumptions: Resist the urge to jump to negative conclusions about why the person hasn’t replied. Instead of assuming they are ignoring you, consider that they might be busy, dealing with personal issues, or simply haven’t seen your message yet.
• 4) Practice patience: Cultivate patience by reminding yourself that immediate responses are not always realistic or necessary. Give the person time to reply at their own pace without taking it personally.
• 5) Communicate clearly: If delayed responses are a recurring issue, consider discussing it with the person directly. Express your feelings calmly and seek to understand their perspective, which can lead to a mutually agreeable solution and reduce future frustrations.
• 6) Self-reflection: Reflect on why the lack of response bothers you. Understanding your own emotional triggers can help you address underlying issues and develop healthier coping mechanisms for dealing with delayed communication.

We think you’d like this content: 

• What Is Gaslighting And Why Is It So Dangerous?
• How To Control Your Jealousy In A Relationship
• 7 Sweet Ways To Say I Love You Without Actually Saying It