I've Cheated On My Partner; Should I Come Clean And Confess?

Last updated by Katie M.

Um, now this is definitely a very tricky subject. Recently, I slipped up and let my desires and libido get the best of me. Yes, that's right, I gave into the passion and ended up cheating on my partner and the problem is I don't know what to do about it. If, like me, you are in this awkward position, the question is what do you do now? An affair is serious business and isn’t to be taken lightly. Should I come clean and confess my unfaithfulness or, should I take the silent road and keep this mistake to myself? Let’s take a look at both options.

Contents: 

Should you admit to cheating, or lie to your partner?

When the trust is broken in a relationship and lies are exposed, things can be hard to repair. Being open about your mistakes may seem daunting and unsurmountable, but that doesn’t mean everything has to come to an end! Although we like to think that relationships are completely transparent, they rarely ever are. That being said, spending your time lying to each other is absolutely unhealthy and will lead to the breakdown of your relationships. Wanting to have great clarity is good for you and those who are suffocated by jealousy.

The majority of couples cannot bear telling the true and being open when it comes to adultery. If you open up that you slept with a former flame, then why not call your mother-in-law out for whenever she bugs you. Telling the truth can at times seem to have a snowball effect and lead to things spinning more and more out of hand.

> Read; am I too demanding of my partner? <

Does cheating always come out? - In most cases, yes

You had a hell of a time with your ex, but the return to reality was brutal, leaving you with a bitter taste and a huge dose of guilt. That's just fine! Infidelity isn't for you. So why go and dump your guilt on your other half? Why harm their well-being, their peace of mind, make them suffer needlessly and complicate your relationship, or even end it? If you think that not revealing your secret means the ruining of your relationship, telling the truth will probably have the same conclusion.

It is hard to imagine that this revelation will be received with kindness and understanding. Truth does not repair infidelity, so make peace with yourself. If you want to, seek to understand the cause of the infidelity and get closer to your spouse without making a fuss, without arousing his suspicions.

> Dating Apps: 3 Advantages, 10 Disadvantages? <

You can cheat on a thousand people once, but you can't cheat on a thousand people a thousand times.

If we can get over this little slip up on the way, surely, we can get through anything. An extramarital affair does not deserve to end a relationship. A long infidelity or even a double life type endangers the future of couples. However, therapists agree that the confession of an extramarital fling gives couples the opportunity to improve their relationship by putting the finger on a deep problem.

Don't deny it and don't try to back your partner into a corner

So, should you confess to your affair or not? If your partner has doubts, asks questions, or gets suspicious, then there is no point in denying your actions because in doing this you’ll probably lose their trust permanently. Finally, let’s not forget to respect our partners and their wishes to stay in the dark. It is possible that your spouse has discovered your adventure, but prefers to close his eyes. Feigned ignorance is regularly much less painful than the truth. Some people even say that they resented their partner more for confessing infidelity than for committing it. For the serenity of each person and of the couple, the simplest thing would still be to avoid infidelity… if it is possible!

> Is flirting cheating or just harmless fun? <

How do you forgive yourself for cheating and not telling your partner? - 5 Steps to take

Not everyone is capable of looking their partner in the eyes and admitting to their wrongdoings. Now, if you’ve decided that you want to save your partner’s feelings and that you want to move forward hand in hand, you need to forgive yourself for your mistakes. The path to forgiveness may be a perilous one, but it’s an essential journey towards repairing your relationship in the future. Here’s how to forgive yourself;

  • 1) Take accountability - Hold your hands up and admit to yourself that you were out of line.
  • 2) Write down your feelings - Explore your emotions fully and listen to your heart.
  • 3) Be proactive in changing yourself - Aim to become a new and better person.
  • 4) Seek professional help - Open your heart to a therapist and truly listen to their advice.
  • 5) Start couples’ counselling sessions - Make things work better, together.

Editor's note - What if I decide to admit my affair?

If for you the moment to confess has come, take a few precautions so as not to add more drama to the mix. Keep in mind that your spouse won't be able to take everything in. Frankly, there are few people who want to imagine the person they love in bed with someone else. So be respectful and tactful, and don't go into the intimate details. Finally, kindness and caring should become your priorities.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy… Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

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