Wanting to be in control probably isn’t just restricted to your general organization, it no doubt spills into every area of your life. Emotions are also things people like us need to be in control of, whether it’s reigning in your fears, avoiding tears or dodging affection to sidestep judgement.
Why do I try to control everything?
Life is full of unexpected events, both positive and negative. These events, especially when they are unexpected often have a bigger impact on us than we think and only fuel our need to be in control. Taking control is synonym of feeling strong and powerful, or in other words a tactic to protect yourself from harm.
Perfectionism is often linked to the need for control. Oftentimes, if you attempt to micromanage everything you likely suffer from a lack of self-confidence and esteem. Wanting to direct everything could also imply that you are afraid of disappointing people and letting them down. Satisfying everyone is virtually impossible, but many of us convince ourselves that we can succeed in putting a smile on everyone’s face.
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Should I stop try to micromanage things?
The answer is yes! By trying to influence everything you lose who you really are and the disappointments that you’ll encounter could completely demoralize you. Coming across difficult obstacles is a natural part of life and cannot be changed no matter what you do or how hard you work.
When we take control issues too far, problems with depression could even appear when we encounter failure. Perfectionism often appears in cases where people have been through a divorce and are trying to work on themselves afterwards. On the surface, trying to be perfect doesn’t sound harmful, but in reality, it drives wedges in relationships with your partner and even yourself.
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How can I learn to let go?
The first step of letting go is learning how to relax. If you struggle to unwind, contacting a life coach could be the solution for you. Finding a haven of serenity will give you the foundations you need to forget about your troubles and takes your foot of the gas. Slowing down your rhythm will help you reconnect with your body and your loved ones.
The next step is learning to open up to other people naturally without controlling your emotions. Knowing how much you mean to your friends and family will make moments with them so much more special. Break down the barriers and reveal who you really are.