Why Do I Constantly Need To Be In Control?

Last updated by Katie M.

Wanting things to go well is perfectly normal, but sometimes this need for perfection can represent a huge barrier in our lives. Do you have trouble not giving in to the temptation of micromanaging everything in your life? Does leaving things to chance make you nervous and put you on edge? Where does your need to control everything come from? Letting go and becoming more easygoing will change everything for you and help you start living your best life. Discover how to let loose and free yourself from this need.

Why Do I Constantly Need To Be In Control?
Contents:

Wanting to be in control probably isn’t just restricted to your general organization, it no doubt spills into every area of your life. Emotions are also things people like us need to manage from A — Z, whether it’s reigning in your fears, avoiding tears, or dodging affection to sidestep judgment.

Where does my need for control come from?

Life is full of unexpected events, both positive and negative. These events, especially when they are unexpected, often have a bigger impact on us than we think and only fuel our need to be in control. Taking control is a synonym of feeling strong and powerful, or in other words, a tactic to protect yourself from pain.

Perfectionism is frequently linked to the need to manage everything. Oftentimes, if you attempt to micromanage everything, you likely suffer from a lack of self-confidence and self-esteem. Wanting to direct everything could also imply that you are afraid of disappointing people and letting them down. Satisfying everyone is virtually impossible, but many of us convince ourselves that we can succeed in putting a smile on everyone’s face.

>>> We think you might like; 10 morning routines that take less than 5 minutes

Should I stop trying to micromanage things?

The answer is yes! By trying to influence everything, you lose who you really are, and the disappointments that you’ll encounter could completely demoralize you. Coming across difficult obstacles is a natural part of life and cannot be changed no matter what you do, or how hard you work.

When we take control issues too far, problems with depression could even appear when we encounter failure. Perfectionism often appears in cases where people have been through a divorce and are trying to work on themselves afterwards. On the surface, trying to be perfect doesn’t sound harmful, but in reality, it drives wedges in relationships with your partner and even yourself.

>>> Discover the effects stress has on our skin

How can I learn to let go?

The first step of letting go is learning how to relax. If you struggle to unwind, contacting a life coach could be the solution for you. Finding a haven of serenity will give you the foundations you need to forget about your troubles and take your foot off the gas. Slowing down your rhythm will help you reconnect with your body and your loved ones.

The next step is learning to open up to other people naturally without controlling your emotions. Knowing how much you mean to your friends and family will make moments with them so much more special. Break down the barriers and reveal who you really are.

>>> 10 Tips on how to let go and feel freer than ever

Editor’s note — Take things step by step

Letting go of the reigns may seem like an insurmountable task, but it should be approached slowly and surely. The best place to start is by turning to people you trust to help you to plan things. If you have an event to plan, such as a birthday party or even a wedding, why not get a friend on board and take off some pressure. Letting other people into your personal bubble to assist you will restore your confidence and show you how helpful it can be in reducing your stress.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe


More interesting content:

Article presented by Katie M.

Discover the world through my eyes.

Read our latest articles here:

How To Make A Narcissist Fear You?

Now, I know what you’re thinking, scaring a narcissist is impossible, so, let me stop you right there because it’s totally false! Getting these awful manipulators to fear you is no easy challenge, however, there are certain things you can do that will help you turn the tables on them in no time. Letting these abusers know that they’ve met their match is the first important step toward the road to recovery, so I hope you’re ready for the journey. Here are 10 ways to scare a narcissist

What Exactly Does It Mean To Be An Extrovert?

I wish I could say loud and clear that I’m an extrovert, but not at all. I belong to the opposite team, the team of introverts. However, even though we don’t operate in the same way, that doesn’t prevent me from being surrounded by extroverts. I myself have a few moments when my introversion gives way to my extroversion, when I feel good, surrounded by a few people that I know well. So how does extroversion work? How is it different? What can you do to get on well with an extrovert? Let me explain.

Everything You Need To Know About Hyper-Empathy

Sometimes you’re devastated by your best friend’s break-up, sometimes you’re euphoric about your sister’s pregnancy... Sometimes it feels like other people’s emotions are invading you, so much so that you feel like you’re experiencing what they’re going through like it’s your own life. Have you ever felt this way? Maybe you’re affected by hyper-empathy, a characteristic not dissimilar to hypersensitivity. But what exactly is it? How do you distinguish between the two? And above all, how do you know if you’re hyper-empathetic? Let me explain.

8 Reasons Why All Narcissists Are Hypocrites

If you know anything about narcissists, you'll surely be aware that they are extremely overly judgmental and critical, especially towards other people. Their faultfinding stems from their perception of ultimate superiority, and therefore legitimizes them in holding people to intimidatingly high standards. However, although they may believe they are pretty much perfect, the reality couldn't be any more different, yet they are slightly more forgiving with themselves. That's right, they are huge hypocrites and go from one extreme to another in a split second. Here we discuss the reasons behind their hypocritical behavior.

Are Narcissists Born Or Made? - Let's Settle The Debate

There you have it, the nature vs nurture debate is back, only this time I want to focus it on those deviously manipulative personalities we refer to as narcissists. Now, evidently these folks get bad press and rightly so because they are often at the root of plenty of harm, but is it really their fault? Can they really be blamed for their terrifying and perhaps inherent traits, or are they simply just products and in this case victims of their environments? Let’s settle this debate once and for all and figure out how and when this disorder becomes apparent. So, are you born a narcissist or is it developed?

Why Do I Feel Bad When People Don’t Message Me Back?

Friday night rolls around and after a hard week you were expecting to have a drink with a girlfriend, but she seems to have left you hanging on read... To make matters worse (and the humiliation?) you even saw the little typing sign appear, yet you never received a reply. Well, if that’s the case, obviously you or your "how about a drink tonight?" didn’t deserve an answer. Let’s take a look at why some people don't reply to messages, and why when someone doesn't reply to your text, this makes us feel so bad.

How Does A Narcissist React When They Can’t Control You?

You probably know by now that narcissists only ever look for one thing and one thing only; and that’s control! Whether in their personal or professional life, folks with this personality disorder need to be in the driving seat and the one calling the shots, otherwise all hell breaks loose. Although their cunning and manipulative nature means they are often hard to escape, it is still possible to turn the tables on them and take the upper hand. Yet, you’ll need a thick skin to do so because when they feel their power slipping away, they become even more dangerous and abusive; here’s how they react when that happens.

How To Get Revenge On A Narcissist?

Narcissistic abuse is one of the most horrific challenges anyone can ever go through in life, but that’s not to say that their reign of terror will last forever. Evidently, breaking the cycle of abuse isn’t exactly straightforward, however, once the discard phase has been activated and victims realize that they can walk away with their heads held high, the revenge phase can commence. Unsurprisingly, getting even with a raging egocentric narcissist needs to be carefully planned, but ironically, their self-centered personalities expose to many axes of revenge, which will evidently really get to them…

How Do Narcissists Behave Sexually?

As with many things in life, narcissists also have unhealthy relationships with sex and treat it as nothing more than a self-gratifying activity. After all, manipulation, control, and emotional abuse are their so-called trusty weapons that they hide behind in most circumstances, so why wouldn’t they call on them in the bedroom too? The bottom line is people with this personality disorder are used to getting what they want and will only ever put themselves and their pleasure first, which doesn’t bode well for a healthy sex life. Discover how they behave in the bedroom and what you should do if you are involved with one.

Can A Narcissist Become Obsessed With Someone?

Now, narcissists are known for demonstrating a worrying lack of empathy along with deviously manipulative traits, oh, and before I forget to mention it, HUGE egos too. Yes, that’s right, they love spending hours looking in the mirror and being told how fabulous they are. To put it in other words, people with this personality disorder are firmly in love with themselves, to the point of being totally obsessed with their so-called perfection, but the question is, can they put their self-admiration aside enough to become preoccupied with someone else?

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

How to detect a narcissist


"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde


How to soothe an anxiety attack