Amid the fear of failing hides another fear that is less often spoken about, and that's the fear of succeeding. Doing well isn’t necessarily the key to happiness, that’s why there may be times when we fear it. Although it might seem strange, when we start to achieve our personal goals, we open ourselves up to a wave of new emotions that aren't exactly always easy to deal with. When we are caught off guard by our results, we often go into panic mode and struggle with this concept, however that's not to say we should let this hold us back.
Although some people are willing to do anything to get to the top and realize their objectives, this is certainly not the case for everyone. Just like failure, success can disrupt life and disturb our tranquility.
It’s rare for prosperity to be achieved within our daily lives. It’s often the result of time-consuming work that has to be carried out off the beaten track. To accomplish things, you have to surprise and be surprised. It’s impossible to rest on your laurels, and this isn’t easy to do. Stepping out your comfort zone requires strength and energy, something we don’t always have.
How can I accept this promotion if it will take me away from my office, from my colleagues? Why should I embark upon this project if I risk losing time and money? Success sometimes requires big changes that might scare us.
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Accomplishing new feats inevitably involves being put center stage. Not everyone can stand being put in this position, especially when personal achievements are often frowned upon and act as a source of envy and suspicion. But that’s not all. It’s not uncommon for some women to carry out self-sabotage, fearing they might be more successful than their partner and outshine them. Many are also scared of succeeding and outperforming their family members, especially their parents. Psychologically, it’s not easy for everyone to reach a position higher than that of their parents. In some families, it’s not even readily accepted. So in order to not feel excluded, it’s common to shy away from being a high achiever.
Lack of self-confidence is often linked to the fear of achieving amazing things. Am I capable of pulling this off? Am I up to the task? Am I going to manage? By repeating these questions to ourselves, we prevent ourselves from making progress along the path of glory.
Once at the top, falling will be harder and more painful. This apprehension is sometimes the cause of fearing achievements. After pulling off a great feat, we are often scared that everything will stop and that we will fail once again, which will feel more even more brutal. These negative thoughts have a significant impact on us and drag us away from the path of greatness. You have to understand that life is full of ups and downs, and so fearing failure means fearing success. They go hand in hand.
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The first step in overcoming your fear of failure is to tell yourself that you will fail in every case. You don't have to be afraid of something that is inevitable and will surely happen or recur over time. It is almost impossible to get it right the first time, even the people you admire most or who have made a mark with their success will tell you that. To be successful, you have to go from failure to failure, learn from your mistakes, and correct your course until you get what you want. You have to be patient and learn to put things into perspective. If you accept the idea that failure is inevitable, you can focus your energy on your projects and not on trying to control your fear of failure.
Tell yourself that failure is only a temporary state. After a failure, you must bounce back and start again to conquer your ultimate goal. Failure can teach you a lot about yourself and help you realize things that you would not have noticed otherwise and that could have spoiled your future success. It is also important to put things into perspective: tell yourself that this failure can help you make a new start, and that you may have gone down the wrong path. Reconsider your motivations, but always follow your passions no matter what. To keep things in perspective, you can also make a list of all the different scenarios that could have happened. The one that actually happened is not so bad after all! Stay optimistic and positive in all circumstances. Or almost.
The best way to overcome the fear of failure is to have confidence in yourself. Foremost, you have to define your goals and remain realistic. Perhaps you are afraid of failure because deep down you know that the goals you have set are almost impossible. Refocus on your strengths and qualities and make the right decisions. Don't hesitate to ask for advice from people who have succeeded in the same type of initiative. To strengthen your self-confidence, don't hesitate to prepare yourself for failure. This way you will have already anticipated the worst and will know exactly where you are going and what to do if failure occurs.
The solution is to set up a strategy for success, here you can be accompanied by a coach who will guide you on this path, bring out the best in you and give you confidence. You can also acquire the skills you lack, legitimize your know-how, and move forward step by step. The important thing is to always keep in mind your successes, no matter how small, and even your failures because they help you grow. A failure is only really a failure when you do not tirelessly repeat your actions until you achieve success. Think of athletes or politicians, this is how they act all the time. You can do it too, and above all, never give up!
Editor's Advice – Look out for avoidance strategiesWe are still not conscious of our fear of achievement. It is sometimes hiding in small behaviors that we have, which are in fact avoidance strategies we put in place. Procrastination, perfectionism, only being able to see problems, avoiding unknown situations are all self-control behaviors that cover up our fear of succeeding. |
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"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."
- Oscar Wilde
