Why Is A Narcissist So Mean To Me? - Reasons Why They're Nasty

Last updated by Katie M.

Narcissists are certainly complicated creatures, and it doesn't take a lot for them to decide that they are going to make your life a living hell. That's right, their sensitivity coupled with their need to conserve their lies make them very vicious and potentially dangerous in what they are prepared to do to preserve their identity. Discover the 10 reasons why a narcissist is being so mean and hateful towards you. Time to find out what triggers their bullying instincts!

Why Is A Narcissist So Mean To Me? - Reasons Why They're Nasty

Now, of course, not everyone has to get along with every person they meet. However, one of the most important running themes for people with this disorder is how nasty they can be with such little provocation. What I'm trying to say is that it doesn't take a lot to get these evil beings to reveal their scheming side.

10 Reasons why a narcissist is bullying you 😨

Discover why they are being so unforgiving towards you. 

1) They have a warped vision of you

Narcissistic people have very inflated egos, which can lead them to view others as mere objects to be used for their own gain. In fact, no matter how hard you try, or how pleasant you are towards them, they'll constantly find ways to put you down. If you don't make a great first impression on these folks, then you can expect to always remain in their bad books, because they are simply too proud to change their minds. Plus, they have a knack for being completely insensitive to genuine kindness.

>>> Read; How to make a narcissist fear you.

2) You are a threat to them

Have you ever met someone who you felt inexplicably intimidated by? Well, for a narcissist, this is a regular occurrence, yet it, unfortunately, unleashes their ugliest traits. Whenever they feel uneasy around anyone, they'll instantly get working on a malefic plan to tear them down and make them feel small. And, the bad news is that they'll stop at absolutely nothing until they've turned the tables on you...

3) You don't play into their hands

There's nothing more frustrating for these professional gaslighters than people not buying into their lies, and going along with the facade they've carefully constructed. For them to exist and be able to successfully manipulate their victims, they need people to believe them. They need for others to hold them in high esteem and think that they are upstanding citizens, who'd never intentionally put a foot wrong.

>>> Discover; What is gaslighting?

4) They are jealous of you

Whether it be because of your dazzling career, cozy family life, or solid relationship, these manipulators are always jealous. In fact, their jealousy is so intense, that it can at times become dangerous and push them to do unthinkable things. Instead of being happy for their so-called friends and family whenever anything good happens, they choose to let envy and rage consume them.

5) You've done something to offend them

You're no doubt racking your brain right now in an attempt to figure out what you could have possibly done to unearth such hate. But, believe me, save your energy and definitely avoid beating yourself up over things, because anything can offend a narcissist, and I mean anything! Whether it's taking too long to reply to a text or not agreeing with their choice of a favorite movie.

6) People are instantly attracted to you

This point almost feeds into the previous one on the jealousy aspect. Now, narcissist traits mean that they aren't exactly nice people, and therefore don't have much success in love or friendship, which by the way makes them extremely bitter. Of course, these abusers see themselves as fabulous in every sense of the word, so can't quite work out why no one really wants to be around them, whereas others seem to get along with new people really effortlessly.

7) You are strong enough to expose them

Dealing with a narcissist is quite frankly a tough job, especially when they are afraid of you. Now, we can say all the bad things in the world about these folks, however, we must recognize how talented they are when it comes to analyzing people. Within seconds of meeting new people, these emotional abusers will have worked you out and assessed how on the ball you are with regard to their actions and motivations.

>>> Read; How to expose a narcissist

8) You openly call them out

Questioning someone with a narcissistic personality disorder's lies is like showing a red rag to a bull. It will only enrage them and make them more determined to make you suffer. Letting them know that you are onto them will certainly get them to spill all of their hate for you.

9) You are secure and confident in yourself

If a narcissist hates you, it's no doubt because you exude self-confidence and have great self-esteem; two things that they will never have, no matter how hard they try to convince themselves. In reality, these meanies are deeply unhappy with themselves and envy those that are comfortable enough to be genuine and authentic.

10) They feel inferior to you

As for this last point, it is certainly the most simple. If an emotional abuser is being relentlessly mean to you, it's because they feel completely irrelevant compared to you, and are afraid that other people will soon pick up on this.

>>> Read about having an inferiority complex

📍 FAQ - What causes a narcissist to be so mean? 📍

Narcissistic people can appear mean because of their egocentric behavior and lack of empathy towards others. Their obsession with themselves and their constant need for validation can lead them to manipulate and use others to satisfy their own needs and desires. Their desire to maintain a positive self-image can lead them to devalue and criticize others to make themselves feel superior. Their meanness may also stem from their emotional fragility, as any questioning of their greatness can threaten their fragile self-esteem. As a result, they may react with anger, rage or revenge to protect their ego. Their nasty behavior may be a strategy to keep others at a distance and avoid abandonment or rejection. It's important to remember that the spiteful behavior of narcissistic people is linked to their personality and deep-rooted thought patterns, and it can be difficult for them to change or empathize with others.

What to do when a narcissist is being mean? - The ultimate guide

If you are faced with a person who seems toxic, even dangerous, and you are in a situation where you cannot escape them, it is important to protect yourself. Behind the desire to trap a narcissist, there are 4 techniques that will allow you to thwart their stratagems.

1) Be firm

Once you have identified the narcissist’s modus operandi, the ideal is to be able to remove yourself from the relationship as much as possible. In a relationship where you are forced to be around the pervert, it is important to learn to set your boundaries and reaffirm them as much as necessary.

2) Demand clarity

This method allows us to exert influence by using language, as a means to create confusion in the interlocutor. This will make them more malleable, while inducing what the pervert wishes, to serve their means and their interests, concrete or relational, in a perspective of psychological domination.

3) Avoid any emotional expression

When confronted with a narcissist, you must absolutely protect yourself and give as little as possible to their attempts at manipulation because their only goal is to destroy you for their own pleasure. It is not uncommon for their victims to end up suffering from narcissistic victimization, a common syndrome, after being manipulated and abused by this toxic personality.

>>> Read; How to better manage our emotions

4) Find the manipulator's weakness

Although they may seem all powerful at first glance, the manipulator's weakest point lies primarily in their image. They need to be admired to feel legitimate, and spend a lot of time maintaining their reputation. It is not a question of getting revenge on this character, but rather of protecting oneself by finding the manipulator's weak point and using it against them.

Editor's opinion - Bullying is their specialty

I’m not going to pretend that ignoring the bullying is easy because the truth is the total opposite. However, what I do want you to retain from this is that you are an innocent victim in the abuser’s tirade. You have done absolutely nothing to warrant their anger and hate towards you. They are the ones with the unresolved issues here, not you, which is why it’s so important to remove yourself from this toxic situation.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!


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How to detect a narcissist?

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"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde