Managing your emotions to stop the suffering
Don’t stifle your feelings
For some people, emotions are uncontrollable, which means that we suffer more than anything else. That’s why it’s important to understand yourself in order to detect hypersensitivity, for example. We’re not all equal when it comes to our feelings!
Some people try to stifle their emotions as if they were trying to put a lid on a boiling pot. Trying to bury what you feel isn’t a solution; on the contrary, it actually makes the situation worse. Sooner or later, the emotions will come back! Like an injured animal, there will be aggression and overreactions.
🧠 You have to learn to decipher your feelings to live better. To do this, you must know the 4 main emotions.
Understand to better react
Before wanting to manage our emotions so as not to suffer, we must learn to understand them. We shouldn’t be afraid of our emotions, but rather examine them in order to heal what ails us. To do this, it’s important to understand the 4 main emotions:
- joy with its variations: euphoria, enthusiasm, surprise, etc.
- fear with its variations: mistrust, anxiety, doubt, susceptibility, etc.
- anger with its variations: pride, aggression, disdain, etc.
- sadness with its variations: sorrow, nostalgia, empathy, etc.
Having these 4 categories in mind allows us to quickly analyze the origin of our emotions. In everyday life, we may ask ourselves questions to understand where the feeling comes from: Why do I feel aggressive when I see this person? Where does the sorrow I feel this morning come from? Why do I feel emotional in this place? …
➜ The idea is to identify the signals our body and mind send in different situations. Once we’re aware of this, we can channel our emotions.
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How to avoid being overwhelmed by your emotions?
Anticipate to manage better
Once we’ve identified the origin of each of our emotions, anticipating enables us to be better prepared. For example, in my job as a photographer, I have to cover weddings. It’s a huge amount of pressure and I worry about messing up the photos. As a result, I anticipate by preparing my equipment, scouting the location, exchanging a lot with the bride and groom-to-be, etc. This reduces my stress level and I feel less scared.
🤕 It’s a question of identifying why I’m scared (of failing at my job, disappointing my clients) to better channel my emotions, which are likely to lead me to make mistakes. It’s by anticipating that I managed to turn my hypersensitivity into a strength!
Adopt a zen attitude
Having a neutral and balanced mental state, no matter what happens, allows us to better apprehend them. For example, mindfulness meditation is an excellent tool for taking a step back from our thoughts and therefore our emotions. You must learn to observe in a detached way so as not to let them invade you. Be careful, it’s not about annihilating your emotions by doing that!
➜ For example, when someone says something disrespectful about us, it’s often to provoke us into a counterattack. If we stay calm and don’t show any anger or frustration, the other person will calm down and feel stupid in most cases.
Managing yourself and what you feel allows you to form a solid mental state in order to achieve peace of mind. Not letting yourself get overwhelmed by the small details of everyday life will allow you to live more serenely.
>>> Find out why taking care of our mental health is so important
Getting help to channel your emotions
Speak to someone to manage your emotions
Having an understanding ear to talk to is essential to understand the legitimacy of our emotions. Furthermore, having a more external viewpoint can help us to manage stressful everyday situations better. You may see a psychologist, but consulting a sophrologist or any other alternative medical practitioner can also be a solution. Everyone has to find the solution that suits them! However, there are methods used by psychologists and psychiatrists to help us manage our emotions better.
Which therapy to manage your emotions?
The therapy that seems the most suitable for helping manage emotions is neuro-linguistic programming (NLP). This method brings together techniques to improve personal problems in order to understand ourselves better. The techniques used are specific to communication by analyzing our reactions rather than the origins of our behaviors. The “how” is favored over the “why” to improve the perception we have of ourselves and our emotions.
💪 Being sensitive and feeling is nothing to be ashamed of. It just has to be in the right dose to make our hypersensitivity a superpower!
Editor’s note: Welcome your emotions
Too often we tend to make our emotions into something negative and yet isn’t it a good thing to feel? Keep in mind that emotions are only temporary, you’re angry or sad at this precise moment. Let the wave pass, accept what you feel and welcome your emotions. It’s the key to controlling them better.