What Happens When The Narcissist Knows You've Figured Them Out

Last updated by Katie M.

Dealing with a narcissist is never simple because let's face it, these folks aren't exactly the most reasonable or stable people around. Now, due to the fact that they are quite simply obsessed with being in control and particularly concerned with how they are perceived, they don't exactly take being exposed very well. Indeed, once they realize that you are on to them and have sussed out their behavior, they become very vindictive and plunge their victims into a further world of pain. Here are 10 things they often do when the jig is up.

What Happens When The Narcissist Knows You've Figured Them Out

Exposing a narcissistic partner will undeniably drive them crazy. That's right, for them, being figured out and shamed for their vicious behavior is pretty much synonymous with losing all of their power. When they work out that you are on to them, you must expect some unusual yet truly toxic reactions, including;

10 Things narcissists do when their victims figure them out

1) They'll give you the silent treatment

When these toxic folks realize that their narcissistic supply is drawing to an end and drying up, they'll immediately shut down on you and head for the hills. That's right, their instant response will be very immature, however, by going totally silent on you, they convince themselves that this is their last act of abuse. Indeed, they believe that the less information they give you about why they behave in such awful ways, the more pain they inflict on you. After all, they want you to suffer, and hate the idea of you moving on.

2) They'll claim YOU'VE damaged their mental health

If you've ever been in a toxic relationship beforehand, you'll know that these people are grade-A liars! Making their victims feel bad is their forte, and they certainly won't hold back when it comes to drumming up sympathy. When they feel you slipping through their grasp, they won't hesitate when it comes to turning on the waterworks and making you look like the bad guy. This explains why you must expect them to make claims about you being the toxic partner, and your attitude taking a toll on them.

3) They'll begin a smear campaign

Once these toxic manipulators feel that the jig is up, they won't waste any time in starting up narcissistic smear campaigns, with the aim of dragging their victim's name through the mud. Essentially, the goal here is to create a completely different narrative, in which they paint themselves out to be the victims of the awful abuse.

4) Their rage will spiral out of control

Whenever the end is nigh, these folks do typically act in fairly predictable ways, but that doesn't necessarily mean they become any less scary or any less intimidating for that matter. Here, you can expect abusers to fly off the handle regularly and into a narcissistic rage over pretty much anything. Indeed, once the pressure gets to them, and they realize that they are on the verge of losing everything, they unleash all of their anger and spiral totally out of control.

5) They'll look for sympathy from your family members and friends

Let's face it, when it comes to manipulating people and stepping over boundaries, these toxic personalities are complete experts in the field. When their victims have decided to put a stop to their campaign of abuse and mistreatment, they'll instantly act out and try to steal their friends and family away from them. They'll basically do whatever it takes to get those close to their victims on their side, even if it involves lying and creating a false narrative.

6) They'll refuse to let you break free

Once they feel that a trauma bond has been established, folks with a narcissistic personality disorder will refuse to let you walk away, despite their fear of being exposed. With you, they feel that they can do anything and everything without you kicking up too much of a fuss, so why would they change their attitude, and let you leave? After all, constantly manipulating someone is hard work, so why would they want to start from scratch when it comes to breaking someone else's spirit?

7) They'll crank up the love bombing

Love bombing is one of their favorite tactics and one they generally use at the beginning and the end of their relationships. When they sense that their victim has had enough, the abusers will shower them with expensive gifts and sweet compliments in an attempt to get them to stay by their side. You've guessed it, they'll try to buy their affection and forgiveness...

8) They'll panic

Now, there aren't many things that really worry a narcissist, but, the idea of being exposed for what they really are drives them crazy. In fact, it can force them to act out and become even more devious and evil. When they believe the relationship is coming to a definitive end and that they are losing control, they'll launch themselves into a frenzy of despicable madness.

9) They'll try to gaslight you

One of their techniques for getting their victims to stay by their side is gaslighting. At this point in the narcissistic abuse, they'll say and promise anything to get you to change your mind. This is where you particularly need to be strong because you certainly don't want to fall back into their trap of deceit. Despite what they promise you, you need to see through their lies and trust in your heart that you are doing the right thing by walking away.

10) They'll search for a new victim

When these manipulators realize that you've figured them out and are mentally prepared to move on, they definitely don't waste a second when it comes to finding more prey. For them, narcissistic supply keeps them going and gives them the amusement they need in order to feel powerful and important. Essentially, their victims are just numbers for them, and are easily replaceable, despite what has happened.

What scares a narcissist away? - 3 Things that terrify them

Contrary to popular belief, narcissists are in fact very weak people who will go to any lengths to hide their flaws, even if that means making other people’s lives hell. So, what is it that scares them off?

1) Disrespect 

Of course, no one likes disrespect. But because narcissists think highly of themselves, they need others to do the same. They don't tolerate it at all when someone treats them disrespectfully. It drives them crazy, and they take it very personally. They can hold grudges for years.

2) Rejection

Because they have a high opinion of themselves, narcissists can't stand rejection. They need to think that everyone is interested in them and that their whole life revolves around them. For them, rejection is a painful thing that makes them feel insecure, and they can't stand the feeling.

3) A tarnished image

Narcissists worry a lot about what others think of them. They are very careful about their image and reputation. If someone makes fun of them, it's the end of the world. They can't stand to be in a vulnerable position. Nevertheless, they can make fun of others and make fun of themselves without feeling bad.

Editor's opinion - Be prepared for a roller coaster ride

Walking away from a toxic partner is never an easy feat, however, your efforts to break free will always pay off in the end. Escaping a dangerous environment will always present lots of challenges, however, having the strength to push through them and prioritize your mental health is a testament to your values and is certainly something you ought to be proud of.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, and be happy... Let’s do it here and now!


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