I cry all the time. Yes, I know, that contradicts the idea of the article! I’m a very sensitive person, so crying is a way of getting rid of my emotions. However, some people just can’t cry. Someone close to me actually said to me recently, “Why can’t I cry when you can?” It’s partly for him that I’m writing this article today. To help him understand what’s holding him back, why his tears won’t flow. I’d like to think it will help you too and that this block will soon be behind you.
There are hypersensitive people, like me, who cry a lot and then there are those who are incapable of shedding a single tear. Not because they don’t want to, but because they just can’t, like this person I know. So I know how difficult and frustrating it can be, especially at very difficult times like during the stages of bereavement 😥.
So why is this? What is it that makes some people unable to get their tears out? There may be several answers, starting with a major emotional block.
>>> Read; Why does crying feel so good?
This is the number 1 reason I mentioned to my friend. Indeed, the inhibition of emotions is often the main cause of tears that don’t come out. By repressing all feelings, a real block sets in. These people have often been taught that showing their emotions is a sign of weakness, so they do everything they can to bury them deep inside. This bad management of emotions prevents them from connecting with themselves and being able to cry 😔.
A problem of upbringing Little boys are often told not to cry, that it’s only for girls. This sexist upbringing prevents men from developing and listening to their emotions. That’s why many men can’t cry, because they think it’s a sign of weakness. |
Repressive education is a scourge, but it could be much worse. Victims of physical and psychological violence disconnect from their feelings in order to protect themselves. This often happens during childhood, but this state of dissociation can also occur in adulthood when there is a very abusive relationship or trauma. Here again, the individual cuts themselves off from their emotions, not because of cognitive biases, but because they are defending themselves.
👉 It’s an unconscious survival mechanism! The lack of tears can be a major testimony to a complicated, even traumatic life path.
Unfortunately, psychological illnesses can also be the cause of a lack of tears, particularly because of anhedonia. This is a symptom that disconnects the sufferer from their emotions, especially in the case of depression. The brain’s neurotransmitters are unable to properly transport information and emotions, so crying no longer occurs. Torpor, brought about by schizophrenia, has the same mechanism and also causes poor transmission of feelings.
It’s also possible to suffer from more minor disorders, such as anxiety, and also have difficulty crying. Here it’s more a question of the thoughts provoked by the anxiety disorder, rather than a symptom.
And treatments 💊? Medication prescribed for certain mental illnesses can have the side effect of shutting down emotions. This is the case with antidepressants, which are selective inhibitors. |
Now that we’ve seen the main reasons for a lack of crying, some people may think that it’s not a problem. But it is because tears are just as necessary as smiles. Admittedly, we don’t solve our problems by crying, but tears do a lot of good and are very liberating. They relieve tension and allow us to calm down and take time. Once we’ve cried, we’ve evacuated a lot of negative emotions, and we can have a clearer mind to find a solution.
Tears also convey information, they’re a means of non-verbal communication. When we see someone crying, our empathy kicks in, and we try to help them. Unless we ourselves are disconnected from our emotions and don’t care. It’s quite typical of narcissists by the way...
“There’s something sacred about tears. They’re not signs of weakness, but of strength. They’re the messengers of immeasurable sorrow and unspeakable love.” - Washington Irving - |
You do what you’re doing. If you’re reading this article, it’s because you’re looking for a way to understand what’s causing the block. Finding the origin allows you to act on the consequences, namely not crying 😢. Obviously, this introspection is difficult to do alone, and the best thing is to consult a therapist, or even a psychiatrist, especially if there are symptoms of depression or another psychological illness.
It’s a long and tedious job, but it’s crucial to relieve your emotions. Some people take up sport, meditation or even therapeutic writing to take a dual approach. However, when there’s emotional suffering, this remains superficial work and doesn’t allow you to go deeper and meet your emotions. That’s why therapy remains the best option for reconnecting with yourself and your tears.
Editor’s note - A sign of courageCrying isn’t a sign of weakness, but of courage. It takes courage to reach inside yourself and show your emotions. However, not everyone can do this, as Camille explained. Cognitive behavior therapy or EMDR therapy, in the case of trauma, are both suitable when you have a block. Don’t hesitate to seek help now so that you can move forward and connect with your emotions. 🤗 Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... It’s here and now! #BornToBeMe |
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Article presented by Lauren Hart
Writing is a beautiful means of expression that I cannot do without. It has allowed me to channel my hypersensitivity, plus I love writing about psychology and personal development. For me, self-understanding is the best way to move forward!
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