What Is Social Anxiety, And How Can It Be Treated?

Last updated by Lauren Hart

“You should come, you’ll see, so you can be introduced to everyone!” For me, there’s nothing worse than hearing that phrase. Whatever the context, professional or personal, it’s something that drives me away, because it activates my social anxiety. Yes, being confronted with other people, especially when there are a lot of them, stresses me out. Do you feel the same way? Then let’s talk about it.

What Is Social Anxiety, And How Can It Be Treated?

Why do I suffer from social anxiety?

It would be easy to say that it’s because I don’t like other people that I’m like this 😅. I admit I’m an introvert and like to recharge my batteries alone (or with my partner). However, the causes lie elsewhere than in misanthropy. For some people, social anxiety (also known as social phobia) has its origins in childhood, particularly at school. Yes, bullying at school is a big trigger, and that was the case for me. It can get worse as the years go by, especially during adolescence, when you’re confronted with the gaze of others a lot. It’s hard to develop when you feel that others are going to judge you, especially if you don’t fit in with the norms and standards.

Of course, all this is hiding something else: a lack of self-confidence. This can be caused by traumatic experiences, such as bullying, but also by our own thoughts. Just like when we’re told that we’re hypersensitive, social anxiety reflects a poor psychological construction of the self.

How to recognize it

From the outside, I imagine that social anxiety translates as shyness. I can assure you that it goes much deeper than that. It’s a real, gut-wrenching fear that prevents us from living the way we want to. We tell ourselves we’re going to make a blunder, that others will stare at us, or even worse, judge us. In fact, we’re paralyzed by our anxious thoughts of anticipation 🤕.

In more concrete terms, if you want to take a test to find out if you suffer from this type of anxiety, there’s the Liebowitz scale. There’s a good “chance” you’re affected if:

  • ✅ You’re afraid of what other people think, of being judged or criticized,
  • ✅ You’re afraid of aggression and hostility,
  • ✅ You fear that others will want to get closer to you,
  • ✅ You have uncontrollable physical reactions (blushing, trembling, sweating, etc.).
Join the club
According to recent studies, between 1.7% and 4.7% of us suffer from social anxiety 😥.

The consequences of anxiety

Let’s not forget the consequences it can have on our lives. The main problem is that it prevents us from living the way we want to. We deprive ourselves of evenings out with friends, sporting events, time with colleagues, etc., because the fear is too overwhelming 😖.

Not to mention that it can also lead to other difficulties, such as the fear of failing (an exam, when speaking in public, etc.). If you don’t do things, you don’t fail, but you don’t progress either. There’s a real problem asserting yourself or even expressing your opinions. In short, social anxiety can have a huge impact on the life of the person affected, so how do you make it go away?

👋 You may be interested in this article: What's the perfect morning routine to ease anxiety?

How can I overcome this social phobia?

I say that I suffer from social anxiety, but in reality it’s improved a lot. In fact, when I saw that it was depriving me of opportunities that I really wanted, I wanted to change. Because that’s the sinews of war, the desire to get away from your reassuring habits. It’s really not easy, and I still sometimes activate a defense mechanism and refuse to attend an event so as not to feel anxious.

Awareness is important, but it doesn’t solve everything. When we’re confronted with negative emotions, I can assure you that we prefer to run away. It’s normal, it’s our brain that sends us this message to protect us. You need to learn to untangle the knots of anxiety little by little, and you can do this with the help of a therapist.

Therapy as the main help

For me, this is what helps the most (yes, it still does!). A psychologist can help us to understand the origins of our anxiety and then apply an appropriate form of therapy. CBT is a good way of dealing with compulsive thoughts, while EMDR therapy is more suitable for people who’ve experienced trauma. However, whatever the form of therapy, the important thing is to identify the reasons for our fears so that we can stop being trapped by them.

Editor’s note: The need to understand

Social anxiety is a real handicap for sufferers. It has a full impact on the lives of sufferers, which is why you need to take action. Of course, as Camille said, a trigger can reinforce the desire to change your perception of things, but you also need to look at yourself with a great deal of kindness. After all, you have social anxiety for a reason. Understand where it comes from so that you can move forward and flourish. Yes, it’s possible!

🤗 Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... It’s here and now!

#BornToBeMe

Be sure to check out these articles too;

Article presented by
Lauren Hart

Writing is a beautiful means of expression that I cannot do without. It has allowed me to channel my hypersensitivity, plus I love writing about psychology and personal development. For me, self-understanding is the best way to move forward!

Read our latest articles here:

What Are The 6 Types Of Narcissism?

There are a whole range of narcissistic personalities out there, and they scale from highly toxic to rather positive (surprising, right?!). That being said, most mental health experts agree that there are 6 types of narcissistic profiles, which whilst they may all be based on an inflated sense of self-esteem, they are in reality all drastically different, and more or less severe. When it comes to dealing with this type of personality disorder, it’s best to know what you are up against, in order to react appropriately, as well as to avoid falling into their traps and becoming their latest victim. After all, knowledge is power, and that’s never be truer than in this particular context.

10 Weird Things Narcissists Do Sexually - Romance Is Dead

As with many things in life, narcissists also have unhealthy relationships with sex and treat it as nothing more than a self-gratifying activity. After all, manipulation, control, and emotional abuse are their so-called trusty weapons that they hide behind in most circumstances, so why wouldn’t they call on them in the bedroom too? The bottom line is people with this personality disorder are used to getting what they want and will only ever put themselves and their pleasure first, which doesn’t bode well for a healthy sex life. 🙈 Discover the weird things narcissists do in the bedroom and what you should do if you are involved with one.

Are Narcissists Born Or Made? - Let's Settle The Debate

There you have it, the nature vs nurture debate is back, only this time I want to focus it on those deviously manipulative personalities we refer to as narcissists. Now, evidently these folks get bad press and rightly so because they are often at the root of plenty of harm, but is it really their fault? Can they really be blamed for their terrifying and perhaps inherent traits, or are they simply just products and in this case victims of their environments? Let’s settle this debate once and for all and figure out how and when this disorder becomes apparent. So, are you born a narcissist or is it developed?

Why Your Boyfriend Gets Defensive When You Talk About My Feelings

Relationships are never exactly straightforward, and at points, a crystal ball wouldn’t go amiss when it comes to understanding what your partner’s reactions are hiding. Now, sadly not all of us own a trusty crystal ball, but our experience when it comes to love is just as precious in analyzing potential pitfalls related to emotions. This may sound a little cliché, but us girls love talking about our feelings, whether that be about when we are falling in love, or when we are feeling sad. Yet some guys get really defensive whenever these serious topics come round, here’s why.

How Long Will A Narcissist Rebound Relationship Last?

Narcissist rebound relationships generally last anywhere from 6-months to a year. Now, whilst the timeframe depends on each individual, these twisted personalities usually head into these relationships with a plan in mind, meaning they know exactly when and where they'll break things off. Plus, when they are in the final stages of a relationship with you, they are no doubt in the process of grooming their next victim. That's right, the need for a constant narcissistic supply means that they aren't likely to date any one person for an extensive period of time. For them, they require fresh blood every 6-months or so because they simply get bored. Let's take a look at the reasons why they keep their rebounds short, but not so sweet.

Is Sleeping With A Colleague Or Your Boss A Dangerous Game?

I’ve had a crush on someone at work before. Honestly, if I hadn’t found out later that he was in a relationship, I’d have gone all out to seduce him. Except that we all know the “No sex at work” rule, which means that it’s a bad idea to sleep with a colleague, or worse, your boss! Is it really that dangerous a game? What do you risk if you’re caught in the act? I’ll explain it all to you (yes, I did my homework before going for it)!

I’m Having Doubts About My Relationship

This happens often. Since life in a relationship, and even love, are never a smooth ride, of course, I have my doubts 😵‍💫. Not on the same wavelength, the impression that the grass is greener on the other side, different plans… Under the weight of doubts, love loses its splendor. Can it be fixed? I don’t think so, but the important thing is to know how to react.

What Is Candaulism?

Now, many of you are no doubt scratching your head wondering what candaulism means, but some of you must already know by now, and that would explain the recent spike in Google searches for the term. Candaulism is in fact a sexual practice in which a man exposes his female partner or photos of her, to other consenting people. This particular fantasy is therefore associated with exhibitionism. Although that’s not all, the term can also apply to a male partner watching his girlfriend or wife making love to someone else. So, let’s take a peep (get it?) at this practice.

Create a Peaceful Living Space

For years, I didn’t really take care of my home. Not that it was dirty, but there was no particular decoration, and most of all, a lot of clutter. Then one day, I decided to do a major decluttering! I thought it would be a dreadful task, but in the end, I realized that organizing my apartment also helped clear my mind. We often overlook this, but having a peaceful living space truly makes a difference!

Mature Love: How Do Relationships Evolve Over Time?

They say that love is like fine wine: it evolves, matures, and becomes even more delightful with time. I say "they say," but in reality, I’m certain of it. Even though I’m single as I write this article, I’ve experienced long-lasting love stories, and there’s nothing quite like reaching mature love—the kind that provides security and support. That’s why today, I want to talk to you about how romantic relationships evolve!



Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist

wengood

  1. Only LoveBen Howard
    4:08
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
    4:55
  4. Beautiful DayU2
    4:08
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
    4:41
  6. White FlagDido
    4:00
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
    4:13
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
    3:17
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
    3:35
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
    4:24
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
    3:07
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
    4:37
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
    3:46
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
    2:17
  15. With Or Without YouU2
    4:56
  16. HelloAdele
    4:55
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
    3:29
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
    3:21
  19. WingsBirdy
    4:12
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar
    3:41

How to detect a narcissist

How to detect a narcissist

How to soothe an anxiety attack

How to soothe an anxiety attack