Economic Violence: More Discreet Than Other Forms, But Still Very Much There

Last updated by Rosie Harlow

A few years ago, I was in a relationship with a man who I’d now describe as toxic. He belittled me, made fun of me and, worst of all, put me in a financial situation that made me dependent on him. At the time, I was too young to understand that this was economic violence. Now I understand what it is, which is why I want to talk about it so that other people don’t end up in the same situation.

Economic Violence: More Discreet Than Other Forms, But Still Very Much There

What is economic violence?

Let’s start at the beginning by defining economic violence. It’s a situation where one person uses the control of financial resources to exert power over another. This can happen in a variety of contexts, at work, and even in society as a whole.

📌
For example, in the case of the latter, this can manifest itself in policies that favor economic inequality, unfair tax laws, or a reduction in certain budgets (I think we’re now slap bang in the middle of it 🤡).

However, even if economic violence can be found on different scales, the most common situation is in a relationship 😥. Indeed, this is often part of other forms of violence, such as psychological, physical, and sexual violence. One partner controls the other person’s access to financial resources, thus limiting their ability to be independent...

Violence against women

Unfortunately, when you’re a woman, you’re much more likely to be affected by this type of violence, not least due to wage inequality. According to an IFOP survey conducted for Les Glorieuses, women who earn less than their partners are twice as likely to be victims of domestic economic violence.

Indeed, 27% of women whose partner earns more than they do, have already experienced at least one form of economic violence from their partner, compared with 14% of women whose income is equivalent to that of their partner.

What’s more, as T.K. Logan, a behavioral science professor, and domestic violence expert, explains, economic violence is often less recognized than other forms of domestic violence because it’s less visible and often rooted in cultural and social norms about the role of men and women in household finances 😣. Economic violence is therefore part of the problem of a patriarchal society. It’s a systemic problem, indeed, according to the IFOP survey, one in three women who’s been a victim of economic violence has also suffered domestic violence...

⚠️ This article can help you spot domestic violence: 10 Examples of passive-aggressive behavior

Some examples of economic violence

Now that we know that we’re more affected by economic violence as women, we need to learn how to spot it. Here are a few examples that should be taken as red flags:

  • 🚩 He/she insists on going 50/50 even though he/she earns more,
  • 🚩 He/she spends more on personal needs than on those of the couple,
  • 🚩 He/she insists on having the bills be in your name,
  • 🚩 He/she discourages you from investing,
  • 🚩 He/she won’t offer to compensate you for something he/she has broken,
  • 🚩 He/she forbids you from having a personal bank account,
  • 🚩 He/she doesn’t allow you access to the accounts,
  • 🚩 He/she gives you an allowance (or a budget) for your expenses,
  • 🚩 He/she discourages or forbids you from having a job,
  • 🚩 He/she takes out a loan / runs up debts in your name,
  • etc.

Unfortunately, there are other examples, in particular linked to alimony. In fact, we need to identify all behaviors that aim to create financial dependence and limit the freedom and autonomy of the other partner. As Adrienne Adams, professor of psychology at Michigan State University and a specialist in domestic violence, explains:


“Economic violence is a very effective control strategy because it limits victims’ options and reinforces their dependence on the abuser.”


So you’re therefore trapped in an abusive relationship, it’s typical behavior of a narcissistic pervert 😥...

How can you avoid economic violence in a relationship?

You can’t change a person who inflicts economic violence on you, because generally there are other forms of violence that go along with it 😔. The best thing is therefore to break out of the emotional and financial codependency by leaving them and finding help from those around you.

Unhappy couple

99% of victims of domestic economic violence have also suffered other forms of domestic violence (Ifop poll)

I know it’s very difficult to leave a toxic relationship, as I’ve been there myself. However, leaving a narcissistic pervert is the best way to regain your freedom and economic power. On the other hand, you can avert economic violence when you get into a new relationship. My best advice is to maintain your financial independence so that you don’t get caught up in a relationship that you can’t leave because you’ve got no money. Ladies, keep your job, keep your personal bank account and fight to reduce wage inequality 💪.

You can also raise awareness by talking about this type of violence. Talk about it with your friends and family, and share this article to help people understand the problems associated with economic violence. The more informed you are, the more likely you are to avoid this kind of situation.

Editor’s note: Dare to speak out!

Breaking the chains of economic violence is an act of courage and self-assertion. If you feel the weight of this violence in your life, don’t wait to seek help. Making an appointment with a psychologist can be the first step towards regaining your financial and emotional autonomy. You deserve a life free of constraints and full of opportunities. Dare to speak out, dare to act, and above all, dare to be yourself, fully and freely.

🤗 Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... It’s here and now!

#BornToBeMe

Be sure to check out the following articles;

Article presented by Rosie Harlow

Writing has always been a form of therapy for me. For as long as I can remember, I have always used paper as a punching bag. Get to know me, I am Rosie Harlow.

Read our latest articles here:

Are Narcissists Born Or Made? - Let's Settle The Debate

There you have it, the nature vs nurture debate is back, only this time I want to focus it on those deviously manipulative personalities we refer to as narcissists. Now, evidently these folks get bad press and rightly so because they are often at the root of plenty of harm, but is it really their fault? Can they really be blamed for their terrifying and perhaps inherent traits, or are they simply just products and in this case victims of their environments? Let’s settle this debate once and for all and figure out how and when this disorder becomes apparent. So, are you born a narcissist or is it developed?

Do Narcissists Regret Hurting People?

From their lack of empathy to their scarily manipulative and controlling streak, narcissists arguably display despicable behavior that simply can’t be condoned. Once these people get their claws into a victim, they become ruthless and have absolutely no regard for the effects their behavior may have on their mental health. Now, as with many syndromes, nothing is black and white with these types of personality disorders. In fact, there are certainly many inaccurate theories regarding their relationship with remorse regarding their actions, and that’s why I’m here to set the record straight.

A Guide On How To Deal With Narcissist Silent Treatment Guide📕

If you've ever been involved with a narcissist, you'll know exactly how dangerous and vindictive they can be. Now, they won't use physical violence to break their victims down, although the tactics they use are just as painful and debilitating. These slippery characters operate under the shadow of darkness and use subtle mind games and tactics in order to exert a maximum amount of control and manipulation over their prey. You have no doubt already guessed it, but in case you haven't yet, the silent treatment is a narcissist's go-to tactic when it comes to punishing their victims and taking control of them. Find out here why these abusers use this method and how to deal with it.

8 Reasons Why Ghosters Always Come Back 👻

If you’ve ever given online dating a whirl, the chances are you’ve been ghosted by someone. Now, for those of you who are unaware of this practice, it involves putting a sudden end to a relationship without offering any form of explanation. If I had to estimate how many times this has happened to me, I’d say there are definitely over 10 guys out there who owe me an explanation as to why they suddenly disappeared off the face of the earth… However, all the confusion and short-lived heartbreak has taught me that ghosters always seem to reappear at one time or another.

Should You Really Confess Your Feelings?

Who hasn’t had a crush in their life? You know, it’s when you fall for someone and have feelings for them even though you don’t really know them. I’m one of those people who have had lots of crushes, and sometimes I’ve even admitted my feelings. In fact, a recent example was just before I started my relationship with my current partner. I offloaded what I was feeling all of a sudden… I’ll tell you why I did it and how to go about it.

How To Get Revenge On A Narcissist?

Narcissistic abuse is one of the most horrific challenges anyone can ever go through in life, but that’s not to say that their reign of terror will last forever. Evidently, breaking the cycle of abuse isn’t exactly straightforward, however, once the discard phase has been activated and victims realize that they can walk away with their heads held high, the revenge phase can commence 😈. Unsurprisingly, getting even with a raging egocentric narcissist needs to be carefully planned, but ironically, their self-centered personalities expose to many axes of revenge, which will evidently really get to them…

Are Narcissists Lonely?

Loneliness is one of society’s biggest enemies, and none of us are exempt from it, not even the most devilish of narcissists out there. In fact, throughout the Coronavirus pandemic, 36% of Americans claimed that they have never felt lonelier, which sets a scary benchmark for the wider population 😔. Now, lots of us would no doubt immediately assume that narcissists are too independent and strong-willed to feel alone, however, the truth is they are often the biggest victims of loneliness, yet simply have trouble expressing their inner malaise.

"Nobody Likes Me"

Never invited to parties, never listened to or solicited... It feels like you're just an ordinary person, who is pushed aside and has no value. If this is the case, we often end up coming to the sad conclusion that "nobody likes us! But, why do we think this? Now, this thought does not reflect reality, it hides deeper issues that need to be worked on to detach ourselves from this heavy feeling. Everyone deserves to be loved, including us!

6 Reasons Why Narcissists Never Apologize - They Hate Saying Sorry

I’ll be the first to admit that my stubbornness means I’m not exactly the most willing person when it comes to uttering the words ‘I’m sorry’, but I always push through my pride; although unfortunately, the same can’t be said for narcissists... Indeed, people who suffer from this personality disorder will simply never hold their hands up and accept responsibility for their actions, despite how deeply they’ve hurt your feelings. 😱 You know the idiom getting blood from a stone, right? Well, when it comes to apologies from these toxic personalities, nothing is more appropriate, and here are 6 reasons why!

Why Do I Feel Bad When People Don’t Message Me Back?

Friday night rolls around and after a hard week you were expecting to have a drink with a girlfriend, but she seems to have left you hanging on read... To make matters worse (and the humiliation?) you even saw the little typing sign appear, yet you never received a reply. Well, if that’s the case, obviously you or your "how about a drink tonight?" didn’t deserve an answer. Let’s take a look at why some people don't reply to messages, and why when someone doesn't reply to your text, this makes us feel so bad.



Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist

wengood

  1. Only LoveBen Howard
    4:08
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
    4:55
  4. Beautiful DayU2
    4:08
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
    4:41
  6. White FlagDido
    4:00
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
    4:13
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
    3:17
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
    3:35
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
    4:24
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
    3:07
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
    4:37
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
    3:46
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
    2:17
  15. With Or Without YouU2
    4:56
  16. HelloAdele
    4:55
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
    3:29
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
    3:21
  19. WingsBirdy
    4:12
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar
    3:41

How to detect a narcissist

How to detect a narcissist

How to soothe an anxiety attack

How to soothe an anxiety attack