I Don’t Know How To Delegate, Why? 4 Things To Think About!

Last updated by Lauren Hart

I’ve got a problem. It’s not a serious problem, but it’s one that’s often brought me to my knees. Yes, for a long time, I didn’t know how to delegate, whether it was work or chores. Fortunately, I’ve treated myself and I’ve managed to improve. But still, why are there people like me who can’t delegate? I thought I’d look into the matter, and here are some answers.

I Don’t Know How To Delegate, Why? 4 Things To Think About!

Contents of the article

4 reasons why I can’t delegate

1 - No one will do it as well as me

I can’t manage to delegate tasks, whether at work or at home, because I simply feel that it won’t be done as well as if I do it myself. It’s probably my inflexible side that needs everything to be done according to MY vision of things. Except that there are as many ways of doing things as there are human beings on Earth. So why should the way my partner does laundry be any worse than mine 😅?!

It’s a mistaken belief, but it has to be said that society doesn’t help us much when we’re women. Let me explain. We’re used to taking on a lot more (if not all) of the mental load. From childhood onwards, we’re conditioned to do everything for others, and we become convinced that we’re the only ones capable of fulfilling this role. Except, spoiler alert, everything can be learned 😬!

I’ve often seen mothers in this kind of situation. I think the conditioning is exacerbated by the arrival of a baby. Mothers have a lot to deal with, and fathers often take a back seat. So very often, when the father decides to help, the mother can’t delegate because she’s worried about her child’s well-being. Long live the patriarchal society, eh!

2 - I can’t be bothered to explain

Let’s face it, you start to let go and tell yourself that you need to delegate. Using the example above, in order to delegate tasks, you need to explain them. Sometimes you just don’t feel like doing so 😖! We end up telling ourselves that it will be quicker if we do it ourselves and give the instructions to a third party.

Except we’re forgetting one thing. There will be an explanation, which will certainly take a little time, but it will only be given once. At least, even if we have to say a few things again, it will never take as long as if we did it every time ourselves. That’s what I try to tell myself when I’m feeling lazy and don’t want to go into detail 🙃.

A word of advice

Avoid giving explanations and handing over tasks when you’re in a rush. I’m not just talking about work, but also in your personal life! If you’re pressed for time, you’re going to be a bit more stressed, you’ll have more trouble dealing with your negative emotions and as a result, that’s when conflicts and arguments can arise! So choose your moment carefully and put your laziness to one side.

3 - I don’t know how to trust

Entrusting something to someone else is giving a bit of your trust. There’s nothing harder than giving someone your trust, especially in a situation where you don’t know them very well. I already find it difficult having confidence in myself, so having enough to pass it on is a complicated matter.

In fact, what’s behind all that is the fear of being disappointed and the fear of failure 😨. Well yes, let’s imagine that the other person doesn’t manage to do what I’ve asked them to do, I’d feel like my trust had been betrayed. So of course, we’re not talking about trivial little tasks, but things that are much more important. When you entrust a new recruit with a customer portfolio, you don’t trust them. Even if you’ve done everything to recruit the right person, the disappointment would be too great.


Except that mistakes can happen to everyone. I think you need to learn to put things into perspective and tell yourself that it’s not a big deal, no one’s going to die. I know it’s difficult, but it takes the pressure off a bit and helps you learn to trust other people a bit.

4 - It gives me a feeling of control

Control makes me feel better. I feel calm when I’ve got everything in hand, and I’ve visualized a ton of potential unforeseen events. OK, I admit that in reality this feeling of control and reassurance from “non-delegation” hides my anticipatory anxiety, or quite simply my anxiety altogether.

I bet I’m not the only one who experiences the great satisfaction of being in control from A to Z of things no less that are totally trivial. Not that it’s dictatorial (or so I think), but it feels good to know that everything is under control, at least on the surface 🤐.

Letting go of the reins

Indeed, not delegating gives us a feeling of control, but this is often illusory. We feel as if we’re considering every possible scenario, but very often life catches up with us and calls us to order. That’s why we need to learn to let go and tell ourselves that in any case, that’s life and there are sometimes good and bad surprises!

As far as I’m concerned, I’m unable to delegate for these reasons. As I said, I’m working on it and I hope my little food for thought will help you too. Chin up ✊!

Editor’s note - Move forward with others

Learning to delegate isn’t easy when you’ve never done it before. It’s even more complex when you’ve faced disappointment. That’s why you need to work on your trust and tell yourself that in any case, it’s impossible to do everything yourself. Of course, it’s not easy doing this on your own, so why not meet with a coach to help you get to grips with these issues? In just a few sessions, you’ll feel a boost, and you’ll have learned to let go a bit more!

🤗 Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... It’s here and now!


Be sure to check these articles out;

Article presented by Lauren Hart

Writing is a beautiful means of expression that I cannot do without. It has allowed me to channel my hypersensitivity, plus I love writing about psychology and personal development. For me, self-understanding is the best way to move forward!

Read our latest articles here:

Psychological Abuse: Identify It To Get Out Of It

A little belittling remark here, minimizing our emotions there... So many little things that show us that we’re being psychologically abused. It may seem trivial, but that’s the problem. We downplay it too much, which makes it the most common type of abuse. So, how do you identify psychological abuse? What should you do if you’re a victim? Let’s explain.

Behavioral Disorders: The List & Their Definitions

I suffer from an eating disorder, and several people around me have a mood disorder. I’m not completely unfamiliar with behavioral disorders, or at least not these. However, there are several types of disorders and they can even affect sexual behavior. So how do you define them? Here’s a list and some definitions related to behavioral disorders.

8 Reasons Why Malignant Narcissists Are So Dangerous

If the title of this article hasn’t totally scared you away, then you are no doubt wondering what this beast of a person is really like. Well, a malignant narcissist is a step up from a typical narcissist and adds an antisocial personality disorder to the already intimidating mixture. Combined, these two personality disorders represent the relentless need for control, admiration, and power for selfish reasons, making folks with this diagnosis that bit scarier than classic manipulators. Here’s why these people are so terrifying, and how you can get your own back on them.

What Are The Weaknesses Of A Narcissist?

Each one of us has our own weaknesses that hold us back in life; be it at work or in relationships. However, on a more positive note, most of us have the will to work on them and transform them. That being said, once narcissists are brought into the picture, the idea that they want to work on their weaknesses doesn’t exactly seem feasible. For a deeper understanding of these narcissists and more insights into the workings of their minds, discover their weak spots and which pointers they struggle with on a daily basis, yet aren't willing to admit or work on.

I’m Nostalgic; But How Can I Stop Looking Back?

Whenever I have trouble sleeping, whenever I’m bored or whenever my thoughts wander, it’s not uncommon for me to find myself reliving my childhood vacations, or a delightful weekend in bed or even my wedding day. Sometimes I even shed a tear thinking about these moments in my past… Yes, I’m nostalgic, and I love revisiting memories, but that has to stop! Discover the steps to put in place if you want to live in the present!

I Never Thought I’d Say This, But I Hate Working From Home…

Work has always been a synonym of repression for me because it takes up so much of our precious time. Let’s be honest, a 9-5 job with a horrendous daily commute often means that work is sadly our sole occupation. So, when the Covid-19 pandemic struck over a year ago, and we were all ordered to stay home, I found it hard to hide my joy in front of my distraught coworkers; although thankfully my acting talents saved me. You can probably already tell, but going into the office every day was nothing less than torture for me. Yet, all these months later, I’ve realized that I despise working from home and would do anything to sit in my uncomfortable office chair once again!

Do We Always Need To Have The Last Word?

Today, I’m focussing on a habit that drives me crazy: wanting to have the last word. It’s probably because I’m not very good at comebacks or self-confident enough that I’m both fascinated and annoyed by people who always want to be right. But why do they always want to have the last word? What’s behind it?

I Still Suck My Thumb As An Adult

In general, thumb sucking ends around the age of 6. I say “in general” and not “normally”, because as an adult I don’t feel weird or particularly bothered by it. When I get stressed, I allow myself to let go and return to my childhood self by sucking my thumb. Those who know about it or catch me by surprise make me realize I should be ashamed… But is this habit a big deal? What if it makes me feel better? It’s certainly no worse than lighting up a cigarette or biting your nails…

Why Do Hugs And Physical Contact Make Me Feel Uncomfortable?

There are people who don’t like to be touched at all, and who are almost disgusted by physical contact. There are people who like to caress and be caressed for anything and everything, and there are people like me who always recoil when someone tries to touch them. Why do I shy away from physical contact? What if it’s all linked to the past?

10 Examples Of Text Messages A Narcissist Sends

Narcissists definitely move with the times, which is why many of them constantly troll dating sites for new victims. Chatting with a manipulator of this magnitude can be a rollercoaster experience, with dizzying heights that might lead you to believe you are in love, to gut-wrenching lows which will make you question your worth. For any raving narcissist, text message exchanges are a great way to reel in victims and follow through with their master plans for ultimate control over them. Are you texting someone you suspect to be a narcissist? The examples below could confirm your suspicions.

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist


  1. Only LoveBen Howard
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
  4. Beautiful DayU2
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
  6. White FlagDido
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
  15. With Or Without YouU2
  16. HelloAdele
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
  19. WingsBirdy
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde

How to detect a narcissist

How to detect a narcissist

How to soothe an anxiety attack

How to soothe an anxiety attack