Why Is Sex So Difficult To Talk About? Why Does Fear Hold Us Back?

In this day and age, we are surrounded by sex, to the point where we literally can't escape it. Whether it be in commercials, magazines, movies or even successful books, it plays an important part of our lives. Yet, for the most part it’s not a subject that never comes up in our conversations. If we chat about it, we often feel like we are opening the door on our bedroom activities and offering our intimacy up to critical eyes. But why is this fascinating and widespread subject so shameful and taboo to talk about? Here are our explanations on why we have such a hard time chatting about one of our favorite leisure activities.

Contents:

Let’s put our heads together and attempt to identify the origins of our blushes when it comes to sex. 

These 3 fears prevent us from speaking about our sex lives freely

1. Fear of being different

When we think of societal pressure we often clam up and worry about what others might think of us. When this happens, tell yourself well, there is no ‘right or wrong’ way to make love. There are as many ways of looking at sex as there are people doing it. And then if there was only one method, fantasies would not exist; how boring would that be?!

Everyone has different tastes and expectations in the bedroom. We must therefore be aware of what we like, and not judge ourselves. After this stage it is easier to accept ourselves and to free our speech. There is no harm in pleasuring yourself! And who knows, maybe you could inspire a few girlfriends.

>>> Read up on our tips for female masturbation.

2. Fear of rejection

To talk about being intimate is to expose oneself both literally and figuratively. According to our modesty, one can feel vulnerable and sometimes we can even be afraid of hurting the other person. And this fear of rejection prevents us from expressing our desires... In fact, it’s difficult to have a fulfilled love life... It is therefore essential to open up to the other person and to express your desires.

Don't skip the steps; start off slowly, by evoking your least daring expectations, you will see how a positive reaction from your partner will encourage you to continue your exchanges, in order to create mutual trust and complicity. It will also be the best way to remedy any boredom and boost your partner's sex drive.

3. Fear of being considered incompetent...

Making love is such a subjective subject and very broad, which is why we ought to avoid labelling our skills. As we said earlier, there is not only one way to have sex, so there is a good chance that you will not know your partner's preferences and that you will waste precious time beating around the bush....

Your partner will be grateful if you ask him about his wishes. Do you care about his pleasure? He will definitely appreciate you wanting to find out more because perhaps no one has asked him before. It’s up to you to find out what works for you and what you both need!

Free

Are you struggling for inspiration? Maybe your girlfriends will help you to be more creative! Although, after the 3rd glass, we decline all responsibility.

You see, the subject is actually not so complex, the rules of the game are built with two, and can be enriched over time. Although, for that it is essential to communicate well without fear, all whilst eliminating taboos. If you think that you are missing some of the Chef's secrets or that you don't have the right language or knowledge to pass this stage successfully, don't hesitate to contact a sexologist who will be able to give you all the necessary advice and information. Then, why not share your experiences to your girlfriends so that they can benefit from it.

The editor’s opinion: Be open and proud

Express yourself in a frank but not guilt-tripping way. Choose the right time and the right words: talk about your preferences rather than criticize, for example. Also think about non-verbal communication. Guiding your partner can be a lot of fun. If talking about intimacy is difficult for you, then it can be interesting to find out why with a therapist or sex therapist.

We think these articles might interest you too:

Discover the world through my eyes.

Read our latest articles here:

Help, Why Do I Attract Narcissists?

After a succession of dating disasters, I decided that it was time I took a step back...

Read

Split Personality

Are you familiar with dissociative personality disorder? You may well think of schizo...

Read

Introspection, How To Self-Analyze?

I always thought I was in tune with myself and that I knew myself really well! That’s...

Read

The 4 Main Causes Of Unhappiness At Work

Work is a priority for most of us, so much so that we’re sometimes prepared to accept...

Read

Am I A Toxic Person?

In love, in friendship, at work, in your family… I think we’ve unfortunately all had ...

Read

Does Revenge Really Do Us Any Good?

“Revenge is a dish best served cold.” I’ve always heard this expression, but cold or ...

Read