What does it mean?
For some, financial success is the priority. For others, it’ about having a family with a people carrier and a Labrador. At the other end of the spectrum, there are those who want to be famous and leave their mark on history… In short, we all want to succeed in life, but everyone has their own conception according to their personal experiences and requirements. I asked this question to my friends and family and everyone had a different answer 🧐.
For example, for me, succeeding in life means living for my passion, which is working while doing what I love, and thus combining financial stability with my dreams as an artist. Even better, if I could also be a Digital Nomad and add another passion … However, I’ve built these dreams by witnessing the achievements of others, and that’s where the problem lies 🤐.
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That’s the problem, we base the success of our lives on representations we see, like the American dream, the successful entrepreneur, the “it girl” of the moment, etc. We put enormous pressure on ourselves to tick boxes that don’t necessarily correspond to us. Indeed, we often forget that equal opportunities don’t exist. We don’t all start out with the same keys to “succeed”… On the other hand, if we feel that one of these boxes corresponds to one of our dreams, it may be too much. If that’s the case, we’ll never achieve it and the disappointment is immense.
Add to this the gaze of others, and we put even more pressure on ourselves to succeed: to earn money, to have a social status, to accomplish our projects, etc. No matter what we want to do, we have to bear in mind that succeeding in life is only a reflection of the time, the country and the society in which we live 🤯.
Why are we so obsessed with “succeeding in life”?
We’re obsessed with succeeding in life because we’re scared 😱. We’re scared of not being happy and satisfied with our existence. Succeeding in life is an obsession because we feel we’ll have made our existence on Earth worthwhile. We seek perfection, which is intangible and depends on so many parameters, that we become obsessed with this idea of success.
The fear of not achieving happiness makes us very insecure. So to fight against this, we want to do everything we can to be happy in life. We set ourselves big targets and envy those who achieve them 🤕. It would be good to remember Epicurus’ philosophy and settle for less to relieve the pressure...
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Failure, the enemy of success
The other major fear that leads us to obsess over success is the fear of failure. Who’s never heard someone criticize another person in difficulty, saying they were incapable, clueless or even lazy? I have! So it’s not surprising that we’re afraid and that we associate failure with defeat. It’s a very (too) Manichean view: success versus failure. But already I think it would be good to get rid of this notion of failure because it’s guilt-inducing. At least in the way it’s presented in relation to success ☹️.
I’ve been creating content on the Internet for 10 years now. For a long time, I thought I was failing because I could see that I hadn’t evolved as much as other colleagues who were doing the same thing 😰. I took a step back and told myself that I had already achieved so much. It’s important to focus on this kind of observation.
Focusing on what really matters
Having dreams is good. It’s what enables us to find a purpose for our existence! But where we go wrong succeeding in life is when we think we have to cling to it at all costs, even if it makes us unhappy. What I’ve come to understand is that you need to put your energy in the right place, into what really counts: listening to my intuition, the love I have for my close ones, my simple pleasures, etc.
I think we have to put aside our own demands, and even more so those that others may have on us. I’ve clearly not achieved the major life goals I want, I don’t have a dream life, I have ups and downs, but I’m still happy! I manage to live each day, to evolve at my own rhythm, and that’s already a great victory for me. As for the rest? Well, I’ve decided I don’t care anymore, and it feels good. I think that’s what “succeeding in life” is all about, learning to let go and being satisfied with yourself ❤️.
Editor’s note: The important thing isn’t to succeed in life but to fail in death
Let’s forget this notion of success, which is quite subjective in the end. And if succeeding in life is an important point for you and that these expectations put too much pressure on you or prevent you from flourishing, don’t hesitate to contact one of our coaches to understand what this need is hiding, how to fill it and to put in place new habits that will enable you to blossom.
🤗 Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... It’s here and now!
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