I No Longer Feel Wanted, How Can I Raise The Temperature?

Last updated by Katie M.

It’s the summer and the temperature is rising… at least outside, because not so much at home for me. Fifteen years of a relationship have finally taken the edge off the desire. A kiss out of habit, a touch here and there and making when we think of it. If there are platonic and fulfilling relationships, I don’t want one of them. I’m going to raise the temperature in my relationship, and I’m going to do it now!

Decreased libido: a common fatality

A drop in libido is present in both sexes, and it’s completely normal to go through phases during which we feel less up for it. Troubles, stress, contraception, illness, routine, etc. The reasons for a drop in libido are as numerous as they are varied. Whether this lack of desire comes from a mental block in the relationship or a personal problem, the best way to overcome it is to seek solutions together. And if you need it, call upon a sexologist or choose couple’s therapy.

How do I raise the temperature?

For both men and women, desire is something that fluctuates and, like 56% of women, I’m not always satisfied in my sex life. After so many years together, I don’t feel as desired as I did in the great days at the beginning of our relationship. No matter how it happened, the result is that I doubt myself, I don’t really like my body anymore, and I’m afraid there’s something wrong with my relationship. In short, no longer feeling desired causes quite a lot of problems, so it’s time to turn up the heat and here’s how:

>>> Read; Is not having sex the secret to saving a relationship?

1. I communicate

This is the beginning, the basics. You can walk around naked in the living room, but if your partner isn’t aware of the problem, he won’t understand. So start by saying what you feel🗨️. Bad communication is often the cause of sexual disagreement. So call a meeting and start by explaining the situation clearly and calmly. Who knows where this meeting will lead? …

2. I adopt the guideline: “know yourself”

Solo enjoyment promotes enjoyment for two. To feel desires, you first have to desire yourself and regain confidence in yourself and your body. The best way to do this is through masturbation 🤭!

3. I become sensual

Sensuality exists to arouse desire and bring pleasure. As its name indicates, sensuality is linked to the senses, so it’s a body language that aims to create an erotic climate, so quite clearly, to raise the temperature. How do you do it? Well, that depends on each one of us.

😏 A person might like having their lip bitten, having their hair played with, having their lower back touched, being massaged, etc. Sensuality is above all a matter of touching, but the thing that works every time is smell. Smell is the sense most closely linked to your memory. Choosing the right perfume should therefore help to increase the desire.

>>> Discover 7 tips for a great sex life

4. I make hints

🔥 Sometimes all it takes is a simple look or a simple phrase to set the other person on fire. When you’re in a relationship, sexual hints don’t have to be discreet… especially if there’s no one around. Go to sleep naked and mention to your partner something like: “I’m not tired, and I don’t think you’re going to sleep just yet either.” Or something a little less implied: “my body and I are waiting just for you.” It’s up to you to find the right balance that fits your relationship.

5. I take matters into my own hands

Habits and laziness are desire’s worst enemies. Yes, I know you, I know that it’s sometimes so much easier to go for the TV show in pajamas version rather than the candles and lovemaking version. If you don’t feel desired anymore, perhaps try to take matters into your own hands. Be firm, categorical, and forward: “honey, put down your book, your joystick, your dumbbell, your dessert fork, the baby (delete as appropriate), take off your clothes, and I’ll get on top of you.” In fact, to bring back desire, sometimes you need to take matters into your own hands… literally 👋!

>>> Here are the best tips to get your libido back!

Editor’s note: Don’t let the situation get out of hand

If you no longer feel desired, if you’ve lost confidence in yourself and your relationship, and if these tips haven’t been enough to reawaken your libido, it’s time to act. Don’t let yourself get bogged down in the situation, make an appointment with a psychologist or a sexologist to take stock of your situation and find solutions.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

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