Is Taking A Step Back In A Relationship The Secret To Saving It?

Last updated by Katie M.

Sometimes a relationship is a long quiet river, and sometimes it's a rocky disaster from start to finish. Although, when things hit a rough patch and don’t go the way we wanted them to, we might consider taking a break in order to smooth things out. The idea of taking a break was probably made famous in Friends with Ross and Rachel’s tumultuous relationship, but is it actually the solution? Is taking time apart from the one your partner the secret to crossing your love crisis, or will it push you further apart?

Is Taking A Step Back In A Relationship The Secret To Saving It?
Contents: 

Do breaks help relationships? 

And besides, what is really a break in a couple? Well, it often starts when a couple is in crisis. In an ideal world, there would be mutual consent to take a break, yet in reality, it's frequently the one partner who leads the decision-making process. One needs to take a break to reflect and to take a step back. Although, a break that inevitably leads to doubt and indecision.

How can you survive a break?

Let's face it, a break is not an easy solution, it's a desire to take a step back in the hope of making your relationship stronger and long-lasting. Can I solidify a relationship? Not really, in fact, at first, it tends to weaken the couple and push them apart. It might even lead to a breakdown in communication and be difficult to manage. Although, it is necessary to have a complete overhaul at the end of the established break period. You have to come out the other side with solutions and answers regarding the future of your union. If you go back on the same tracks, you’ll definitely crash into the wall. That being said, pressing the pause button does not allow you to adjust everything.

What are the 4 golden rules of a break?

A successful break is also a thoughtful break. The rules are specific to each couple, but it’s impossible to say goodbye without establishing them. Duration, contacts, faithfulness are issues that will have to be addressed beforehand.

1. Communication

If you need to take a step back and think quietly about the rest of your life, it's going to be hard to do if your guy calls you every hour. Establish a contact rule; we see each other/call each other once a week, no more than two texts a day... it's up to you. In any case, communication remains essential and sometimes even necessary. When it comes to the children, material or financial issues, there are bound to be expenses to assume and these are all subjects to discuss.

2. Loyalty

As for faithfulness, it is also important to address the subject. If we take a break in our relationship, can we go elsewhere or not? For some it's NO WAY, for others it's freer. In this case, we don't give an account. Intimacy is critical, all the more so as free or not, admitting infidelity is rarely welcomed.

>>> Read: Should I come clean about cheating on my partner?

3. Duration

How long does a break last? This is the most essential point to address. Each couple decides the length of the break, but beyond 2 months it can be complicated. Indeed, the resumption of the couple's life can be difficult (especially for the one who is at the origin of the break) and this break could finally end in a definitive breakup. And then for the one who is put in the dead-end in front of this break, it is simply unbearable. Their life comes to a sort of halt. Shall we book our vacations together? Do we go to my parents' house for Christmas? Are you coming to our daughter's birthday party?

4. Distance

That's right! A break in the couple, it's a question of logistics. It’s impossible to take a break under the same roof. The goal is to think, so how can you do quietly and efficiently if you share the sofa and the washing machine?

Attention: Renting an apartment to take a break is a very bad signal that you didn't dare to break up.

What are the advantages of a break? - Is it good to take a break in a relationship?

Taking a break in your relationship allows you to confront yourself and your feelings. Do I love my partner, or do I stay with them out of habit? Do I really miss him? What do I get out of this relationship? By answering these questions, we take stock of our situation, and this will eventually help us come to a decision. A break is essentially time to think about the future of the couple and try to give them a chance. We don't take a break because we want to break up, but because we're looking for the courage to save things.

A break is not an easy solution, and it is a card to be played with caution because it can be beneficial and at the same time very risky. Its only goal must be to be able to answer the question: "am I happier alone or with him?".

> Read; am I too demanding of my partner? <

How do I know if I want to break up?

While it can be challenging to know if the other person in a relationship wants to break up, it can be just as complex when it comes from you, but you may not be aware of it. Are you starting to have doubts? Some feelings or sensations will help you see things more clearly. First, if you feel that you are not or at least not sure that you are in love anymore, it is a sign that you want to get out of the relationship. If you answer yes to these questions, "Do I feel less like seeing him, do his actions or words annoy me, do I feel like I want to be in sexual contact with him less? Chances are, there's a real discomfort. Another rather obvious sign will be characterized by feeling a certain melancholy. You feel sad, you feel lonely even when you are in the relationship, you feel that you are not present for the other, and it begins to weigh on you. Finally, you feel a lack of desire in general. You don't really want to share moments with each other anymore, or just share. You prefer to go out with your friends, you detach yourself.

How do you know if it's time to separate?

A couple's relationship is made up of ups and downs. If it's a shame to give up at the first hurdle, how do we know when our relationship can't be saved? A good way to gauge if it's time to end your relationship is to see if all these signs of weariness continue over time. When it drags, when it becomes a habit, necessarily there are moments when the couple can beat the wing, but when we no longer want to be in the couple, when the priority is no longer the other person when we do not want to make efforts, or to do anything, there it is necessary to look at what happens. In addition, it is time to say stop when you feel dissatisfied. Whether it's the simple idea of going on a romantic getaway or a bigger plan such as buying an apartment, if it doesn't appeal to you, it's a bad omen. If you don't feel like projecting, it's because you're detaching yourself from this man.

Editor's opinion - An alternative to the break

If you aren’t tempted to put your relationship on hold, we completely understand you! To save your couple or to try to see more clearly in your love story, there is couple therapy. Rather than thinking alone, why not think about it together? If the break is a tiny slip-up, therapy is an ordeal that will also allow us to take a step back by leading us to ask ourselves the right questions. And because sometimes letting yourself be guided, helping, and advising is good, a therapist may be the solution to your couple problem.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe


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