Is Taking A Step Back In A Relationship The Secret To Saving It?

Last updated by Katie M.

Sometimes a relationship is a long quiet river, and sometimes it's a rocky disaster from start to finish. Although, when things hit a rough patch and don’t go the way we wanted them to, we might consider taking a break in order to smooth things out. The idea of taking a break was probably made famous in Friends with Ross and Rachel’s tumultuous relationship, but is it actually the solution? Is taking time apart from the one your partner the secret to crossing your love crisis, or will it push you further apart?

Is Taking A Step Back In A Relationship The Secret To Saving It?
Contents: 

Do breaks in relationships work? 

And besides, what is really a break in a couple? Well, it often starts when a couple is in crisis. In an ideal world, there would be mutual consent to take a break, yet in reality, it's frequently the one partner who leads the decision-making process. One needs to take a break to reflect and to take a step back. Although, a break that inevitably leads to doubt and indecision.

How can you survive a break?

Let's face it, a break is not an easy solution, it's a desire to take a step back in the hope of making your relationship stronger and long-lasting. Can I solidify a relationship? Not really, in fact, at first, it tends to weaken the couple and push them apart. It might even lead to a breakdown in communication and be difficult to manage. Although, it is necessary to have a complete overhaul at the end of the established break period. You have to come out the other side with solutions and answers regarding the future of your union. If you go back on the same tracks, you’ll definitely crash into the wall. That being said, pressing the pause button does not allow you to adjust everything.

How to take a break in a relationship? - 4 Golden rules to follow

A successful break is also a thoughtful break. The rules are specific to each couple, but it’s impossible to say goodbye without establishing them. Duration, contacts, faithfulness are issues that will have to be addressed beforehand.

1. Communication

If you need to take a step back and think quietly about the rest of your life, it's going to be hard to do if your guy calls you every hour. Establish a contact rule; we see each other/call each other once a week, no more than two texts a day... it's up to you. In any case, communication remains essential and sometimes even necessary. When it comes to the children, material or financial issues, there are bound to be expenses to assume and these are all subjects to discuss.

2. Loyalty

As for faithfulness, it is also important to address the subject. If we take a break in our relationship, can we go elsewhere or not? For some it's NO WAY, for others it's freer. In this case, we don't give an account. Intimacy is critical, all the more so as free or not, admitting infidelity is rarely welcomed.

>>> Read: Should I come clean about cheating on my partner?

3. Duration

How long does a break last? This is the most essential point to address. Each couple decides the length of the break, but beyond 2 months it can be complicated. Indeed, the resumption of the couple's life can be difficult (especially for the one who is at the origin of the break) and this break could finally end in a definitive breakup. And then for the one who is put in the dead-end in front of this break, it is simply unbearable. Their life comes to a sort of halt. Shall we book our vacations together? Do we go to my parents' house for Christmas? Are you coming to our daughter's birthday party?

4. Distance

That's right! A break in the couple, it's a question of logistics. It’s impossible to take a break under the same roof. The goal is to think, so how can you do quietly and efficiently if you share the sofa and the washing machine?

Attention: Renting an apartment to take a break is a very bad signal that you didn't dare to break up.

What are the advantages of a break? - Is it good to take a break in a relationship?

Taking a break in your relationship allows you to confront yourself and your feelings. Do I love my partner, or do I stay with them out of habit? Do I really miss him? What do I get out of this relationship? By answering these questions, we take stock of our situation, and this will eventually help us come to a decision. A break is essentially time to think about the future of the couple and try to give them a chance. We don't take a break because we want to break up, but because we're looking for the courage to save things.

A break is not an easy solution, and it is a card to be played with caution because it can be beneficial and at the same time very risky. Its only goal must be to be able to answer the question: "am I happier alone or with him?".

> Read; am I too demanding of my partner? <

How do I know if I want to break up?

While it can be challenging to know if the other person in a relationship wants to break up, it can be just as complex when it comes from you, but you may not be aware of it. Are you starting to have doubts? Some feelings or sensations will help you see things more clearly. First, if you feel that you are not or at least not sure that you are in love anymore, it is a sign that you want to get out of the relationship. If you answer yes to these questions, "Do I feel less like seeing him, do his actions or words annoy me, do I feel like I want to be in sexual contact with him less? Chances are, there's a real discomfort. Another rather obvious sign will be characterized by feeling a certain melancholy. You feel sad, you feel lonely even when you are in the relationship, you feel that you are not present for the other, and it begins to weigh on you. Finally, you feel a lack of desire in general. You don't really want to share moments with each other anymore, or just share. You prefer to go out with your friends, you detach yourself.

How do you know if it's time to separate?

A couple's relationship is made up of ups and downs. If it's a shame to give up at the first hurdle, how do we know when our relationship can't be saved? A good way to gauge if it's time to end your relationship is to see if all these signs of weariness continue over time. When it drags, when it becomes a habit, necessarily there are moments when the couple can beat the wing, but when we no longer want to be in the couple, when the priority is no longer the other person when we do not want to make efforts, or to do anything, there it is necessary to look at what happens. In addition, it is time to say stop when you feel dissatisfied. Whether it's the simple idea of going on a romantic getaway or a bigger plan such as buying an apartment, if it doesn't appeal to you, it's a bad omen. If you don't feel like projecting, it's because you're detaching yourself from this man.

Should you talk during a break?

You can schedule specific dates when you will update each other, but overall, it's best not to talk at all for the duration of the break. To avoid stalking your partner, you can also block him on social networks for the duration of the break. This is an essential basis for how to behave during a break. Indeed, if you spend your time talking to your partner, you will not get him out of your mind. You won't be able to live your life without having your decisions and activities polluted by his ghost.

The first few days are certainly the most difficult. You will not be used to life without your partner, and it will be extremely tempting to text them to tell you that you miss them, or even to ask them to meet up. Whatever happens, you must resist, otherwise, you will lose all interest in your break. This rule is all the more important if your relationship was very close, and you did everything together: the break will be an opportunity to relearn how to live as an autonomous human being, without having to constantly take into account your other half in your decisions. This will be difficult, but extremely beneficial and rewarding in the long run.

Editor's opinion - An alternative to the break

If you aren’t tempted to put your relationship on hold, we completely understand you! To save your couple or to try to see more clearly in your love story, there is couple therapy. Rather than thinking alone, why not think about it together? If the break is a tiny slip-up, therapy is an ordeal that will also allow us to take a step back by leading us to ask ourselves the right questions. And because sometimes letting yourself be guided, helping, and advising is good, a therapist may be the solution to your couple problem.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe


We think you might also enjoy: 

Article presented by Katie M.

Discover the world through my eyes.

Read our latest articles here:

Psychological Abuse: Identify It To Get Out Of It

A little belittling remark here, minimizing our emotions there... So many little things that show us that we’re being psychologically abused. It may seem trivial, but that’s the problem. We downplay it too much, which makes it the most common type of abuse. So, how do you identify psychological abuse? What should you do if you’re a victim? Let’s explain.

Behavioral Disorders: The List & Their Definitions

I suffer from an eating disorder, and several people around me have a mood disorder. I’m not completely unfamiliar with behavioral disorders, or at least not these. However, there are several types of disorders and they can even affect sexual behavior. So how do you define them? Here’s a list and some definitions related to behavioral disorders.

10 Reasons Why Your Ex Slept With Someone Else After Your Breakup

We are all unique individuals, and we, therefore, go about handling breakups and the other obstacles life throws our way, differently. Now, when it comes to breakups, there are those of us that almost become celibate and decide that they can't stand the idea of getting to know anyone ever again. Then, on the other hand, there are those that fill their phones with dating apps and jump from one one-night stand to the next. This second scenario may seem harmless, but once we dig a little deeper into the repercussions of it, we soon realize that sleeping with other people so freshly out of a relationship masks troubling sentiments of unhappiness and uneasiness.

I Constantly Need Recognition

Ever since I was a child, I’ve felt like I do things according to others. My choices and my behavior have long been dictated by the approval of others. As I’ve got older, I’ve learned to assert myself and detach myself from what others might think of my actions. Why do we constantly seek this validation, and how can we get rid of this need for recognition when it becomes toxic? Having been there myself, I’ll explain it all to you!

How To Camouflage Your Cellulite At The Beach

You were well on your way. You were holding on, motivated by the idea of finally having a bikini body this year. But then the lockdowns and the laziness all hit you at once... That’s right, your cellulite is still there and not ready to leave just yet. But guess what?! Cellulite is like a little pimple, either we own it, or we resort to using tricks to camouflage it.

I Never Thought I’d Say This, But I Hate Working From Home…

Work has always been a synonym of repression for me because it takes up so much of our precious time. Let’s be honest, a 9-5 job with a horrendous daily commute often means that work is sadly our sole occupation. So, when the Covid-19 pandemic struck over a year ago, and we were all ordered to stay home, I found it hard to hide my joy in front of my distraught coworkers; although thankfully my acting talents saved me. You can probably already tell, but going into the office every day was nothing less than torture for me. Yet, all these months later, I’ve realized that I despise working from home and would do anything to sit in my uncomfortable office chair once again!

Do We Always Need To Have The Last Word?

Today, I’m focussing on a habit that drives me crazy: wanting to have the last word. It’s probably because I’m not very good at comebacks or self-confident enough that I’m both fascinated and annoyed by people who always want to be right. But why do they always want to have the last word? What’s behind it?

I Still Suck My Thumb As An Adult

In general, thumb sucking ends around the age of 6. I say “in general” and not “normally”, because as an adult I don’t feel weird or particularly bothered by it. When I get stressed, I allow myself to let go and return to my childhood self by sucking my thumb. Those who know about it or catch me by surprise make me realize I should be ashamed… But is this habit a big deal? What if it makes me feel better? It’s certainly no worse than lighting up a cigarette or biting your nails…

Why Do Hugs And Physical Contact Make Me Feel Uncomfortable?

There are people who don’t like to be touched at all, and who are almost disgusted by physical contact. There are people who like to caress and be caressed for anything and everything, and there are people like me who always recoil when someone tries to touch them. Why do I shy away from physical contact? What if it’s all linked to the past?

10 Examples Of Text Messages A Narcissist Sends

Narcissists definitely move with the times, which is why many of them constantly troll dating sites for new victims. Chatting with a manipulator of this magnitude can be a rollercoaster experience, with dizzying heights that might lead you to believe you are in love, to gut-wrenching lows which will make you question your worth. For any raving narcissist, text message exchanges are a great way to reel in victims and follow through with their master plans for ultimate control over them. Are you texting someone you suspect to be a narcissist? The examples below could confirm your suspicions.

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist

wengood

  1. Only LoveBen Howard
    4:08
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
    4:55
  4. Beautiful DayU2
    4:08
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
    4:41
  6. White FlagDido
    4:00
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
    4:13
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
    3:17
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
    3:35
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
    4:24
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
    3:07
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
    4:37
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
    3:46
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
    2:19
  15. With Or Without YouU2
    4:56
  16. HelloAdele
    4:55
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
    3:29
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
    3:21
  19. WingsBirdy
    4:12
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar
    3:41


"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde


How to detect a narcissist

How to detect a narcissist

How to soothe an anxiety attack

How to soothe an anxiety attack