Compulsive seduction and needing to please is a pathology that leads sufferers to do anything and everything for a minute of recognition. Someone who always needs the validation of others, always wants to be the center of attention and asks only to be loved more and more. Whether it is with work colleagues, bosses, friends, family or even with strangers, sufferers will do everything so that no one remains indifferent to their contact.
Why do some people need to feel attractive and seductive?
The behavior of this type of person reveals a lack of self-confidence and a void that needs to be filled. People who have not been given sufficient affection by their parents are more often affected by this pathology. The compulsive seducer or flirt is then characterized by narcissism and emotional dependence. Certain symptoms can direct you towards this need to please at all costs:
- A lack of confidence and self-esteem
- A need for recognition
- Need for seduction
- The need to be reassured and valued regarding their image
- A psychological suffering and a deep malaise
>>> Read why do I constantly need attention? <<<
The signs you are a compulsive seducer
- You are obsessed with what others think: this question consumes you every day.
- You hate to be hated: you multiply the attentions, sometimes excessive, to turn the situation to your advantage.
- You can't say no: you are afraid of hurting others; whether it's to end a relationship or to refuse a date with friends. Furthermore, you are even willing to do things that put you in trouble, such as agreeing to keep the neighbor's cat when you are allergic to it!
This behavior hides a deep suffering. Needing to be seen and to be noticed, is a way of asking the other person to take an interest in you. Compulsive seducers can suffer from depression because they are very anxious and are afraid of abandonment. Lacking in self-confidence, they fill this void through the eyes of others. But then, how can they get rid of it?
"You will be worth to others what you are worth to yourself" Latin proverb.
How can you stop trying to please everyone?
- Don't see everything negatively; when you meet a neutral person, you enter into a certain automatism. Your brain creates a shortcut, and you directly think that this person is negatively judging you. This reveals a real social anxiety which is linked to the fear of others' looks. Ask yourself, "Why is my judgment biased? "What do I think of myself? Acknowledging your biased perception of the world is a first step.
- Accept imperfection: you will encounter very different personalities throughout your life. Some will dislike you, inevitably, but it doesn't matter. Focus on the people who like you and spend time with them to keep your spirits up.
- Learn to say no: start with a small action. First, you need to be comfortable. This will make it easier for you to assert yourself.
What to do when you don’t feel pretty?
Finding yourself beautiful is more than just loving the reflection in the mirror. Here are 8 ways to find yourself beautiful... every day a little more!
1) Look at the bigger picture
Love who you are, not just who you show (or see in the mirror!). You are more than your appearance. To love yourself and find yourself beautiful, you must love yourself globally.
2) Tell yourself you are beautiful
Find three parts of your body that you love and strive to always showcase them.
3) Fight complexes, one at a time
Don't like your nose? Do your arms bother you? Do you think your thighs are ugly? Don't just say it: do it! Take different ways to change, make peace with this part of your body, or learn how to camouflage your flaws.
4) Stop complaining
Yes, you're not as thin as you were 15 years ago, but that's no reason to remind yourself every day. Stop looking back and go for it! Accepting that your body is changing is a much more positive attitude.
5) Accept compliments
When someone compliments you, don't be embarrassed. When someone says "That dress looks great on you", don't say "Well you know, I’m wearing Spanx underneath" or "Stop! I think my belly is showing too much!" Be proud and simply say "Thank you!
6) No more comparing yourself!
Yes, all the celebrities in magazines and on TV look great! But they don't live in the same reality as us! And they have hairdressers, make-up artists, stylists, and other "beauty helpers" at their service. If your addiction to extreme comparison is undermining your life, stop looking at women's magazines until you are able to distance yourself from what they offer and real life!
7) The power of mantras
Repeat positive phrases to yourself that help you feel confident!
8) Pamper yourself
Take the time to pamper your body. Don't always take quick showers or baths, treat yourself to a spa night at home. Use products that you like for a moment of softness that helps you love yourself more.
Editor's note: An addiction to be cured
To relieve his anxiety and anguish, the compulsive seducer creates many opportunities for seduction. For some, it is a real addiction that can lead to depression, problems of loneliness but also anxiety disorders and even suicides. Do not hesitate to contact our certified psychologists for help and to regain your self-confidence.
🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!
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