Compulsive Seduction: Why Do I Need To Feel Attractive At All Costs?

Last updated by Katie M.

Is the gaze and approval of others essential for you? Are you incapable of saying no? Do you do everything you can to get yourself noticed? This excessive need to please may well be indicative of a profound uneasiness. Why do you need to feel validated by other people so much? And how can you free yourself from this oppressing tendency? We reveal everything you need to know for a more straightforward lifestyle.

Compulsive Seduction: Why Do I Need To Feel Attractive At All Costs?
Contents:

Compulsive seduction and needing to please is a pathology that leads sufferers to do anything and everything for a minute of recognition. Someone who always needs the validation of others, always wants to be the center of attention and asks only to be loved more and more. Whether it is with work colleagues, bosses, friends, family or even with strangers, sufferers will do everything so that no one remains indifferent to their contact.

Why do some people need to feel attractive and seductive?

The behavior of this type of person reveals a lack of self-confidence and a void that needs to be filled. People who have not been given sufficient affection by their parents are more often affected by this pathology. The compulsive seducer or flirt is then characterized by narcissism and emotional dependence. Certain symptoms can direct you towards this need to please at all costs:

  • A lack of confidence and self-esteem
  • A need for recognition
  • Need for seduction
  • The need to be reassured and valued regarding their image
  • A psychological suffering and a deep malaise

>>> Read why do I constantly need attention? <<<

The signs you are a compulsive seducer

  • You are obsessed with what others think: this question consumes you every day.
  • You hate to be hated: you multiply the attentions, sometimes excessive, to turn the situation to your advantage.
  • You can't say no: you are afraid of hurting others; whether it's to end a relationship or to refuse a date with friends. Furthermore, you are even willing to do things that put you in trouble, such as agreeing to keep the neighbor's cat when you are allergic to it!

This behavior hides a deep suffering. Needing to be seen and to be noticed, is a way of asking the other person to take an interest in you. Compulsive seducers can suffer from depression because they are very anxious and are afraid of abandonment. Lacking in self-confidence, they fill this void through the eyes of others. But then, how can they get rid of it?


"You will be worth to others what you are worth to yourself" Latin proverb.


How can you stop trying to please everyone?

  • Don't see everything negatively; when you meet a neutral person, you enter into a certain automatism. Your brain creates a shortcut, and you directly think that this person is negatively judging you. This reveals a real social anxiety which is linked to the fear of others' looks. Ask yourself, "Why is my judgment biased? "What do I think of myself? Acknowledging your biased perception of the world is a first step.
  • Accept imperfection: you will encounter very different personalities throughout your life. Some will dislike you, inevitably, but it doesn't matter. Focus on the people who like you and spend time with them to keep your spirits up.
  • Learn to say nostart with a small action. First, you need to be comfortable. This will make it easier for you to assert yourself.

What to do when you don’t feel pretty?

Finding yourself beautiful is more than just loving the reflection in the mirror. Here are 8 ways to find yourself beautiful... every day a little more!

1) Look at the bigger picture

Love who you are, not just who you show (or see in the mirror!). You are more than your appearance. To love yourself and find yourself beautiful, you must love yourself globally.

2) Tell yourself you are beautiful

Find three parts of your body that you love and strive to always showcase them.

3) Fight complexes, one at a time

Don't like your nose? Do your arms bother you? Do you think your thighs are ugly? Don't just say it: do it! Take different ways to change, make peace with this part of your body, or learn how to camouflage your flaws.

4) Stop complaining

Yes, you're not as thin as you were 15 years ago, but that's no reason to remind yourself every day. Stop looking back and go for it! Accepting that your body is changing is a much more positive attitude.

5) Accept compliments

When someone compliments you, don't be embarrassed. When someone says "That dress looks great on you", don't say "Well you know, I’m wearing Spanx underneath" or "Stop! I think my belly is showing too much!" Be proud and simply say "Thank you!

6) No more comparing yourself!

Yes, all the celebrities in magazines and on TV look great! But they don't live in the same reality as us! And they have hairdressers, make-up artists, stylists, and other "beauty helpers" at their service. If your addiction to extreme comparison is undermining your life, stop looking at women's magazines until you are able to distance yourself from what they offer and real life!

7) The power of mantras

Repeat positive phrases to yourself that help you feel confident!

8) Pamper yourself

Take the time to pamper your body. Don't always take quick showers or baths, treat yourself to a spa night at home. Use products that you like for a moment of softness that helps you love yourself more.

Editor's note: An addiction to be cured

To relieve his anxiety and anguish, the compulsive seducer creates many opportunities for seduction. For some, it is a real addiction that can lead to depression, problems of loneliness but also anxiety disorders and even suicides. Do not hesitate to contact our certified psychologists for help and to regain your self-confidence.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

We think this content might also interest you:

Article presented by Katie M.

Discover the world through my eyes.

Comments

I am happy that I found this website, This is a rare one, it helped me understand my issues and gave me hope that I can figure out my way through the negative emotions.

Read our latest articles here:

Quality Of Life At Work, An Important Issue!

One of the things that attract me the most when I apply to a company is the quality of life they offer. And be careful, when I say the quality of life, it’s not just about having a table football table in the break room, with a bowl of fresh fruit. It’s a set of aspects that will enable me to feel good at work. What are they? How do you define it, and why is it such an important issue? Quality of life is a vector for performance and well-being, and it can make all the difference. Let’s explain.

10 Passive-Aggressive Examples To Help You Recognize This Behavior

We all have sarcastic and manipulative tendencies that emerge when we feel stressed or even under pressure. Although, we can't particularly be proud of this kind of behavior, we all exhibit it. These negative behaviors are usually noticeable very quickly, that is, except in passive-aggressive people who bury their emotions. These particular individuals act in the shadows but are still very harmful and toxic, especially if you are friends with or even dating one. Discover our 10 examples that will help you to spot passive-aggressive behavior, and reveal what you can do when you are confronted with it.

How To Break Up With Someone You Live With - 5 Tips To Go About It

Have you decided to end your relationship, yet you want to do it in the kindest way possible? If you are in this situation, you must go about it in the right way, regardless of what's gone on or who is to blame. Breakups can be brutal, and you don't want to inflict pain and suffering on your partner, right? But you can't exactly let yourself be unhappy for much longer either, and need to move out. Letting someone down gently is a tough balance to enact, and it involves asking yourself the right questions to make the separation as painless as possible. If you want to be able to walk away from your partner in the smoothest possible way, you're in the right place.

The Power Of Hugs, It's Time To Share The Love

Individualism is great, but deep down we all have needs and do enjoy connecting and exchanging with other people. Humans all need a little affection and comfort at some point in their lives, no matter how strong they claim to be. That's right, at certain points in our lives, we all need to feel reassured, cared for and love, and hugging does just that! The question is why is this seemingly simple gesture so important in lifting our spirits and making us feel better?

10 Morning Routine Ideas For Productivity, Plus They Take Less Than 5 Minutes

At 6:55 a.m., the dreaded alarm clock violently rings out. By 6:56 a.m., you're no doubt already stressed at the thought of having to get up, get ready and rushing around. Yet with a little motivation and 5 minutes to spare, you can transform this stressful morning ritual into a moment of relaxation. A productive day starts in the morning and motivates us to go out and be successful. Starting out right will set you up for a great rest of the day and will remodel your attitude into a winning one! Take a deep breath and put the normal stress to the back of your mind because we're about to enter a peaceful space.

Early Signs Of A Toxic Relationship, And Tips On How To Escape

It's often tough for those in abusive relationships to face the music and admit that things aren't healthy. Controlling behaviors span from constant criticism, which makes victims feel drained, to domestic abuse. If any of these situations ring true to you, then it’s probably about time you gave your relationship some thought and started thinking about leaving the relationship and moving on. We're here to discuss what qualifies a relationship as toxic and what we need to do to put an end to the abuse. After all, it's time you made your future brighter and started focusing on your wellbeing.

These Are The 10 Most Common Reasons People Divorce

Love is only said to last 3 years, which probably explains why only 50% of marriages get past the 9-year mark. Learning this made me instantly realize that I needed to start making more of an effort with my partner if I didn't want to part of this sad statistic. Relationships are tough, what with the daily grind, the invasive in-laws and the temptation to go looking for affection and attention elsewhere. Without further ado, discover the 10 most common reasons for divorce.

Why Do I Constantly Need To Be In Control?

Wanting things to go well is perfectly normal, but sometimes this need for perfection can represent a huge barrier in our lives. Do you have trouble not giving in to the temptation of micromanaging everything in your life? Does leaving things to chance make you nervous and put you on edge? Where does your need to control everything come from? Letting go and becoming more easygoing will change everything for you and help you start living your best life. Discover how to let loose and free yourself from this need.

So What If I Hate Working?

I always thought that I was surrounded by people who loved their jobs, that is until I started openly talking about how much I hate working. Let’s get one thing straight, I’ve never liked my job, but have only recently built up the courage to talk about it. That's right, I used to hide my despair under a huge smile in an effort to convince myself I was overreacting, plus I was also afraid of other people judging me. In fact, daring to share my thoughts got me asking if I was the problem; was I the black sheep? Or, were my reasons for this bold statement justified? It's time to see if are all secretly on the same wavelength.

Why Am I So Used To Falling Out Of Love At Record Speed?

My longest relationship only lasted 2 years, which might not seem like a long time, but it's a big achievement for me because I can never usually get past the 6-month mark without becoming bored stiff. Even though my past relationship have always been healthy, they've never satisfied me, which lead me to wonder am I cursed with eternal dissatisfaction? Relationships never seem to excite me for long enough and always eventually fizzle out, leaving me wanting to head for the hills. Despite my past failures, I still believe in love and want to get to the bottom of why I give up on romance so easily.

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

How to detect a narcissist


"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde


How to soothe an anxiety attack