Compulsive Seduction: Why Do I Need To Please At All Costs?Is the gaze and approval of others essential for you? Are you incapable of saying no? Do you do everything you can to get yourself noticed? This excessive need to please may well be indicative of a profound uneasiness. Why do you need to feel validated by other people so much? And how can you free yourself from this oppressing tendency? We reveal everything you need to know for a more straightforward lifestyle.
Compulsive seduction is a pathology that leads sufferers to do anything and everything for a minute of recognition. Someone who always needs to please wants to be the center of attention and asks only to be loved more and more. Whether it is with work colleagues, bosses, friends, family or even with strangers, sufferers will do everything so that no one remains indifferent to their contact.
Why do some people always need to please?
The behavior of this type of person reveals a lack of self-confidence and a void that needs to be filled. People who have not been given sufficient affection by their parents are more often affected by this pathology. The compulsive seducer or flirt is then characterized by narcissism and emotional dependence. Certain symptoms can direct you towards this need to please at all costs:
- A lack of confidence and self-esteem
- A need for recognition
- Need for seduction
- The need to be reassured and valued with regards to their image
- A psychological suffering and a deep malaise
>>> Read why do I constantly need attention? <<<
Compulsive seducer: The signs you can’t ignore
- You are obsessed with what others think: this question consumes you every day.
- You hate to be hated: you multiply the attentions, sometimes excessive, to turn the situation to your advantage.
- You can't say no: you are afraid of hurting others; whether it's to end a relationship or to refuse a date with friends. You are even willing to do things that put you in trouble, such as agreeing to keep the neighbor's cat when you are allergic to it!
This behavior hides a deep suffering. Needing to be seen and to be noticed, is a way of asking the other person to take an interest in you. Compulsive seducers can suffer from depression because they are very anxious and are afraid of abandonment. Lacking in self-confidence, they fill this void through the eyes of others. But then, how can they get rid of it?
"You will be worth to others what you are worth to yourself" Latin proverb.
How can you stop trying to please everyone?
- Don't see everything negatively; when you meet a neutral person, you enter into a certain automatism. Your brain creates a shortcut and you directly think that this person is negatively judging you. This reveals a real social anxiety which is linked to the fear of others' looks. Ask yourself, "Why is my judgment biased? "What do I think of myself? Acknowledging your biased perception of the world is a first step.
- Accept imperfection: you will encounter very different personalities throughout your life. Some will dislike you, inevitably, but it doesn't matter. Focus on the people who like you and spend time with them to keep your spirits up.
- Learn to say no: start with a small action. First you need to be comfortable. This will make it easier for you to assert yourself.
Editor's note: An addiction to be cured
To relieve his anxiety and anguish, the compulsive seducer creates many opportunities for seduction. For some, it is a real addiction that can lead to depression, problems of loneliness but also anxiety disorders and even suicides. Do not hesitate to contact our certified psychologists for help and to regain your self-confidence.
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