What Is It Really Like To Be In A Polyamorous Relationship?

Last updated by Katie M.

More and more people are deciding to move away from the idea of a traditional relationship involving two partners, and are instead turning to something different and a little more out there. Love comes in all different shapes and sizes, but what’s so great about loving several people at the same time? And is it even possible? It’s time for us to talk about polyamory and how these relationships are experienced. Are these couples freer? Are they happier? Here's everything you need to know.

 Contents:

What’s the definition of polyamory?

There is no official definition of polyamory, but it is often compared to swinging, or polygamy. In a nutshell, it involves having feelings of love for several people at the same time. It also entails experiencing non-exclusive relationships, both emotionally and physically. Although, this type of arrangement differs from the libertine lifestyle, which is based solely on sex.

In the end, the idea is not to go against one's feelings. If you are already in a relationship, and you feel an attraction for another person, you go for it. But beware, being polyamorous does not mean having several love stories at the same time. Connections are formed and unraveled over the course of encounters.

Often, it is around an official partner that other connections often form. In polyamory, exclusivity is of circumstance, it is never a principle. On the contrary, honesty is essential, just as communication with each partner remains the basis of these associations.

> Discover the reasons why we get jealous in relationships and how to manage it <


Here's what you need to note:

And yes, in spite of the few figures which exist on the subject, women are more numerous than the men to try this adventure. The deconstruction of masculinity is not as simple as that, and the discomfort in front of their wife who leaves with another man is often greater than in front of their wife who leaves with another woman. Competition is always there!


Is jealousy a major factor in these relationships?

In spite of total freedom, sharing a person we love is not that simple. All polyamorous people agree that controlling one's emotions and impulses is important. Even when we are in an open relationship, jealousy is common and once again, communication seems to be the solution. Talk with your partner, find the sources of pain and look for solutions together.

It is clear that in polyamory, honesty is a predominant principle! Setting boundaries, explaining one's vision of love, is to give the person opposite the possibility to make their own choices. However, sometimes jealousy is too strong and can create insecurities and deep anguish that may put an end to things.

What about faithfulness? In a free relationship, the idea of fidelity seems to be a thing of the past and yet, rules prevail. There are those who do not want to know anything, but they are rare, those who want to know about the existence of other partners and those who want to know about them but do not meet them, do not open the door to them. Here again, honesty prevails and respect for the rules is important...

Can we be proud of loving several people at the same time?

Loving several people at the same time can be a taboo. While not everyone admits their love for others, others have long since fully assumed their taste for love with several people. In recent years movies and social networking has helped the movement take a step towards greater openness and more understanding about group love existing. According to polyamorous people, to dare to live your love without hiding, you should first have the desire and the conscience not to enter a box and feel emotionally free.


Interesting fact:

Polyamory is not a new concept, and some famous couples have tried it, such as Virginia and Leonard Woolf.


Can polyamorous relationships really work?

With fixed rules, communication, lots of kindness and sacrosanct honesty, it seems that a polyamorous relationship can work. However, if the ideas are fantastic, in practice, how can we reconcile this freedom of the couple and their daily life?

A traditional relationship already requires a lot of time and emotional investment, so how can we manage several of them? Children, a full-time job, sometimes distance. When will we get to see each other? And where? Many people give up, at least for a while, polyamory when the logistics of seeing each other become a real headache.

Poorly managed jealousy can also be the source of polyamory's failure. For this set up to work, therefore, a very significant personal investment is required. Questions about oneself, about one's desires, desires, but also about one's availability must be continuous. Yes, freedom is something you have to work on!

Polyamory is perhaps the future, but what is certain is that just like monogamy, it does not work for everyone. However, it at least has the advantage of adorning itself with the finery of communication and honesty, far from the unfaithful and runners of petticoats.

The editor's opinion: An unconscious guilt

For the psychiatrist, psychoanalyst and couple therapist Éric Smadja, author of Couple and its History, these polyamorous people suffer from an unconscious guilt linked to sexuality. Guilt inherited from the Oedipus, the symbolic realization of an incestuous desire.
"By multiplying the partners, the "polys" perhaps seek to protect themselves from it, to move away from the parental or fraternal figure so much desired".
If you encounter difficulties in your relationships, or if you are unable to be in tune with yourself, have a therapist accompany you, you will find the keys together.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

The following content might also interest you:

Article presented by
Katie M.

🌻 Discover the world through my eyes.

Read our latest articles here:

What Are The 6 Types Of Narcissism?

There are a whole range of narcissistic personalities out there, and they scale from highly toxic to rather positive (surprising, right?!). That being said, most mental health experts agree that there are 6 types of narcissistic profiles, which whilst they may all be based on an inflated sense of self-esteem, they are in reality all drastically different, and more or less severe. When it comes to dealing with this type of personality disorder, it’s best to know what you are up against, in order to react appropriately, as well as to avoid falling into their traps and becoming their latest victim. After all, knowledge is power, and that’s never be truer than in this particular context.

10 Weird Things Narcissists Do Sexually - Romance Is Dead

As with many things in life, narcissists also have unhealthy relationships with sex and treat it as nothing more than a self-gratifying activity. After all, manipulation, control, and emotional abuse are their so-called trusty weapons that they hide behind in most circumstances, so why wouldn’t they call on them in the bedroom too? The bottom line is people with this personality disorder are used to getting what they want and will only ever put themselves and their pleasure first, which doesn’t bode well for a healthy sex life. 🙈 Discover the weird things narcissists do in the bedroom and what you should do if you are involved with one.

Are Narcissists Born Or Made? - Let's Settle The Debate

There you have it, the nature vs nurture debate is back, only this time I want to focus it on those deviously manipulative personalities we refer to as narcissists. Now, evidently these folks get bad press and rightly so because they are often at the root of plenty of harm, but is it really their fault? Can they really be blamed for their terrifying and perhaps inherent traits, or are they simply just products and in this case victims of their environments? Let’s settle this debate once and for all and figure out how and when this disorder becomes apparent. So, are you born a narcissist or is it developed?

Why Your Boyfriend Gets Defensive When You Talk About My Feelings

Relationships are never exactly straightforward, and at points, a crystal ball wouldn’t go amiss when it comes to understanding what your partner’s reactions are hiding. Now, sadly not all of us own a trusty crystal ball, but our experience when it comes to love is just as precious in analyzing potential pitfalls related to emotions. This may sound a little cliché, but us girls love talking about our feelings, whether that be about when we are falling in love, or when we are feeling sad. Yet some guys get really defensive whenever these serious topics come round, here’s why.

How Long Will A Narcissist Rebound Relationship Last?

Narcissist rebound relationships generally last anywhere from 6-months to a year. Now, whilst the timeframe depends on each individual, these twisted personalities usually head into these relationships with a plan in mind, meaning they know exactly when and where they'll break things off. Plus, when they are in the final stages of a relationship with you, they are no doubt in the process of grooming their next victim. That's right, the need for a constant narcissistic supply means that they aren't likely to date any one person for an extensive period of time. For them, they require fresh blood every 6-months or so because they simply get bored. Let's take a look at the reasons why they keep their rebounds short, but not so sweet.

Is Sleeping With A Colleague Or Your Boss A Dangerous Game?

I’ve had a crush on someone at work before. Honestly, if I hadn’t found out later that he was in a relationship, I’d have gone all out to seduce him. Except that we all know the “No sex at work” rule, which means that it’s a bad idea to sleep with a colleague, or worse, your boss! Is it really that dangerous a game? What do you risk if you’re caught in the act? I’ll explain it all to you (yes, I did my homework before going for it)!

I’m Having Doubts About My Relationship

This happens often. Since life in a relationship, and even love, are never a smooth ride, of course, I have my doubts 😵‍💫. Not on the same wavelength, the impression that the grass is greener on the other side, different plans… Under the weight of doubts, love loses its splendor. Can it be fixed? I don’t think so, but the important thing is to know how to react.

What Is Candaulism?

Now, many of you are no doubt scratching your head wondering what candaulism means, but some of you must already know by now, and that would explain the recent spike in Google searches for the term. Candaulism is in fact a sexual practice in which a man exposes his female partner or photos of her, to other consenting people. This particular fantasy is therefore associated with exhibitionism. Although that’s not all, the term can also apply to a male partner watching his girlfriend or wife making love to someone else. So, let’s take a peep (get it?) at this practice.

Create a Peaceful Living Space

For years, I didn’t really take care of my home. Not that it was dirty, but there was no particular decoration, and most of all, a lot of clutter. Then one day, I decided to do a major decluttering! I thought it would be a dreadful task, but in the end, I realized that organizing my apartment also helped clear my mind. We often overlook this, but having a peaceful living space truly makes a difference!

Mature Love: How Do Relationships Evolve Over Time?

They say that love is like fine wine: it evolves, matures, and becomes even more delightful with time. I say "they say," but in reality, I’m certain of it. Even though I’m single as I write this article, I’ve experienced long-lasting love stories, and there’s nothing quite like reaching mature love—the kind that provides security and support. That’s why today, I want to talk to you about how romantic relationships evolve!



Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist

wengood

  1. Only LoveBen Howard
    4:08
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
    4:55
  4. Beautiful DayU2
    4:08
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
    4:41
  6. White FlagDido
    4:00
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
    4:13
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
    3:17
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
    3:35
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
    4:24
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
    3:07
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
    4:37
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
    3:46
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
    2:17
  15. With Or Without YouU2
    4:56
  16. HelloAdele
    4:55
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
    3:29
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
    3:21
  19. WingsBirdy
    4:12
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar
    3:41

How to detect a narcissist

How to detect a narcissist

How to soothe an anxiety attack

How to soothe an anxiety attack