I’ve always been a truly empathetic person, and can finally admit that my inherent need to save and help people have been my biggest downfall when it comes to love. Looking back, I can now see that my kindness and willingness to be present for others, truly exposed me to the toxic depravity of what certain people are capable of. Over the years, whether it’s been in friendship, or in love, I’ve been left feeling crushed once too often, yet I guess the bitter heartbreak I felt wasn’t actually painful enough to ensure I paid attention to the red flags with my ex.
>>> Find out whether or not you are an empath
I was in love with a narcissist, and it almost completely broke me
If you are anything like me, you’ll know all about the advantages and disadvantages of being highly sensitive. Empaths feel everything ten times stronger than other people, and because we have such good intentions, nothing can stop us in our quest to heal people. In other words, we are simply incapable of keeping ourselves to ourselves and NEED to feel like we are putting something good back into the world, which probably goes some way in explaining why I ended up in a toxic relationship with a narcissist.
Now, the truth is, I knew what my ex was like, I knew he was an emotional vampire. Yes, I was aware of his narcissistic tendencies, and chose to ignore them in the hope that my love and support would change him. Sadly I was wrong, very wrong… I was with my ex for over 3 years, that’s right 3 years of hellish daily abuse and manipulation. Now, like every relationship, everything started out perfectly, things were so great between us that my friends described us as couple goals, and I think this encouraged me to plunge myself further into a field of denial with regard to his behavior. It made me want to ignore his vicious codependency and fight through the issues. Although, unfortunately, things didn’t remain rosy for long, and when the narcissist abuse really kicked in I felt like I was drowning in a lonely sea of darkness, and as if my soul had lost its purity.
It’s only natural for a narcissist to manipulate an empath, that’s why they can’t be together
As much as it pains me to say, it’s a dog-eat-dog world out there, and only the strong survive, so, with that in mind, what chance does an empath like me faced against a raging narcissist like my ex? In my case, my ex-partner was never there for me and demonstrated a clear lack of empathy towards me, although, he expected me to be his emotional support system no matter how much it would wear me down. He was completely relentless in his demands, but his controlling behavior had a hypnotic effect on me and saw me tending to his every need, despite how terrible it made me feel. Yup, there was a clear power imbalance in my relationship, and I always came out on the losing side. I was his figurative punching bag, and I’d always allow him to unload his aggressive, damaging, and entitled attitudes onto me. This was certainly a one-way relationship, and in my honest opinion, an emotionally abusive one too!
Being an empath doesn’t mean I couldn’t walk away
Believe me, I tried with every fiber of my being to salvage my relationship, but my ex just wasn’t prepared to address his issues, which meant working towards something healthy was completely out of the question. Realizing that I deserved better was a tough journey, but thanks to the support of my friends and family, I eventually got there and was able to walk away permanently. I could no longer sacrifice my own personal growth and wellbeing for someone who was unwilling to reciprocate my feelings and efforts.
>>> Read up on what happens when an empath leaves a narcissist
Editor’s opinion - Being an empath doesn’t mean you have to suffer
Walking away from a relationship is a troubling prospect for many of us, although it’s even tougher for empaths who believe they have a duty to save those that they love. The truth is, not everyone can be saved, and not everyone wants to be saved either. This realization should act as a wake-up call for people to put their own happiness first, instead of sacrificing it for the sake of others, so one that note, no, an empath should never date a narcissist!
🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!
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