How To Understand Our Limiting Beliefs And Tips On Transforming Them

Last updated by Katie M.

The sky is the limit…but is it really? We all have limiting thoughts that lie deep within us that prevent us from realizing our true potential. Whether we believe we aren't good enough, or smart enough, or even pretty enough, these horrible insecurities present huge barriers in our daily lives. Indeed, they are linked to a lack of self-confidence and can be very penalizing if they are never addressed. Don't you think it's time you took control? Our tips will help you feel better than ever and will give you the strength to overcome these self-imposed hurdles.

How To Understand Our Limiting Beliefs And Tips On Transforming Them
Contents:

What are limiting thoughts?

They are essentially doubts that act like iron chains. Yes, that's right, they are often very heavy burdens to deal with on a daily basis! They can be likened to the fact of believing in the existence of someone or something, in other words, you believe that something is your reality, you get used to it, and, you no longer doubt its existence, so you live by it, for it and with it.

So, there you have it, there are both negative and positive beliefs, as for the positive ones, they have to be anchored, developed, and amplified. But the negative ones on the other hand, as you have no doubt already guessed, are much less satisfying to deal with.

For example: When I was little, everyone said that I was shy. Today, every public speech that I make throws me into a state of stress and makes me feel shy (since it's in my reality).

Why do these beliefs hold us back?

Whether they are positive or negative, they influence our life, our character etc… simply because our behaviors are a reflection of what we think they are! Therapists call this the self-fulfillment of prophecies. It is a vicious circle because our behavior will adapt to our beliefs so that they correspond to each other and obviously our brain will select (only) the information it is able to confirm, meaning it is a cognitive bias.

Where do they come from?

Usually, they come from our childhoods. Above I told you that they were a habit for you. Well, by dint of repeating certain things, phrases, and patterns, they become anchored in you, in your mind and by the force of cognitive bias, of self-realization, you will believe in them again and again… So, it has become YOUR REALITY. They come from your education, society, culture, family circle etc…

Here are some examples of common limiting beliefs:

  • Women are all jealous, possessive, and “endearing”…
  • You have to work hard to succeed. And of course, you can't make a living without working.
  • Money doesn't make you happy, and you lose even your sincere friends.

>>> Read about why denial is used as a defense method.

The different steps to transform these beliefs:

1. First, we must become aware of them.

If something you do or say always brings you the same disappointing and negative result, ask yourself why. You must identify your belief in order to pretend to transform it. To help you do this, you can identify sentences that repeat the words “always”, “never”, or “all” to yourself.

Example: I've always been shy, that's how it is!

2. Now that you've identified it, you need to know where it comes from.

Where can it come from? What are its foundations?

Example: My school teacher used to tell my parents that I was too shy, which caused me uncertainty and doubts when I had to speak up in class.

3. Find something to contradict this belief.

Look for things in your experiences that may uproot this belief.

Example: I managed to give a speech at my best friend's wedding in front of 300 people.

4. Now ask yourself how it weakens you on a daily basis.

By understanding how they can slow you down, you can do something about it. If you don't know the impact, they have on you, you can't move forward, they will do it again and again.

Example: I don't want to be a professor/lecturer at the university I love so much. I don't feel capable of giving a lecture in front of an amphitheater full of students.

5. Work little by little, step by step.

There's no point in running, at the risk of picking you up! Don't forget that a belief (good or bad) is your truth. Even if you've just realized the deception, it's been ingrained for a long time. So, after your work of analysis, progress slowly but surely to avoid reproducing the prophecy!

Example: I'm going to have dinner with some friends this weekend. I'll take advantage of the occasion to make a nice speech to explain my situation and my project to them.

6. Reframe your new belief loud and clear.

Give it life and strength of will so that you become more aware of it. Positive affirmations can be a very good complement to this exercise.

Example: I know I can do it, (since I've already done something similar) I will put my soul into it (and gain self-confidence).

Why don’t I believe in myself?

A lack of self-confidence comes from an unmet need, usually experienced in our past. It is not always easy to identify this need, but it can help to understand where the loss of self-confidence comes from. For example, if you can never make a decision and miss opportunities because of it, you lack the confidence to know what you want. In your past, you may have lacked the space to be listened to (if, for example, you grew up in a large family). A psychologist can help you identify this lack and work to regain lost confidence.

Editor's opinion: One limiting belief at a time!

Beware of self-sabotage and review one limiting belief at a time, before trying to flush out others. You are your own limit, you put your own obstacles in your way (and that's normal → don't feel guilty and don't devalue yourself) BUT you are also your own savior! Today, you can learn and perfect yourself in the art of building bridges between these obstacles!

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

Check out the following content:

Article presented by Katie M.

Discover the world through my eyes.

Read our latest articles here:

I’m Unable To Ask For Or Accept Help, But Why?

For a long time, I didn’t know how to ask for help or simply accept it. “No, don’t worry, I’ll be fine”, I used to say when people close to me offered me their support, even though I wasn’t doing well at all. In fact, it took me a long time to get psychological support, because I was convinced that I could cope on my own. What’s behind this behavior? Why can’t you ask for help? With hindsight, I’ve understood what was behind it, and I think that talking about it might help! Here are some explanations.

I Feel Useless

There have been times in my life when I’ve felt useless, too much, out of place... Whether at work or even in general. I felt like I wasn’t contributing anything to anyone. Fortunately, I managed to combat this feeling, thanks in particular to therapy. I understood where it was coming from, and I managed to get rid of this negative emotion. Today, I’m sharing with you how to move on.

How Narcissists Treat Their Exes

Walking away and definitively closing the door on your relationship with a narcissistic ex-partner is one of the most emotionally draining challenges you can face. After all, these manipulative bullies are never willing to just let bygones be bygones, and always want to have the final word after the break-down of a relationship 😈. Besides, when narcissists get dumped, their inner demon raises its ugly head and becomes determined to (metaphorically) destroy their ex-partner.

What Happens When A Narcissists Loses Control? 10 Things Play Out

You probably know by now that narcissists only ever look for one thing and one thing only; and that’s control! Whether in their personal or professional life, folks with this personality disorder need to be in the driving seat and the one calling the shots, otherwise all hell breaks loose. Although their cunning and manipulative nature means they are often hard to escape, it is still possible to turn the tables on them and take the upper hand. Yet, you’ll need a thick skin to do so because when they feel their power slipping away, they become even more dangerous and abusive; here’s how they react when that happens.

10 Weird Things Narcissists Do Sexually - Romance Is Dead

As with many things in life, narcissists also have unhealthy relationships with sex and treat it as nothing more than a self-gratifying activity. After all, manipulation, control, and emotional abuse are their so-called trusty weapons that they hide behind in most circumstances, so why wouldn’t they call on them in the bedroom too? The bottom line is people with this personality disorder are used to getting what they want and will only ever put themselves and their pleasure first, which doesn’t bode well for a healthy sex life. Discover the weird things narcissists do in the bedroom and what you should do if you are involved with one.

Can A Narcissist Become Obsessed With Someone?

Now, narcissists are known for demonstrating a worrying lack of empathy along with deviously manipulative traits, oh, and before I forget to mention it, HUGE egos too. Yes, that’s right, they love spending hours looking in the mirror and being told how fabulous they are. To put it in other words, people with this personality disorder are firmly in love with themselves, to the point of being totally obsessed with their so-called perfection, but the question is, can they put their self-admiration aside enough to become preoccupied with someone else?

10 Reasons Why Your Ex Slept With Someone Else After Your Breakup

We are all unique individuals, and we, therefore, go about handling breakups and the other obstacles life throws our way, differently. Now, when it comes to breakups, there are those of us that almost become celibate and decide that they can't stand the idea of getting to know anyone ever again. Then, on the other hand, there are those that fill their phones with dating apps and jump from one one-night stand to the next. This second scenario may seem harmless, but once we dig a little deeper into the repercussions of it, we soon realize that sleeping with other people so freshly out of a relationship masks troubling sentiments of unhappiness and uneasiness.

What Does A Narcissist Hate?

Narcissists are experts in the field of duping and manipulating their victims, yes, that’s right they are true chameleons, which explains why many of them often go undetected. Their behavior is definitely dangerous and means we definitely need to figure out what makes them tick and, in this particular case, what they hate. Understanding what these entitled personalities dislike is one of the keys to best exposing them and freeing their victims from their grip. Now, we all get angry for one reason or another, but people with this personality disorder have different triggers related to the things they despise.

Do Narcissists Come Back?

You're probably thinking that once a narcissist has upped sticks and fled, he'll never dare to show his face again, however, quite the opposite is true. The reality is that these folks are like bad smells, there's no getting rid of them quickly, therefore regardless of all the pain, hurt, and trauma they've put their victims through, they'll always make a comeback, just to prove that they are still in control 😨. In fact, no matter how much time has passed, these torturous monsters will always eventually rear their ugly heads, just to get in that one last vicious blow. Discover which 10 circumstances they'll decide to show up in their exes' lives.

5 Scary Things A Narcissist Smear Campaign Involves

We hear so much about these emotional abusers in every walk of life that we are sometimes so overloaded with information regarding them, meaning we often miss the red flags that, in hindsight, seem blatantly obvious. These vindictive manipulators often use smear campaigns as a way of getting back at their victims and villainizing them publicly. That's right, these evil campaigns are an effective method for them to change the narrative of the abuse, and to present themselves as victims, when in reality they are the perpetrators of the terror.

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist

wengood

  1. Only LoveBen Howard
    4:08
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
    4:55
  4. Beautiful DayU2
    4:08
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
    4:41
  6. White FlagDido
    4:00
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
    4:13
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
    3:15
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
    3:35
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
    4:24
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
    3:07
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
    4:37
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
    3:46
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
    2:19
  15. With Or Without YouU2
    4:56
  16. HelloAdele
    4:55
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
    3:29
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
    3:21
  19. WingsBirdy
    4:12
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar
    3:41


"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde


How to detect a narcissist

How to detect a narcissist

How to soothe an anxiety attack

How to soothe an anxiety attack