What Is Separation Anxiety Between Mom And Baby, And How Can It Be Relieved?

Last updated by Katie M.

Separation anxiety is defined as the intense fear or worry of being away from the person we are most attached to. In fact, this feeling frequently appears in children and their parents, as well as in animals too! When we form such strong bonds with those dearest to us, it can be hard to spend time apart and get on with our own lives. Read on for more insights into this feeling, and discover how the impact of separation can be lessened between parents and their children.

What Is Separation Anxiety Between Mom And Baby, And How Can It Be Relieved?
Contents: 

Is this a symptom of anxiety, or an anxiety disorder?

Separation anxiety is a normal phase in a baby’s development. It often occurs around the eighth month when the child starts developing motor skills and becomes independent. At the beginning of life, humans are the only mammals that don’t know how to move on their own and when they do, they need a protective gaze on them.

This is one of the reasons for this separation anxiety. It regularly lasts until the child is 18 months old, sometimes less but rarely more, otherwise it’s called separation anxiety disorder. This anxiety disorder develops mainly in children between 6 and 7 years of age, but sometimes also in teenagers. Adolescents experience strong anxiety when they have to leave their loved ones (especially their parents) and their home. Separation anxiety disorder occurs when a child displays three of these eight symptoms:

  • excessive distress in situations where there is separation from people to whom the child is attached,
  • excessive and persistent fear related to the disappearance of one or more primary caregivers,
  • excessive and persistent fear of an unhappy event that separates the child from their primary caregivers,
  • persistent reluctance or refusal to go to school because of this fear of separation,
  • excessive reluctance to stay home alone or to go to other environments or places alone,
  • refusal to go to bed without being close to a caregiver,
  • recurrent nightmares about separation,
  • repeated physical complaints during separation from people to whom the child is attached.

>>> This article may help you: What is the 333 rule for anxiety?

Separation anxiety: Attachment and a body of your own

While separation anxiety disorder is a condition that needs to be treated, sometimes with the help of individual or family therapy, separation anxiety is a necessary stage of development because it means the baby is growing up, becoming aware of the world around him or her and above all has created a bond of attachment with his or her parents, because he or she feels safe. And then, while they were in total symbiosis during pregnancy, then more partial with their parent, mainly the mother, suddenly they become aware that they have their own body, and so they experience the mental separation and the anxiety that goes with it!

Relieving anxiety in children: What do I do, and what should I avoid doing?

As we have seen, it’s an important phase in a baby’s development and although it’s often short, it can be very difficult for both parents and the child. So, I have some tips that should help you during this time.

1. Give your child their favorite cuddly toy

This is the time to introduce them to a cuddly toy! The cuddly toy, pacifier or any other object is a substitute for the parent. It’s the object that symbolizes the continuation of the attachment bond in the absence of the parents. It’s therefore the ideal time to bond with Bunny, Teddy or Piggy etc.

2. Stay close to your child

Stay close to your child when they arrive in unfamiliar territory. They need time to get used to a new place, so stay close to them to reassure them and give them gentle encouragement.

3. Play hide-and-seek

Play hide-and-seek or peek-a-boo so that your child integrates the idea of the permanence of the object: even when my parents or an object are no longer under my gaze, they continue to exist.

4. Don’t overreact

Make the separation a pleasant – but short – moment! Basically, if your child cries, console them, then give them a kiss, say goodbye and then leave. Don’t overdramatize the situation.

>>> Discover why I don't want to breastfeed.

What you should avoid doing:

1. Don’t start babysitting during this time. You may aggravate or prolong the separation anxiety.

2. Don’t force them to go to others, and don’t make him angry if he tries to express a concern.

3. Avoid changing rooms without warning your child. Communicating with your baby is essential and even if they don’t always understand what you’re telling them, they know that you’re talking to them. This is why you should say “I’m going to get something from the car, I’m coming back.”, “I’m going to the toilet, I’m coming back.”, etc. Finally, avoid leaving without saying anything when the baby is playing or sleeping. They will end up looking for you and will get the impression they have been abandoned when they realize you’re not there anymore.

Depending on the child, the anxiety lasts for a longer or shorter period of time, and it already gives indications of your child’s character: rather resilient or perhaps a little more explosive! But if the anxiety lasts longer than 18 months, it may be worth talking to a specialist.

What about in adults?

Adults can also suffer from separation anxiety. This is more of an intolerance of loneliness, even a panicked fear of loneliness and abandonment. These people often have complicated love lives because they start a relationship primarily to avoid being alone, rather than for love. It’s therefore impossible for them to escape from a toxic relationship or a narcissistic pervert.

The fear of being alone is greater than anything else. It’s typically those around them who notice this difficulty. You should therefore help the person suffering from separation anxiety by suggesting therapy. It’s the only way to heal a wound that often goes back to early childhood and prevents the person from going through life alone!

Editor’s note: Don’t hesitate to seek help

If you feel that the separation anxiety is too great for your child or that something isn’t right, don’t hesitate to contact a psychologist to take stock of the situation.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe


Be sure to check out the following articles too;

Article presented by Katie M.

🌻 Discover the world through my eyes.

Read our latest articles here:

9 Things Psychologically Strong People Have In Common

I’m not psychologically strong, but I’m trying to become so. At least, there are things I still need to work on, because yes, I’m aware of the aspects that make a person mentally strong and able to rise above anything. I’ve identified 9 things that psychologically strong people have in common through various readings and my own experience. So if you want to be happier and stronger, here’s what you need to work on!

I Feel Different To Others

“No, but you’re an artist.” “You see, you’re quite original after all!” That’s the kind of comment I typically hear from my friends on a regular (very regular) basis. Compliments? Not really. More like a polite way of letting me know that I’m out of sync with them, that I’m trying too hard, or not hard enough, that I’m different. And do you know what? I think they’ve got a point.

Should You Really Confess Your Feelings?

Who hasn’t had a crush in their life? You know, it’s when you fall for someone and have feelings for them even though you don’t really know them. I’m one of those people who have had lots of crushes, and sometimes I’ve even admitted my feelings. In fact, a recent example was just before I started my relationship with my current partner. I offloaded what I was feeling all of a sudden… I’ll tell you why I did it and how to go about it.

How Does A Narcissist React When They Can't Control You? 10 Things They Do

You probably know by now that narcissists only ever look for one thing and one thing only; and that’s control! Whether in their personal or professional life, folks with this personality disorder need to be in the driving seat and the one calling the shots, otherwise all hell breaks loose. 😨 Although their cunning and manipulative nature means they are often hard to escape, it is still possible to turn the tables on them and take the upper hand. Yet, you’ll need a thick skin to do so because when they feel their power slipping away, they become even more dangerous and abusive; here’s how they react when that happens.

I Still Suck My Thumb As An Adult

In general, thumb sucking ends around the age of 6. I say “in general” and not “normally”, because as an adult I don’t feel weird or particularly bothered by it. When I get stressed, I allow myself to let go and return to my childhood self by sucking my thumb. Those who know about it or catch me by surprise make me realize I should be ashamed… But is this habit a big deal? What if it makes me feel better? It’s certainly no worse than lighting up a cigarette or biting your nails…

Are Narcissists Lonely?

Loneliness is one of society’s biggest enemies, and none of us are exempt from it, not even the most devilish of narcissists out there. In fact, throughout the Coronavirus pandemic, 36% of Americans claimed that they have never felt lonelier, which sets a scary benchmark for the wider population 😔. Now, lots of us would no doubt immediately assume that narcissists are too independent and strong-willed to feel alone, however, the truth is they are often the biggest victims of loneliness, yet simply have trouble expressing their inner malaise.

How To Start Afresh In Life - 12 Steps To Follow To Start Over

If you’re here reading this article, you’ve no doubt recently made a literal life-changing decision. Realizing you want to change paths and take on new challenges is definitely admirable and very brave, but how can you make your wishes come true? The desire to start over is often motivated by an uncomfortable situation or disappointing realizations that can be difficult to bear. Suffering isn’t the solution, and we can to help you turn things around, which is why we’re about to give you our precious advice on turning things around. Who needs a magic wand when you have us?!

I Cry Everyday For No Reason, What Is Wrong With Me?

At the slightest annoyance or worry that crops us, I seem to almost immediately start crying. It doesn't matter if it’s in front of the news, a movie, if I’ve been criticized at work or gotten into an argument with my family, I open the floodgates. With each strong emotion, tears run down my cheeks. All this makes me wonder about my mental health and ask myself if this is normal to be like that? Is crying a lot a bad thing? Here are the explanations needed.

How Do Narcissistic People Treat Their Children?

Growing up with narcissistic parents is certainly no easy feat, because, let's face it, people with this disorder are unsympathetic, selfish, manipulative, egotistical, and dishonest, yes, that's right, these traits aren't exactly those showcased by the parents of the year. Realistically, these folks simply don't have the basic qualities required to become good parents, which is why, when they choose to have a family, things often spin out of control, and the narcissistic abuse undoubtedly crushes children's mental health.

Signs A Narcissist Is Playing Mind Games With You And What To Do

People with narcissistic personality disorders love playing games because it reinforces their sense of control and validates their need to pull the strings. Now, the idea of playing games may seem fairly harmless and innocent, but the truth could be further away from the reality when these manipulative personalities are involved. 😱 Indeed, narcissists are always one step ahead of the rest of us, which makes it difficult to recognize when they are toying with people. So, to open your eyes to what they are truly capable of, discover the lengths they’ll go to, to remain on top.



Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist

wengood

  1. Only LoveBen Howard
    4:08
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
    4:55
  4. Beautiful DayU2
    4:08
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
    4:41
  6. White FlagDido
    4:00
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
    4:13
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
    3:17
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
    3:35
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
    4:24
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
    3:07
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
    4:37
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
    3:46
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
    2:17
  15. With Or Without YouU2
    4:56
  16. HelloAdele
    4:55
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
    3:29
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
    3:21
  19. WingsBirdy
    4:12
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar
    3:41

How to detect a narcissist

How to detect a narcissist

How to soothe an anxiety attack

How to soothe an anxiety attack