In addition to being extremely painful, a betrayal turns everything in your life upside down and has many consequences. It's difficult to get back on your feet and regain your self-confidence after experiencing this. Yet life goes on, but then how do you rebuild yourself? How do we overcome this ordeal?
In friendship as in love, there is a sort of moral contract between two people. When this contract is shattered, landmarks explode, disillusionment is total and we must then mourn the relationship. In a life, betrayal is never trivial and often leaves deep scars, here is how to move forward.
5 steps to recovering from betrayal
1. Making a phone call to a friend
A problem shared is a problem halved! Choose an attentive ear that will understand you without judging you. Finding support will be invaluable in helping you move forward and will surely open your eyes. What if your break-up was actually a good thing? Perhaps this betrayal has actually rid you of a toxic relationship?
2. Refocusing on who we care about
Take time to list what you really care about, what makes you feel good, and the moral values that are unique to you. If the person who betrayed you no longer corresponds to these values then you have been lucky enough to escape from this relationship.
3. Understanding the process of moving forward
The person who betrayed you certainly has their reasons, even if they are not acceptable to you. Hearing them will allow you to better manage your disappointment or to grant forgiveness, if you feel able to start afresh.
4. Take time to reflect
Don't jump to conclusions, especially if the facts have been reported to you by a third party. Ask yourself if you have done something wrong or if it’s not just a simple misunderstanding? In short, take the time to calm down and analyze the situation before taking action.
5. Looking to the future
It's not about replacing the person who betrayed you, but simply about meeting new people so that you can move on more quickly. Happiness is learned, and little by little the disappointment and loneliness that invade you will fade away, giving way to the memory of a probably shaky relationship that ended because that's the way life goes...
The shrink's opinion: Heavy consequences...
A betrayal has heavy consequences, it's a real trauma. Especially since this betrayal is often accompanied by a feeling of guilt because we imagine that we are responsible in one way or another. In cases of infidelity, psychologist Dennis Ortman calls it the "post-infidelity stress syndrome". These symptoms resemble those of post-traumatic stress disorder.
If you seek help to regain your balance, you must at all costs prevent this event from leaving a permanent mark on your future relationships.
Overcoming betrayal isn’t easy, but thanks to these 5 steps, you will no doubt be able to take back the reins of your life and finally achieve everything you deserve.
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