I’m Scared I’ll Lose My Friends After Having A Baby

Last updated by Katie M.

When you’re the first in a group of friends to have a child, you may find that they don’t understand or are just unaware of your new situation. Fewer phone calls, no more invites, no news for days, the list goes on and on. Our priorities have changed, and the person our friends knew before isn’t quite the same person today. The fear of losing your friends after having a child isn’t unfounded.

I’m Scared I’ll Lose My Friends After Having A Baby

The solitude of parenthood

Even though I was quite an indoorsy person, before I had a child, I spent a lot of time drinking, chatting, and dancing with my friends. After my son was born, everything changed 👶. I no longer went out after 9pm, just so I could take care of things during the night. I didn’t want to bore them with my baby’s achievements and pictures, but as he was a big part of my life, I didn’t say much anymore. When they suggested we go away for 4 days together, I flat out refused: I find it hard to leave my baby 😨... It didn’t go down well.

I won’t lie, the leap into parenthood can come with a deep sense of lonelinessThose who aren’t parents don’t know. They don’t know this new life. They’re far from it and if they’re not simply annoyed, they’re sometimes just afraid to bother you and impose. There shouldn’t be any fears, and even fewer regrets. The problem isn’t them, it’s me.

>>> Find out how we can reduce stress in children

Losing or sorting

I’ve never believed in eternal friendships that last a lifetime, so losing a few friends in exchange for my amazing baby, well you talk as if it bothers me! But at the end of the day, I haven’t really lost friends. After my baby was born, I changed and the nature of my friendships therefore changed too. I have friends who are very happy or loyal enough to come and have a glass of wine with me on my sofa, without turning the music up too loud. There are even others who come with me to the park or the petting zoo, even on a Sunday morning. Some ask me well in advance to book a restaurant so that I have the time to find a babysitter for my son, or even suggest lunches.

👉 In short, those who want to see us will always make an effort to see us!

You don’t necessarily lose friends when you become parents, you really sort through them to find the balance that fits your new life 😉. And if it’s not a child that disrupts friendships, it’s sometimes life, age, events that separate us, that make us lose each other, because nothing ever stays the same.

>>> Discover why we need to stop comparing our kids

The power of communication strikes again

The only piece of advice that I’d give that is true for all types of relationships is to communicate: open up your heart, say what you feel and talk about your fears. Friends sometimes don’t know where they fit into your new life as parents and if they don’t have children, they can’t guess. Even when they have children, every experience is different and nobody can read minds, so make an effort to talk to each other to understand, rather than blaming each other.

⚖️ The balance between your friends from before and the baby now comes about gradually, but friendship needs to be maintained, so keep sending a little message from time to time and answer calls.

Editor’s note: natural selection...

Losing some friends along the way can hurt because you expect to go through the big stages of life together like in the movies. It’s not always the case, but rest assured, you’ll also make new friends with whom you’ll feel more in tune. Motherhood is already one hell of an experience in itself that turns a lot of things upside down, maybe it’s not worth getting upset with people who don’t want to listen? 👉 And if the loss of certain friendships or at least the fact that you see each other less hurts you or makes you feel bad, don’t hesitate to talk to a psychologist about it.

🤗 Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... It’s here and now!
#BornToBeMe

Be sure to check out the following articles too;

Article presented by Katie M.

Discover the world through my eyes.

Read our latest articles here:

How To Make A Narcissist Fear You?

Now, I know what you’re thinking, scaring a narcissist is impossible, so, let me stop you right there because it’s totally false! Getting these awful manipulators to fear you is no easy challenge, however, there are certain things you can do that will help you turn the tables on them in no time. Letting these abusers know that they’ve met their match is the first important step toward the road to recovery, so I hope you’re ready for the journey. Here are 10 ways to scare a narcissist

What Exactly Does It Mean To Be An Extrovert?

I wish I could say loud and clear that I’m an extrovert, but not at all. I belong to the opposite team, the team of introverts. However, even though we don’t operate in the same way, that doesn’t prevent me from being surrounded by extroverts. I myself have a few moments when my introversion gives way to my extroversion, when I feel good, surrounded by a few people that I know well. So how does extroversion work? How is it different? What can you do to get on well with an extrovert? Let me explain.

Everything You Need To Know About Hyper-Empathy

Sometimes you’re devastated by your best friend’s break-up, sometimes you’re euphoric about your sister’s pregnancy... Sometimes it feels like other people’s emotions are invading you, so much so that you feel like you’re experiencing what they’re going through like it’s your own life. Have you ever felt this way? Maybe you’re affected by hyper-empathy, a characteristic not dissimilar to hypersensitivity. But what exactly is it? How do you distinguish between the two? And above all, how do you know if you’re hyper-empathetic? Let me explain.

8 Reasons Why All Narcissists Are Hypocrites

If you know anything about narcissists, you'll surely be aware that they are extremely overly judgmental and critical, especially towards other people. Their faultfinding stems from their perception of ultimate superiority, and therefore legitimizes them in holding people to intimidatingly high standards. However, although they may believe they are pretty much perfect, the reality couldn't be any more different, yet they are slightly more forgiving with themselves. That's right, they are huge hypocrites and go from one extreme to another in a split second. Here we discuss the reasons behind their hypocritical behavior.

Are Narcissists Born Or Made? - Let's Settle The Debate

There you have it, the nature vs nurture debate is back, only this time I want to focus it on those deviously manipulative personalities we refer to as narcissists. Now, evidently these folks get bad press and rightly so because they are often at the root of plenty of harm, but is it really their fault? Can they really be blamed for their terrifying and perhaps inherent traits, or are they simply just products and in this case victims of their environments? Let’s settle this debate once and for all and figure out how and when this disorder becomes apparent. So, are you born a narcissist or is it developed?

Why Do I Feel Bad When People Don’t Message Me Back?

Friday night rolls around and after a hard week you were expecting to have a drink with a girlfriend, but she seems to have left you hanging on read... To make matters worse (and the humiliation?) you even saw the little typing sign appear, yet you never received a reply. Well, if that’s the case, obviously you or your "how about a drink tonight?" didn’t deserve an answer. Let’s take a look at why some people don't reply to messages, and why when someone doesn't reply to your text, this makes us feel so bad.

How Does A Narcissist React When They Can’t Control You?

You probably know by now that narcissists only ever look for one thing and one thing only; and that’s control! Whether in their personal or professional life, folks with this personality disorder need to be in the driving seat and the one calling the shots, otherwise all hell breaks loose. Although their cunning and manipulative nature means they are often hard to escape, it is still possible to turn the tables on them and take the upper hand. Yet, you’ll need a thick skin to do so because when they feel their power slipping away, they become even more dangerous and abusive; here’s how they react when that happens.

How To Get Revenge On A Narcissist?

Narcissistic abuse is one of the most horrific challenges anyone can ever go through in life, but that’s not to say that their reign of terror will last forever. Evidently, breaking the cycle of abuse isn’t exactly straightforward, however, once the discard phase has been activated and victims realize that they can walk away with their heads held high, the revenge phase can commence. Unsurprisingly, getting even with a raging egocentric narcissist needs to be carefully planned, but ironically, their self-centered personalities expose to many axes of revenge, which will evidently really get to them…

How Do Narcissists Behave Sexually?

As with many things in life, narcissists also have unhealthy relationships with sex and treat it as nothing more than a self-gratifying activity. After all, manipulation, control, and emotional abuse are their so-called trusty weapons that they hide behind in most circumstances, so why wouldn’t they call on them in the bedroom too? The bottom line is people with this personality disorder are used to getting what they want and will only ever put themselves and their pleasure first, which doesn’t bode well for a healthy sex life. Discover how they behave in the bedroom and what you should do if you are involved with one.

Can A Narcissist Become Obsessed With Someone?

Now, narcissists are known for demonstrating a worrying lack of empathy along with deviously manipulative traits, oh, and before I forget to mention it, HUGE egos too. Yes, that’s right, they love spending hours looking in the mirror and being told how fabulous they are. To put it in other words, people with this personality disorder are firmly in love with themselves, to the point of being totally obsessed with their so-called perfection, but the question is, can they put their self-admiration aside enough to become preoccupied with someone else?

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

How to detect a narcissist


"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde


How to soothe an anxiety attack