Are You Struggling To Discipline Your Child? - How To Punish Them Effectively

Last updated by Katie M.

“He’s so cute… When he’s asleep!” Without a care for your punishments, your child is disobedient and repeatedly gets into trouble! As a result, you don’t feel respected or effective, and you're no doubt pulling your hair out over what to do next. Well, the good news is that there are solutions to take back the power! Here's how you can punish your child without even having to raise your voice.

Are You Struggling To Discipline Your Child? - How To Punish Them Effectively
Contents: 

There’s no need to tire yourself out! Until your child is 1 and a half / 2, they won’t understand the punishment: frown, state firmly your best “no” and that’ll do the trick. After that, it’s a whole other story. Your toddler is growing, and their brain is developing… Parents, we have a wide choice of punishments! It’s up to us to be inventive and relevant. A good punishment teaches the child something and prevents them from doing it again. So, no more smacking! Turn your little monsters into real angels.

10 Tips to punish your child effectively

1. Get them to apologize

This is the first and most important stage! Apologizing requires a real effort for children, but is a very educational punishment. The added bonus: you teach them to question and respect. Today’s children are tomorrow’s adults, and nobody likes people who can’t swallow their pride.

2. Show them that everything has consequences

Vacuuming, cleaning the table, there are so many chores to show them! By paying their debt, they’ll realize that these chores take time and deserve to be respected.

3. Keep a straight face

If there’s nobody left to pay attention to the clown, they’ll understand they’re not funny and will stop joking. With children, it’s the same. Ignoring them is the best punishment.

>>> This article might interest you; My sister is jealous of me

4. Give them time to think about what they've done

This tip works in particular with younger children who may suffer from separation anxiety disorder. Not seeing their parents (not for too long, though) is enough for them to realize they’ve done something wrong. Alone with their mischief, they’ll be forced to calm down.

5. Explain why you are disciplining them

A good punishment comes with an explanation. For all you know, your child may not even know why they were suddenly sent to the corner as punishment (Ok, they probably have an idea…). Explaining to your little one what was wrong with their behavior will enable them to know the rules of the house and the limits of those who run it.

6. Get them to accept responsibility

Putting back together what has been broken, cleaning up what has been made dirty… This will make your little delinquent more responsible. If all their pocket money goes into the repair budget, we guarantee they’ll be more careful.

7. Adapt your response

If you deprive them of dessert, but they don’t care about fruit pies, you’ll lose credibility. It’s about reaching something that doesn’t cause them stress, but that is really important to them. You can be sure that your punishment will be meaningful.

>>> Discover why we need to stop comparing children

8. Get the timing right

Effective punishment is as easy to miss as a train. By reacting in the 10 seconds before the misbehavior, at what point do you think about the most adapted punishment? You shouldn’t wait too long either because 3 hours later, your child won’t remember what they’ve done wrong (thanks to selective memory!).

9. Don't let things slide

Once everyone has calmed down, discuss it together! Why did they disobey you? Why didn’t you like it? Model parents use communication because it’s constructive! Moreover, your little terror will be made responsible without feeling guilty. Resentment often leads to conflict, so if you can avoid it…

10. Stand united

Smiles and angel faces mustn’t make you crack! Can you see yourself taking a cake out of the oven before it’s baked? No! You always finish what you’ve started. Go through with your punishment to the end. And if your partner is around, make sure they remain on your side!

The editor's opinion: 3 Golden rules for effective punishment

Every child needs boundaries, limits to grow, but beware that a badly perceived punishment or too much authority can have the opposite effect. Child and adolescent psychologist Nuria Casanovas offers us 3 simple tips for an effective punishment.

1. Talk about “consequences” rather than “punishments”, the word punishment is too negative. Explain to your child that these consequences are there to help them become aware of their actions and become a responsible person.

2. Anticipate! State the rules clearly and agree on what will happen if the child breaks them.

3. “Consequences” tailored to the “behavior”. Adjust your response to your child’s behavior. For example, if they’ve drawn on the walls, make them clean it. If they hit their brother or sister, make them aware of the pain they’ve caused and ask them to fix it, with a magic kiss, for example. Don’t hesitate to get in touch with a coach if you feel overwhelmed.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

Be sure to check these articles out too:

Article presented by Katie M.

Discover the world through my eyes.

Read our latest articles here:

Mindfulness Meditation

Ah meditation! Who still hasn’t heard of it? For several years now, this practice has been gaining in popularity. Is it a need to slow down or a desire to find a haven of peace in an ever-changing and stressful world? Maybe. What exactly is mindfulness meditation? What are the benefits? And is it good for everyone? 1, 2, 3, breathe and dive into a more zen world!

What Causes Our Nightmares?

It's still dark when I open my eyes, and my heart is pounding out of my chest. In any case, phew, because I'm still alive and kicking. That man who was chasing me through that abandoned house wasn’t real, and I haven’t been chopped up into hundreds of little pieces. It was all just a bad dream... Like many people, I often have nightmares and have decided that I want to get to the bottom as to why. Let’s take a look together at what causes these disturbing dreams and traumatic events. 😱

8 Reasons Why Malignant Narcissists Are So Dangerous

If the title of this article hasn’t totally scared you away, then you are no doubt wondering what this beast of a person is really like. Well, a malignant narcissist is a step up from a typical narcissist and adds an antisocial personality disorder to the already intimidating mixture. Combined, these two personality disorders represent the relentless need for control, admiration, and power for selfish reasons, making folks with this diagnosis that bit scarier than classic manipulators. Here’s why these people are so terrifying, and how you can get your own back on them.

What Are The Weaknesses Of A Narcissist?

Each one of us has our own weaknesses that hold us back in life; be it at work or in relationships. However, on a more positive note, most of us have the will to work on them and transform them. That being said, once narcissists are brought into the picture, the idea that they want to work on their weaknesses doesn’t exactly seem feasible. For a deeper understanding of these narcissists and more insights into the workings of their minds, discover their weak spots and which pointers they struggle with on a daily basis, yet aren't willing to admit or work on.

Why Do Couples No Longer Fight To Save Their Relationships?

Seeing the number of couples who divorce or separate around us, a legitimate question arises and that is; do we fight less than previous generations to save our relationships? At the first sign of trouble, many of us seem willing to give up and move on to fresher pastures in the love department, that's right, we tend to believe that the grass is greener elsewhere. Is it because we were never truly head over heels for our partner? And, is it naïve to think that love can be everlasting?

I’m Nostalgic; But How Can I Stop Looking Back?

Whenever I have trouble sleeping, whenever I’m bored or whenever my thoughts wander, it’s not uncommon for me to find myself reliving my childhood vacations, or a delightful weekend in bed or even my wedding day. Sometimes I even shed a tear thinking about these moments in my past… Yes, I’m nostalgic, and I love revisiting memories, but that has to stop! Discover the steps to put in place if you want to live in the present!

I Still Suck My Thumb As An Adult

In general, thumb sucking ends around the age of 6. I say “in general” and not “normally”, because as an adult I don’t feel weird or particularly bothered by it. When I get stressed, I allow myself to let go and return to my childhood self by sucking my thumb. Those who know about it or catch me by surprise make me realize I should be ashamed… But is this habit a big deal? What if it makes me feel better? It’s certainly no worse than lighting up a cigarette or biting your nails…

Why Do Hugs And Physical Contact Make Me Feel Uncomfortable?

There are people who don’t like to be touched at all, and who are almost disgusted by physical contact. There are people who like to caress and be caressed for anything and everything, and there are people like me who always recoil when someone tries to touch them. Why do I shy away from physical contact? What if it’s all linked to the past?

10 Examples Of Text Messages A Narcissist Sends

Narcissists definitely move with the times, which is why many of them constantly troll dating sites for new victims. Chatting with a manipulator of this magnitude can be a rollercoaster experience, with dizzying heights that might lead you to believe you are in love, to gut-wrenching lows which will make you question your worth. For any raving narcissist, text message exchanges are a great way to reel in victims and follow through with their master plans for ultimate control over them. Are you texting someone you suspect to be a narcissist? The examples below could confirm your suspicions.

Are Narcissists Lonely?

Loneliness is one of society’s biggest enemies, and none of us are exempt from it, not even the most devilish of narcissists out there. In fact, throughout the Coronavirus pandemic, 36% of Americans claimed that they have never felt lonelier, which sets a scary benchmark for the wider population. Now, lots of us would no doubt immediately assume that narcissists are too independent and strong-willed to feel lonely, however, the truth is they are often the biggest victims of this phenomenon, yet simply have trouble expressing their inner malaise.

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist

wengood

  1. Only LoveBen Howard
    4:08
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
    4:55
  4. Beautiful DayU2
    4:08
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
    4:41
  6. White FlagDido
    4:00
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
    4:13
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
    3:17
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
    3:35
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
    4:24
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
    3:07
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
    4:37
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
    3:46
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
    2:19
  15. With Or Without YouU2
    4:56
  16. HelloAdele
    4:55
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
    3:29
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
    3:21
  19. WingsBirdy
    4:12
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar
    3:41


"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde


How to detect a narcissist

How to detect a narcissist

How to soothe an anxiety attack

How to soothe an anxiety attack