How To Stop Yelling At Your Children, And Instead Get The Message Across Gently

Last updated by Katie M.

Sunday, 8.30 pm, it’s quiet again at home and I take the opportunity to make myself a promise; this week I’ll hold firm and I won’t scream at my children. Except I’ve already made myself this promise several times, yet never seem to be able to stick to it… Things have to change, but how can I get my children to listen to me without raising the decibels?

How To Stop Yelling At Your Children, And Instead Get The Message Across Gently

My kids are certainly adorable, but they don't listen...

First thing is first, you’re parents, and therefore human beings, not machines. All children have their own behavior, and it’s almost inevitable that one day or another they’ll go through a phase in their development where they become stubborn and disobedient. Your little angels, so sweet and cute, then start playing with your nerves, testing your limits, and making discoveries… more or less great.

😱 Result: you get angry and shout. In absolute terms, it’s not a big deal. Within reason, everyone has the right to snap, the problem is if this attitude happens regularly. Indeed, if you shout at your children often, do you really think that it has an impact? Does shouting at your children make it easier for you to be listened to?

>>> You may be interested in this article: Is your mom a narcissist?

7 Tips to avoid shouting at your children

1. Let go

“You give him everything” Every parent fears this sentence. We all imagine that everyone says this when they see us with our children, so we become fussy, we focus on the details, we want our children to obey at all costs, and we put pressure on ourselves. This is a bad start. What if instead of trying to have perfect children, we try to have happy children with a positive upbringing that corresponds to our values. By relaxing the rules, there is immediately less need to shout and moreover, we send a clear message that isn’t confused by several orders.

2. Look for the positive

Does your child refuse to finish their meal or scream at the top of their lungs every time you refuse to give them something? Yes, it’s annoying and yes, it tends to do your head in. Instead of focusing on the empty part of the glass, why not look for the positive from time to time? You have children, they’re fine, you’re healthy, you have a good job, nice times with your family, a lovely house, etc. Whatever it is, concentrate on what is good in your life and if need be, write it down in a notebook so that this positive thing can take on a bit more weight.

>>> Read; How to react when your child is violent

3. Establish routines

Children are little creatures who like their little routines. It’s normal, they reassure them. But routines also allow everyone to know what has to be done and when. It’s practical because it avoids you repeating yourself and ending up shouting.

4. Breathe

Remembering to breathe is still the surest way to avoid acting impulsively out of anger. When you feel you’re getting annoyed and the anger is rising inside you, isolate yourself and take the time to breathe deeply or even meditate for a little while. It will enable you to calm down and come back and discuss things with your children more peacefully.

>>> This article may help you: 4 effective breathing exercises 

5. Think about yourself

Doing things for yourself that you like to do is also and above all about stopping sacrificing yourself all the time and finding a calmer state of mind. This helps you to approach life with more ease, less frustration, and therefore without shouting.

6. Give hugs

Ah, hugs and their many powers! This small gesture of tenderness can defuse many a tantrum. A twenty-second cuddle gives a feeling of well-being and can therefore gently soothe your child… as long as they allow themselves to do so. Otherwise, don’t force it, it’ll come later.

7. Crouch down

I don’t know about you, but I hate it when someone tells me off when I’m sitting, and they’re standing. It’s the same for children. They will understand and listen to you better if you come down to their level. Look them in the eyes and explain to them calmly what you want from them.

Editor’s note: Don’t hesitate to ask for help…

If you feel you shout too often and that there is too much tension, don’t hesitate to contact a psychologist in order to take stock together of your family relationships and find solutions to rediscover a harmonious family life.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!


More content:

Article presented by Katie M.

Discover the world through my eyes.

Read our latest articles here:

How To Make A Narcissist Fear You?

Now, I know what you’re thinking, scaring a narcissist is impossible, so, let me stop you right there because it’s totally false! Getting these awful manipulators to fear you is no easy challenge, however, there are certain things you can do that will help you turn the tables on them in no time. Letting these abusers know that they’ve met their match is the first important step toward the road to recovery, so I hope you’re ready for the journey. Here are 10 ways to scare a narcissist

What Exactly Does It Mean To Be An Extrovert?

I wish I could say loud and clear that I’m an extrovert, but not at all. I belong to the opposite team, the team of introverts. However, even though we don’t operate in the same way, that doesn’t prevent me from being surrounded by extroverts. I myself have a few moments when my introversion gives way to my extroversion, when I feel good, surrounded by a few people that I know well. So how does extroversion work? How is it different? What can you do to get on well with an extrovert? Let me explain.

Everything You Need To Know About Hyper-Empathy

Sometimes you’re devastated by your best friend’s break-up, sometimes you’re euphoric about your sister’s pregnancy... Sometimes it feels like other people’s emotions are invading you, so much so that you feel like you’re experiencing what they’re going through like it’s your own life. Have you ever felt this way? Maybe you’re affected by hyper-empathy, a characteristic not dissimilar to hypersensitivity. But what exactly is it? How do you distinguish between the two? And above all, how do you know if you’re hyper-empathetic? Let me explain.

Why Do Narcissists Stare?

Narcissists have a reputation for being amongst the most manipulative people out there, and rightly so! The truth is, these people are so good at the evil things they do because they operate under the radar and use covert methods to exercise their depraved missions. Now, one of the biggest and seemingly most unsuspecting techniques they use to manipulate and control their victims is staring. You're no doubt a little dubious about a stare being an effective tool in the art of manipulation, but it's true, a void and menacing look is one of the most intimidating and unnerving gestures that these folks turn to.

8 Reasons Why All Narcissists Are Hypocrites

If you know anything about narcissists, you'll surely be aware that they are extremely overly judgmental and critical, especially towards other people. Their faultfinding stems from their perception of ultimate superiority, and therefore legitimizes them in holding people to intimidatingly high standards. However, although they may believe they are pretty much perfect, the reality couldn't be any more different, yet they are slightly more forgiving with themselves. That's right, they are huge hypocrites and go from one extreme to another in a split second. Here we discuss the reasons behind their hypocritical behavior.

Are Narcissists Born Or Made? - Let's Settle The Debate

There you have it, the nature vs nurture debate is back, only this time I want to focus it on those deviously manipulative personalities we refer to as narcissists. Now, evidently these folks get bad press and rightly so because they are often at the root of plenty of harm, but is it really their fault? Can they really be blamed for their terrifying and perhaps inherent traits, or are they simply just products and in this case victims of their environments? Let’s settle this debate once and for all and figure out how and when this disorder becomes apparent. So, are you born a narcissist or is it developed?

Why Do I Feel Bad When People Don’t Message Me Back?

Friday night rolls around and after a hard week you were expecting to have a drink with a girlfriend, but she seems to have left you hanging on read... To make matters worse (and the humiliation?) you even saw the little typing sign appear, yet you never received a reply. Well, if that’s the case, obviously you or your "how about a drink tonight?" didn’t deserve an answer. Let’s take a look at why some people don't reply to messages, and why when someone doesn't reply to your text, this makes us feel so bad.

How Does A Narcissist React When They Can’t Control You?

You probably know by now that narcissists only ever look for one thing and one thing only; and that’s control! Whether in their personal or professional life, folks with this personality disorder need to be in the driving seat and the one calling the shots, otherwise all hell breaks loose. Although their cunning and manipulative nature means they are often hard to escape, it is still possible to turn the tables on them and take the upper hand. Yet, you’ll need a thick skin to do so because when they feel their power slipping away, they become even more dangerous and abusive; here’s how they react when that happens.

How To Get Revenge On A Narcissist?

Narcissistic abuse is one of the most horrific challenges anyone can ever go through in life, but that’s not to say that their reign of terror will last forever. Evidently, breaking the cycle of abuse isn’t exactly straightforward, however, once the discard phase has been activated and victims realize that they can walk away with their heads held high, the revenge phase can commence. Unsurprisingly, getting even with a raging egocentric narcissist needs to be carefully planned, but ironically, their self-centered personalities expose to many axes of revenge, which will evidently really get to them…

How Do Narcissists Behave Sexually?

As with many things in life, narcissists also have unhealthy relationships with sex and treat it as nothing more than a self-gratifying activity. After all, manipulation, control, and emotional abuse are their so-called trusty weapons that they hide behind in most circumstances, so why wouldn’t they call on them in the bedroom too? The bottom line is people with this personality disorder are used to getting what they want and will only ever put themselves and their pleasure first, which doesn’t bode well for a healthy sex life. Discover how they behave in the bedroom and what you should do if you are involved with one.

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

How to detect a narcissist

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde

How to soothe an anxiety attack