Writing to comfort a bereaved person
There’s no greater ordeal than losing a loved one. Words can be healthy to help those you love to recover from the grief of death and get through the stages of mourning. Comforting someone with words is often the most personal, touching, and beautiful gesture you can make to someone suffering the loss of a loved one. However, death remains a taboo subject sometimes, and we don’t always feel at ease with words, especially when it comes to expressing your compassion. That’s why I’ve come up with 5 texts that might inspire you or help you write your condolences.
5 texts to help a bereaved person
✒ “I can’t imagine how difficult the loss of ... is. How unfair and incomprehensible their departure may seem to you. I therefore send you my most sincere condolences for the loss you’ve just suffered, I renew my friendship, and my support and accompany you in your sadness.”
✒ “I can imagine how difficult it is to carry on living as if nothing had changed. To do all those little things that make up our lives, while such an absence weighs on us. I’m well aware of the ordeal you’re going through, but I can only accompany you on this painful journey, sharing your grief rather than understanding it. No one can really understand what the loss of a loved one does to your heart. Let me be your shoulder to cry on and accept my deepest condolences.”
✒ “I know that words can seem very vain in the face of the loss you’ve just suffered, the ordeal you must go through. I hope, though, that for a moment, just for a moment they will light a small fire in you, a spark, and lighten a little the weight of the absence you carry in your heart.”
✒ “I’d like to take some of the pain you’re going through right now, but I can only give you my love and support. Saying that time heals doesn’t heal, and it’s not soothing. So take time. Cherish the memories, cry, scream, hit, insult life, and I’ll still be here, listening to you and reminding you, sometimes gently, that hope remains. One day your heart, so heavy, so wrapped up in grief, will be free again. And in the smile of a stranger, in the flight of a bird, in a landscape, you’ll find a little bit of ... and you’ll marvel at it.”
✒ “I’m sending you all of my condolences. I imagine you must be sad and angry and lonely. It’s always absence and loneliness that come knocking first when we lose those we love. Remember that I’m here, that we’re all here. We’re all alone, but we’re together in this solitude.”
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Famous words to help you grieve 📖
Great writers know how to find the right words. Why not draw inspiration from them to accompany, support, and comfort someone who’s just lost a loved one?
- “The beauty of death is its presence. The inexpressible presence of loved ones, smiling into our tearful eyes. The loved one is gone, not departed. We can no longer see their gentle face; we feel we’re under their wings. The dead are the invisible ones, but they’re not the absent ones.” Victor Hugo
- “You’re no longer where you were, but you’re everywhere I am.” Victor Hugo
- “I don't like the word dead. You don’t die, you ride a rainbow stallion to ‘Lucy in the sky with Diamonds’. But if you’ve been naughty, someone will open the door and hum ‘Elles sont cuitas les bananas...’” Baptiste Beaulieu
- “Death unites people, unites villages. That’s why we love it. Its threat brings people together. As you can see, death is the worst enemy of solitude.” Clara Dupont-Monod
- “The night is never complete. There’s always, as I say, as I affirm, at the end of grief, an open window, a window of light.” Paul Eluard
Words have a therapeutic power; they have a strong influence on our brains. They can hurt or help us to feel better, to heal. As well as conveying information, they transmit emotion, which helps us to clarify our feelings and strengthen our social ties. All this helps us to know ourselves better and to connect better with others.
Writing from the heart
If the examples above can help you write your message of condolence, remember above all that, just like a love letter, the important thing is to speak from the heart. A message will never be as good or as well received as if you manage to pay tribute to the deceased with kindness and compassion. Offer your support in a personal way, but without talking too much about yourself, and comfort with sympathy and love.
>>> Get the inspiration you need to write beautiful farewell letters
Editor’s note: Don’t talk about yourself...
When death strikes, when we’re told of a death, we’re never quite sure what to say or what to do, as each of us reacts as best we can at the moment. Take the time to put your memories and thoughts down on paper to ease the grief. Finally, don’t forget that these words are there to comfort you, not to talk about you or your feelings, so don’t stray from your objective... And if you feel that your relationship with death is complicated, that you’re not getting over the loss of a loved one, don’t hesitate to contact one of our psychologists to help you understand what’s going on inside you so that you can move forward.
🤗 Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... It’s here and now!
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