I Can’t Stand People Anymore! Will I Live, Doctor?

Why can’t I stand people anymore?

I’ve always been an introvert by nature. In other words, I’ve always felt more comfortable doing my own thing, like pursuing my passions, rather than going out with people 😅. I recharge my batteries by being alone and as solitude doesn’t weigh heavy on me, I don’t see the time go by. So when I go out and find myself in a crowd, my social anxiety is at its peak: there are too many people, too much noise, too much stimulation 🤯.

“Solitude is dangerous. It’s addictive. Once you see how peaceful it is, you no longer want to face people.”

Carl Jung.

I find this quote by the famous psychiatrist Carl Jung very true! When we get used to peace, we tend to withdraw into ourselves. All the more so when we find people unsettling. At least, we can’t predict other people’s behavior, we’re faced with them, and we have to interpret their behavior. Psychologist Albert Ellis reminds us that it’s this interpretation that distances us from others.

Masked dissatisfaction?

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” - Anaïs Nin

Once again, we come back to interpretation with this quote. The way we see others reflects a feeling inside of us. So if we feel dissatisfied or frustrated, it can affect our emotions towards others.

Personally, I don’t feel that way. Well, except when I’m behind the wheel, and I’m annoyed by dangerous behavior 😠. I think mostly it’s my asocial side, which prefers to be left alone 😬. Basically, it’s in my nature, so I don’t get alarmed, but could it be hiding something else?

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Is it serious not to like other people?

There’s nothing wrong with being unfriendly. At least, if you manage to control it and not exclude yourself from society, there’s nothing to worry about. Indeed, it’s normal to have negative emotions from time to time, but if it’s constant, it points to a deeper problem 🧐.

The founder of individual psychology, Alfred Adler, explains that an individual who’s not interested in his fellow human beings constitutes a danger to the community. If I describe myself as asocial, I make a clear distinction with the antisocial personality, which is described by Adler. It’s a real psychiatric illness with a cruel lack of empathy 😔.

However, without going that far, it’s also possible that depression or an anxiety disorder can disrupt our view of others. To be perfectly honest, I know I’m affected by the latter, so I think it reinforces my dislike of crowds and strangers. I want to stress that latter term, because even though I’m a loner by nature and suffer from a disorder, it doesn’t stop me from being around people 👀.

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Don’t become completely isolated

“Man is a social animal,” said Aristotle. To feel good, we need social interactions, and that’s why I still have my family and a group of friends who are dear to me. Sometimes I dare to step out of my comfort zone and meet new people. At least, when I feel comfortable, i.e. when it’s not too crowded. It’s crucial not to isolate yourself completely and close yourself off into a feeling of exclusion.

In fact, you have to find your balance. It reminds me of the minimalist tattoo of a friend of mine who has “adore et endure” on her arm. It means that she adores others as much as she endures them. We’re back to Aristotle’s quote 🧐! Having a circle of friends and people you love is essential, and it’s on that basis that you can allow yourself to no longer put up with other people 😜.

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