I’ve had a crush on someone at work before. Honestly, if I hadn’t found out later that he was in a relationship, I’d have gone all out to seduce him. Except that we all know the “No sex at work” rule, which means that it’s a bad idea to sleep with a colleague, or worse, your boss! Is it really that dangerous a game? What do you risk if you’re caught in the act? I’ll explain it all to you (yes, I did my homework before going for it)!
In many people’s minds, love and work are incompatible, it would be like trying to mix oil and water 😬. Yes, some managers and superiors already see being on first-name terms at work as something negative, so imagine what a sexual or romantic relationship would be like! But why is this badly perceived? For the company, love at work is the best way to disrupt employee productivity. It’s true that whether everything’s going well or not, our attention will be turned to this matter rather than to our daily tasks 🙃...
Except that we spend an average of 7 to 8 hours a day working, 5 days a week 🤯. This is a far cry from the 8-hour week, which would theoretically be good for our mental health. In short, we spend most of our time at work, so it’s not surprising we have crushes on a colleague or even our boss.
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Not so impossible According to a 2018 Ipsos survey, 14% of married couples have formed in the workplace! When it comes to sex, 35% of people have already had sex with someone in their work environment. Yes, who’d have thought? 🤫... |
👉 In terms of productivity, many psychologists, including Loïck Roche, author of the book “Cupid at Work”, agree that it’s a productivity booster and that it can be a source of creativity and extra motivation! And besides, it’s in the most innovative companies that there are the most intimate relationships... Coincidence? I don’t think so!
Well, it’s all well and good to say that we have the therapists on our side, but isn’t this boldness at work a dangerous game in the eyes of the law 👀? Although in the US, companies can ban relationships and apply sanctions.
⚠️ It can be a dangerous game if you decide to have sex in the workplace. Yes, if you get caught, you risk facing disciplinary action or even dismissal... Sure, it may be a great fantasy, but the downside can be harsh if you’re caught in the act.
Even if it’s tempting, avoid sex at your workplace!
Even worse, the employer may consider that we do our tasks badly because of this fling. For example: if we take a slightly longer lunch break to have lunch with our colleague, this could be sanctioned... If, on top of that, we have a toxic manager on our backs, there’s a good chance that he’ll take advantage of this excuse to make our lives even harder. So how do we make it right 😣?
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Yes, technically, it’s possible to have a relationship at work. Nevertheless, it’s not a smooth ride... To avoid it getting out of hand and becoming a dangerous game where you get burnt, there are 4 golden rules to respect:
1 - Be lucid: You need to take a step back and ask yourself the right questions in order to assess all the risks: Is it worth it? Will we be able to manage it emotionally? Is there a subordinate relationship? Will it harm professional relationships?
2 - Be discreet: This is the most important rule. You need to make sure that no one knows about it. The saying goes “a secret life is a happy life”, this is even more true when it comes to sex or love at work...
3 - Remain professional: No matter what happens in the intimate relationship, we must leave the private where it is, that is, not during our working hours! It mustn’t influence our judgement or our abilities...
4 - Be honest: If the time for fooling around is over and the relationship is serious, then you’ll have to talk about it! It’s like announcing a pregnancy to your employer, you have to do it, because after a while, it’ll show 😅. But you should only do it if it’s 100% serious!
You can’t say that it will allow you not to get caught or have a nasty rumor behind your back 🤐. Nevertheless, it helps to limit the damage! Because no matter how hard you try to hold back, sometimes the attraction is so strong that you let yourself get caught. Is it worth it 🕯️? It’s up to you, but in the meantime, you have all the keys in hand so that it’s not a (too) dangerous game.
Workplace attraction often intensifies due to shared experiences and close proximity. When we spend significant time with colleagues, facing similar challenges and celebrating shared victories, emotional bonds naturally develop. Understanding these dynamics can help us manage workplace relationships more consciously.
Today's hybrid work environment adds new complexity to workplace relationships. Virtual meetings, casual dress codes, and flexible schedules have blurred traditional professional boundaries, making it even more important to establish clear personal guidelines. Here's what to consider:
When attraction develops, workplace messaging can become a minefield. Keep all digital communications professional, even on personal devices, as these exchanges can leave permanent traces that might affect your career later. Remember that work platforms are usually monitored.
Office relationships affect more than just the couple involved. Colleagues may feel uncomfortable, team dynamics can shift, and professional relationships might strain. Consider these impacts before acting on workplace attractions:
While workplace relationships can be successful, they require careful career planning. Consider how your professional growth might be affected, whether you'll need to change departments, and how future opportunities might be impacted. Having a contingency plan is essential for both parties.
Editor’s note: You only live once!Having a relationship with a colleague or your boss can be very thrilling and exciting, but as Lauren reminds us, be careful not to get caught. It’s up to you to take responsibility. If you feel like this is the love of your life, go for it, don’t think about it and listen to your heart, after all, you only live once. And then you’ll find a new job if it’s awkward. If your romantic situation is problematic, if the same patterns repeat themselves, make an appointment with a psychologist. Together you’ll understand where the pattern comes from and how to put in place new habits to be happier. 🤗 Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... It’s here and now! #BornToBeMe |
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Article presented by Lauren Hart
Writing is a beautiful means of expression that I cannot do without. It has allowed me to channel my hypersensitivity, plus I love writing about psychology and personal development. For me, self-understanding is the best way to move forward!
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