Is Not Giving A Damn The Secret To Happiness? Really?

Last updated by Rosie Harlow

I often get told to take things less to heart. I admit that as a hypersensitive person, I put my heart and soul into everything. Perhaps a little too much because that tends to generate anxiety. So in the end, is not giving a damn about anything the secret to happiness? Well, I’ve tried to delve into the subject with my research, and it’s not quite as simple as that. Here are some explanations.

Is Not Giving A Damn The Secret To Happiness? Really?

Why does it feel got not giving a damn?

As I said, I’m a hypersensitive person who also suffers from a major anxiety disorder. As a result, I find it hard telling myself that I shouldn’t give a damn 😅. However, I know the benefits of letting go, as I’ve been trying to do it for several years now with therapy. As the psychologist Jon Kabat-Zin puts it:

“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”

Une surfeuse

I find this metaphor, firstly, very cool, and secondly, it says it all 🏊‍♀️. We can’t always control the events we encounter, but we can learn to manage our emotions. And what happens when we decide not to let our negative emotions get the better of us? We release the pressure and relieve the stress. We now know that stress has many harming effects on the body, both mentally and physically. Yes, our immune system can be weakened by ruminations, and we’re more at risk of heart disease 😓.

👋 You may be interested in this article: 10 Tips on how to let go of things and feel freer than ever

Do we really not give a damn about anything?

Yes, not giving a damn is one of the secrets to happiness because it has real effects on the body and mind. However, I need to qualify this, because although letting go is a central concept in many philosophies, it shouldn’t be taken to a very high level either 🤔. Indeed, some people don’t give a damn about anything, a little too much, to the point of feeling that they’re indifferent and totally disengaged. This can put a distance between them and others, as such behavior isn’t socially accepted.

What’s more, in psychology, indifference shows that there’s a latent problem 🤕. When we don’t give a damn about anything, it may be linked to a defense mechanism. We protect ourselves by avoiding what makes us suffer. Even more seriously, this disillusioned behavior can demonstrate apathy or depression, as psychiatrist Aaron Beck explains. It’s also characteristic of antisocial personality disorder, when a person feels nothing for the feelings or rights of others 😥.

👋 Discover; What are the symptoms of depression?

It’s all about balance

In fact, like everything else, it’s all a question of balance. There are many things, such as our relationships or work, that require a minimum of emotional investment. Letting go, not giving a damn about anything, doesn’t mean ignoring important things like this. No, it’s about recognizing what’s beyond our control and choosing not to hold on to it with anxiety, anger, resentment, etc. Not giving a damn about anything in this way is a way to free up mental and emotional energy so we can focus on what’s truly important in life 🥰.

As such, you can avoid getting outraged over trivial things like “the shopping delivery’s late” or “that’s awful, I’ll miss my train”. I know what I’m talking about, I often have these thoughts, and it’s a disaster at the time 😫. But in fact, we need to do a lot of work on ourselves and say goodbye to our need to control everything so that we can let go of everything that gets in the way unnecessarily.

Editor’s note: Finding a balance

As is often the case in life, it’s a question of finding the right balance: how much should you invest, and when should you let go? Don’t hesitate to seek professional help, a psychologist can help you distinguish between what deserves your attention and what you can let go of. It’s a step towards yourself that you won’t regret, a personal step that can unlock doors and teach you to manage your emotions better.

🤗 Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... It’s here and now!


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Article presented by Rosie Harlow

Writing has always been a form of therapy for me. For as long as I can remember, I have always used paper as a punching bag. Get to know me, I am Rosie Harlow.

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Wengood's playlist


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  4. Beautiful DayU2
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
  6. White FlagDido
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
  15. With Or Without YouU2
  16. HelloAdele
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
  19. WingsBirdy
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar

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