I’m Having Doubts About My Relationship; Is It Normal? How Should I React?

Last updated by Rosie Harlow

This happens often. Since life in a relationship, and even love, are never a smooth ride, of course, I have my doubts 😵‍💫. Not on the same wavelength, the impression that the grass is greener on the other side, different plans… Under the weight of doubts, love loses its splendor. Can it be fixed? I don’t think so, but the important thing is to know how to react.

I’m Having Doubts About My Relationship; Is It Normal? How Should I React?

Why am I having doubts about my relationship?

Some people may have doubts because they’re worried. It’s in their nature. Life is one big uncertainty and the fear of failing guides every decision. For others, it’s another story. Doubts can come from the feeling that they are no longer one, that they have drifted apart. Today, a relationship is a connection: we want to be on the same wavelength emotionally, psychologically and sexually.

🤯 You no longer have the same vision of life; you want different things. Your expectations have changed since the beginning of your relationship, and you’re no longer completely satisfied, you could even say that frustration is starting to show. And there is clearly reason to have doubts! How can you continue to live in a relationship that no longer fulfills you completely? So what? Shouldn’t you make any more efforts to save your relationship? Draw a line under it and move on. Maybe, maybe not. Before making a decision, it’s important to think about it.

>>> Find out why people no longer fight to save their relationships

When in doubt, ask yourself the following questions…

🧐 In a relationship, doubt isn’t fatal. It won’t lead to an immediate break-up, but it can offer some food for thought and point out what works and above all what doesn’t. The best way to get rid of doubts is therefore… to ask yourself the right questions and answer them.

1. What is the root of the problem?

Here you must question the very root of your doubts. Is it an overall questioning of your life? Do you want a profound change, or is it only your relationship that no longer gives you what you need? Dare to look things head on and question your relationship: are you still happy?

2. Have we spoken to each other?

A couple is two people. There are things you have to dare to say to each other in a relationship, and telling your partner that you are having doubts is almost essential. Indeed, your partner may also be having doubts, and you may realize that a lack of or poor communication are sometimes the reason for unhappiness in a relationship. Talk about your doubts freely and as honestly as possible. You may end up finding a way to silence them together.

3. Is this the end?

We often think, wrongly, that having doubts leaves the door wide open for a break-up and a broken heart, but having doubts about our relationship can also be a warning signal that encourages us to take better care of ourselves, our relationship and our life. To avoid dwelling on it, we learn to let go and give ourselves a real chance. We can focus on the positive and tell ourselves that the doubts we’re feeling are proof that there are still reasons to stay… or that it’s no longer worth fighting for. Either way, don’t rush, doubts are part of life and there’s no need to solve them immediately. We can also choose to take our time.

4. Am I eternally dissatisfied?

Yes or no, it doesn’t matter. As I was saying, doubts are part of life, so there’s no need to blame yourself because you’re no longer sure about yourself. Love and relationships are very important. Too important to be locked in a relationship in which both parties no longer share enough.

5. How about a break?

Taking a break in a relationship can sometimes be a solution, but it doesn’t come without risk. A successful break requires several rules: it must be a consensual decision, distance is essential, and communication beforehand is vital to establish your own rules. Whether fidelity is imposed, the length of the break, daily or weekly calls, etc.

A break is a difficult time, but it can provide answers to our questions. Then, let’s not forget that a relationship needs to be nurtured to survive. After having doubts, you will therefore have to renew contact with the help of couple’s therapy, if necessary. If, on the other hand, you choose not to return, you should announce your decision as soon as possible. You know what they say, it’s better to rip the plaster off in one go!

>>> Check out this article; Is taking a break the secret to saving your relationship?

📍 FAQ; Is it OK to have doubts about a relationship? 📍

Doubt is not limited to the beginning of a relationship and is totally fine to have. It can also arise when life changes or important decisions are made. For example, the arrival of a child, a move or a change of job can all be triggers. These moments are often turning points in a relationship, and it's natural to wonder. "Are we ready to become parents?" or "Is this move the best thing for our relationship?" are legitimate questions that can arise.

Doubts can also arise during existential crises. These periods of questioning can be triggered by events such as job loss, the death of a loved one or even approaching a certain age. In these moments, it's not uncommon to wonder whether our partner is really the person we want to get through these trials with. "Is our love strong enough?" or "Do we share the same values and life goals?" are questions that can then take on particular importance.

How to tell if you’re not right for each other - 3 Signs that don’t lie

The best thing you can do to figure out if the man you’re dating is right for you, is to listen to your intuition. But our intuition isn’t always enough, and when that’s the case, you should look for other signs that reveal whether you need to move on or change your course. In the end, no one can make that decision but you.

1) He is not right for you if you don't accept his flaws

 Many people imagine that their ideal partner is perfect, a sort of semi-god who will solve all their problems and turn everyday life into a fairy tale. The real way to find out if he is right for you, however, is to find out if you are able to accept the flaws of the person you love. He's the one for you if you can accept his loud burps, his bad musical taste, or his chronic mess without grinding your teeth.

2) Admit that he's not your soulmate if you don't look forward to seeing him.

 Contrary to what you might think, you're not going to feel like you're in heaven 24/7 with him if he's the right man for you. But you're not going to feel anything when you're about to see him or go to his house if he's really not right for you. You should be looking forward to seeing him if he is the one for you.

3) Don't insist if he doesn't have the same vision of the future as you.

 If he's the one for you, you'll already have to think about what you'll do for the rest of your lives, whether that means getting married, having kids, or anything else that involves a traditional relationship or whether it involves a free union and lots of things to explore together. You know he's not the one for you if you're thinking about your near future or even what you'll be doing next summer without imagining him by your side.

Editor’s note: Having doubts is normal!

You’ve seen that it’s normal to have doubts about your relationship! However, if these doubts persist, if you feel lost or if you’re no longer sure about anything… It’s best to contact a psychologist who will help you find your place in your relationship and understand what’s going on inside you.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

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Article presented by Rosie Harlow

Writing has always been a form of therapy for me. For as long as I can remember, I have always used paper as a punching bag. Get to know me, I am Rosie Harlow.

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