What is the toast theory?
The toast that lands the wrong way up, it’s happened to all of us 🙃. It’s a great illustration of Murphy’s Law, “if something can go wrong, then it will”. However, during one of my infinite scrolling sessions on TikTok, I came across a video of a user, Ingrid, explaining that this can be seen in a positive light 🤔.
She explains that our everyday problems come about for good reasons, and that this probably enables us to avoid more serious disasters. But that’s just a theory from TikTok, and it hasn’t been scientifically verified. We can’t say that a piece of toast landing on the wrong side prevented us from having a road accident because we were late for work 😅.
👋 Another appalling trend I discovered on TikTok: penny dating 🤯!
Resilience work
However, what has been proven is that this way of thinking is a well-known psychological mechanism. Indeed, as psychologist Cameron Williams explains, our instinct is always to make sense of the things that happen to us, transforming chaos into cohesion ⚖️.
We look to fate, God, or any other form of belief for justification. It’s therefore important to remember that we’re the only ones responsible for events, but by thinking this way, we’re building our resilience. It gives us an anchor point, a solid justification to help us get back up and get through the little upsets 💪.
👋 You may be interested in this article: 8 Things I no longer care about, and I'm perfectly okay with that.
We must let the negative glide over us
However, what I find even more interesting is that we can link this toast story with what the father of cognitive therapy, Aaron T. Beck, explained. According to him, the way we perceive things has an enormous impact on our lives. If we never see the positive, we’ll get bogged down in negative emotions.
You might say to me: but what’s so positive about seeing your sandwich land on the wrong side 🙄? In itself, there’s nothing positive about this event, but we can tell ourselves that it’s no big deal. It’s a fact that we should let slide over us and not allow to get to us.
As such, we mustn’t let ourselves be overwhelmed by the stress and anxiety of the consequences of that piece of toast falling on the floor: being late for work, the floor that needs cleaning, etc. This attitude allows us to see obstacles as learning opportunities rather than failures. We anchor ourselves in peace and an objective reality that enables us to accept things that are beyond our control 🤗.
Don’t cross the line into toxic positivity
Be careful though, as I like to remind you, positivity can have its limits 🤕. Indeed, we shouldn’t repress all our negative emotions either, they have a role to play in our understanding of ourselves and the world around us. Admittedly, there are many advantages to seeing the glass as half full, but not at the expense of what we may be feeling.
On the other hand, if we find it very difficult to see things in a positive light, this may hide something much deeper than a simple state of mind. In fact, when you have a mental illness, such as an anxiety disorder or depression, it’s impossible to adopt this state of mind. You need support and medication to find peace of mind. Discover the symptoms of depressions here.
👉 It’s therefore an interesting theory that can help us put things into perspective, but it doesn’t mean we should get stuck in toxic positivity either!
Editor’s note: we can’t control events, but we can control the way we see things!The toast theory teaches us that, even when faced with the crumbs of our daily disasters, we have the power to choose how we see things. If you find that the toast lands the wrong way up a little too often, don’t hesitate to talk to a psychologist. They’ll be able to help you clean up your soul and butter up the positive sides of your life.
🤗 Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... It’s here and now!
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